Hi, My name is Alison and i am having a very hard time to accept what is going on in my life. Hopefully anyone that can help me can certainly will receive much more from Jehovah….. also i find by writing about my story can help other individuals going through the same thing can help make them to make wise decisions in life.... I am 21 years old and my ex boyfriend is 25 years old . We were going out for one year and three months which is unfortunate it could not last longer. When we meet he was baptized as a Jehovah Witness but did not practice it. During that time it was all about us and what we were going to do to better our life as partners and individuals. Little by little the thought of both our religion were always coming up . We were not sure how we would raise a family when we both were taught differently. At this point it was complicating for us to be strong with the relationship and our love for each other was just so strong. He was the man i wanted to marry and the person i did see myself with , his feelings were the same but what was playing back and fourth in his head is that i was not a Jehovah Witness, i was raised as a catholic and attended a catholic school for 13years of my life. The Catholics religion did not answers all my question that i would as about God. I knew alot but did not know why i had to practice the traditions my religion. i just did it because it was what i was taught since a little girl. I always had a strong passion to know more about God and where he came from but as the time when i was with my boyfriend at the time was not ready to take up into a new religion so quick.. i also wanted to do on my own and not get pushed in to a religion i was not ready to commit to. When i was with my bf he would constantly tell me to have studies with his mom but i was not ready ...after that i told his mom that i would take studies but i did it for the wrong reasons... i found that i was just doing it to please both of them even though i was really interested in what she was teaching.. Like i said and told him i was not ready and he wasnt either.. After some time about 1 year he told me he needed something in his life but i did not understand what he meant until he said he needed Jehovah in this life. My first reaction was, "who is Jehovah?" i was confused. All my life i did not know Gods name. i understood and i had told him i was behind him 100% but it was not all he wanted, My bf wanted me to get into being a witness as well. That was a point in my life in which i was not sure what to do . i could either follow his path because i did not have a strong religion of my own or tell him he is asking for too much and walk away from the love we had shared together. i did not know what to do i had no one to understand my feelings and pain i was going through. 1 year and 3months had passed which we broke up and now its been about 3month in which can not stop thinking what a great relationship we had and how grateful i am to have meet and been with such a good guy. Throughout those 3 months of break i had faith and expectation that we were going to be together and live happily ever after with a beautiful family we were so anxious about having. That man made me the happiest i have ever been in my life. We would talk but not as much because he couldn’t ……I feel like his elders did not approve of me and did such a job in influencing him to move on….. I was ok with him going back but he was just not allowed to see me or talk but I had no closure , he didn’t want to tell me he couldn’t see or talk to me again because they said I was in the past……he ended up meeting other brothers and sisters which in just a few days ago i had found out that he has moved on by speaking with other girls in his congregation which made me very upset to think that such a strong thing like religion can influence some ones way of thinking.. he is now talking to a Jehovah witness to get to know which make me crazy to think he can move on so fast and just say that he does not see us in the future anymore…… I know its because I was not a Jehovah witness and now I guess that girl has more privilege because she found out the truth b4 me…I am very much heart broken and still in love .. now im just focus in school and in getting closer to Jehovah …. I have been studying for about 3months and I love it … I was just too late!.... .....I hope who ever hears my story can find some positive advice or can leave a comment that can help me understand more about this new religion I myself is looking into. i can take constructive criticism as well. i think its important in know everything b4 giving a valid opinion on things.. Thanks any question I am very open to answer… my quesions to a jehovah witness: why did his elders not let me have any contact with me? is there a way he and i can get back together now that i am studying? what are the rules in dating?
I need advice or answeres.....help please....
by LouiseAlly 18 Replies latest jw experiences
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Chameleon
He will always love his religion more than you.
Do you really want to be with someone like that?
The elders persuaded him because you were "worldly" and if you didn't convert, you would be good as dead in Armageddon.
Shows what bs it is.
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Mrs. Witness
Take it from one who knows (my hubby is JW, I'm not)...run, don't walk, to the nearest door. It will hurt now, but it will hurt more later if you stay involved.
