by Mysterious 11 Replies latest jw friends
Were you ever in a fight when you were a JW? How about now that you have left?
Those of you who are Christian now do you feel that turning the other cheek is still the right thing to do or that sometimes there is a good reason to fight? If you aren't a Christian has your concept towards fighting changed now that you have left.
It depends - are you talking about the cheeks on your face? Okay seriously.. This imagery of a martial arts scene where only one guy is "fighting" kind of pictures my idea. The whole point is you may respond, but rather than thinking (if that happens at all) in terms of fighting where you throw fists around think of the end result you want to achieve in the engagement, and you leave yourself open to different ways you might go about achieving it. That's all about strategy and skill, and even if a physical confrontation is involved it is not based on the typical narrow view of fighting. The physics of a typical fight involves a lot of wasted energy neutralized against each other, which gets you nowhere, whereas using strategy involves making things work for you. Work smarter rather than harder, yadda yadda..
Let me put it this way - trying to adhere to some ideal that fighting is always good or bad would probably involve a bit of inner struggle within yourself when the other person clearly wronged you wouldn't it? So why would you fight with yourself like that?
Sorry I guess I should also ask are you talking about physically fighting, because isn't that scripture supposed to refer to when you are insulted?
I was an extremely passive person coming out of the JWs. I'm not sure if it was the whole "turn the other cheek" concept, or part of being a female non-person in the Org. It made for an extremely bad 10 year streak, where I let everyone walk all over me just because I could never disagree or stand up for myself. I've learned a few things since then, including standing up for myself and not letting people push me around (for the most part, I still have my cowardly moments), which has made me a much happier person.
As far as physically fighting, I would still avoid that if at all possible. I just think there's other ways to resolve things, and having more muscles doesn't prove anything.
Don't mean to post so much but I don't know when I'll be back. Basically, even if you're just having an argument with someone it's the same thing - it's a total waste of energy. You can tell even when someone is making a lot of good points if there's this oppositional attitude going on, can't you? That will more than likely make the other person defensive whereas they are more likely to hear your point if their guard is down. Again, TOTAL WASTE. Not only might it not get what you want, it might even be counterproductive.
I was more referring to actual physical fighting but I do like the twist to include arguing as well.
educ8self: What if it did stand a very good chance of getting you what you wanted? If it wasn't futile then would it be okay? And how about fighting back if they are smearing your character? If you didn't argue back might it not be that a lot of people would think it was all true?
Effervescent: Discretion is often the better part of valor, but good to hear you stand up for yourself now and are not just a "doormat dub".
Yes, I was in a fight as a JW, with another JW as a matter of fact. Other than that, I never said boo
Since leaving, my view has changed from the turned cheek philosophy; I respond in kind. Showing that you stand your ground and are prepared to go if they "bring it" whether it be with words or fists is better than letting them walk all over ya. Usually it's only words. Like most animals, it's just a big show anyways.
My concept has always been if you can avoid a fight then do so. As I told my children if someone calls you a name you can possibly walk away. But if someone hits you, you need to defend yourself.
Don't go out looking for fights and starting fights, but protect yourself by all means necessary.
As a JW - I got into fights in grade school, I always fought back, never went home crying because I was beat up. By the time I got to 4th grade, no one picked on me because they knew I'd fight back. This other Jdub girl would never fight back, she got beat up all through elementary, middle and high school!
nj
Mysterious:
As far as turning the other cheek in the 'world', that depends on how minor the infraction and why it was done. In this world you have to choose your battles and sometimes you overlook things because I think it is just plain bad for your health to make issues about everything. Sometimes it is not in your best interest to react at all - such as with road-rage incidents. Why incite somebody to violence?
As far as turning the other cheek in the organization, the same rules applied to some degree UNLESS what the person was doing to me was because of faulty policies in the religion which led some people to believe they could overstep their boundaries and get away with anything. This I did not forgive.
LHG
(I agree with educ8self here)
Still when it comes to that :
Physically : Well I'm not into giving the other cheek ... I'd rather run away or kick asses ... Sorry I'm not ready yet for that ... give me a thousand years to get there ...Verbally : it depends ... if there is something to defend I will just because I want to, otherwise I can turn the other cheek as much as I want too either (I mean do not expect me to always turn the other cheek you might get a slap too, with or without insult) but truly I don't think that insulting people really helps in any matter.
