I was df'ed in January 1996 at the age of 19 for commiting fornication with my fiance at the time. We both confessed before one elder who had known us both for a long time. I moved in with her that same night and despite a phone call from one of the elders on the JC (3 elders on JC, including the elder we confessed to) to try to convince us to meet with them, we refused and were announced as df'ed two weeks later (to the complete shock of the entire congregation). I let my fiance make her own desicion about meeting with them but my refusal was because I had no intention of telling them detailed accounts of what happened or of getting others into trouble who knew it had let it happen.
It didn't work out with my fiance and so I moved back home 3 months later and began attending every meetings without fail (I still believed it was the truth at that time) I applied for reinstatement about 6 months later by writing a short note to the body of elders, They met with me (same 3 elders that were on JC), telling me that I had 'used' my ex-fiance, but declined my application because I hadn't "righted my wrong", though they didn't tell me how exactly I was supposed to do that.
After a while I worked out what I had to do, so after having located my ex-fiance (not an easy task) I apologized to her for 'using' her (she was surpirsed to hear from me and didn't think I had anything to apologize for - go figure). I then reapplied for reinstatement in January 1998 and the announcement was made at the meeting the next month. The congregaton clapped when it was announced, even though they weren't supossed to (lol), and the elder that made the announcement also detailed what my restrictions were, which I had never known to be the norm (has anyone else heard of this?)
The funny thing was that after my reinstatement, my book study conductor was assigned to study key chapters of the Knowledge book with me, though nothing we studied had anything to do with what led up to me sinning in the first place (i.e. giving up on doing the right thing because I always felt bad about myself and could never measure up to the Witness I thought I had to be), nor was I asked what I needed help with. I could tell the elder was abit bothered to have to study with me and not surprisingly after a couple of months he ased if I felt that I still needed the study. I didn't want to take up any more of the guy's time so I told him I was fine.
Wow, this turned ou to be along post (lol), sorry guys :)
Owen.