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sweetface2233
Sweetheart, take it from a girl who was raised in this religion, OK...they do not have the truth! Look into the defining characteristics of a CULT and you will see how the JWs mirror them. Please do A LOT of research on the origins and changes in the religion, as well as all of the hypocricy and cover ups. Keep reading the discussion board and informing us of your thoughts. Ask TONS of questions...question EVERYTHING!!!!!!!
He did you a favor! You are very young and you can easily move on from this. Don't take him "talking" to a JW girl personally. He is trying to move on as well and she keeps him busy.
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AK - Jeff
Slow down the horses, Nelly!
You are in love. He is a Jw and therefore can't be in love with you. He now is moving on. And then you elect to start believing his goofy religion?
Does that about sum it up?
Please, before you commit to this religion, possibly in some emotional effort to retreive what was lost, examine, examine, examine.
Jehovah's Witnesses do not have the truth. Period. I thought they did, and committed the first 48 years of my life to the group. When I elected to leave for good cause, they hunted me down, threatened to disfellowship me, and so I disassociated from them. In so doing, none of the people whom I considered friends for better than 30 years will now speak with me - it is called religious shunning.
There are major doctrinal problems with the religion, sex abuse scandals they will never tell you about, eithical and moral issues they will hide from you. This is no religious panacea. There is plenty here to help you on JWD. Other sites can give you details about these matters too. Look hard - do not leap.
Welcome to the forum.
Jeff
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BizzyBee
Louise,
Versions of your story pop up here just about every week. The advice, from lots and lots of us is, RUN!
RUN away as fast as you can and do not look back!
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choosing life
Witnesses are not allowed to date "worldly" people. He was being unfaithful to his religion (not God) when he was with you. Be careful that your heart does not get you trapped in an abusive cult trying to get him back. It probably won't happen. He is trying to put that time behind him and probably wants a Witness girl to salve his consciense.
In the meantime, you may want to look at moving on too. If you choose to study this religion, do it from all sides. Read on this board and google for more information. A good question to ponder on is why he was not allowed to even talk with you so suddenly? Why are children and parents not allowed to talk with one another for life if one chooses to belong to a different religion after being raised a Witness?
Be careful because they have a way of making you think you are really loved until you get baptized, it's called love bombing. Look up some info on cults too. That will explain much of what you are experiencing.
Best wishes to you!
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isaacaustin
LoiseAlly,
PLEASE read what I have to say carefully. YOU are the lucky one here. I persoanlly was raised a JW. I was never baptized. I married an inactive JW several years ago. She bacame active again 2 yrs ago. It has been extremely up and down since, and quite difficult with our conflicting beleifs and two young kids. Yes, he did love you BUT the organization controls his thinking. MANY MANY marriages have been ruined by the org when one spouse realizes the orgaization does not have the truth and has an extreme history of false prophecies of the end coming- announcing specific years in God's name. They have MANY scandalous coverup, flip-flops of doctrine and a careful examination of their own publications prove undoubtedly that they are not God's org.
I can tell you from personal experience that the organization (not God, not the Bible, but what the org is currently saying) comes above your spouse- right or wrong.
Please research the history of the organization, please do this for yourself. There are many on this board who would be glad to share WTS lit with you.
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ex-nj-jw
Please run very fast away from this man and this organization. They DO NOT have the truth and you will be miserable if you get tangled up in it.
He has done you a huge favor by moving on, you are young and can find someone that will love you for you and not what religeous organization you belong to.
nj
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lesterd
Active or inactive the moral code he was rasied with, he betrayed, now that he has had his fling with a worldly girl he can go back to his little holier than tho JW girls, not meaning to be inpertant, were you intimate? If so then he is the quilty party in that and the congregation should judge him for it, they are good at that, you are not because you dont come under their jurisdiction. If you make the mistake of following through with the witnesses, you will find that you will always have the stigma of you prier life and relationship with him, and then it will take you years to find the skeletons on the JW closet, and what an emptiness you will feel then. This is what this whole board is about....filling the emptiness..understanding the betrail..searching for the truth.
I wish you love and peace of mind.
Dave