Don't feel bad. It has taken me 4 years to say "bless you" after someone sneezes automatically and it still feels a bit weird. It gets easier with time.
When will the knee jerk reactions stop?
by Bobbi 17 Replies latest jw friends
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sweetface2233
I start singing Christmas songs in August too.
Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum
I celebrate my birthday the ENTIRE month of April and start my Christmas shopping in July. In fact, I called my step-mom this morning and told her what I wanted for Christmas this year. I've got 30 years of living to make up for...I'm going to have 30 times the fun for a while!
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changeling
I've only been fading for a year. I"m still not "normal". But maybe that's just me.
changeling
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greendawn
That was really nice of your neighbour, I gather you didn't say those words and turn down the wonderful kindness of a fellow human being.
When will the programming finally get deleted? That also depends on how long you were in and exposed to their propaganda and how long you have been out. Reading a lot on their history and doctrines will help get rid of it faster. -
flipper
It takes time to get those witness thoughts out of your head. I've been out 4 years now and my knee jerks don't happen anymore. I vote, celebrate holidays without blinking, and do things normal people in the world do. It just will take some time away from it for you. Hang in there
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loosie
So when will these automatic reactions stop?
It takes some time for the voices in your head to stop.
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brunnhilde
Try and remember that it took a long time to get as thoroughly sucked in as you did and it'll take a while to get over it too. Try not to get frustrated or angry with yourself (btw, I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you!) I think I hate it the most when I call it "the truth." I almost choke every damn time!
brunn
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WTWizard
These are not ordinary habits. You have been hypnotically programmed to not believe in Santa and the other holidays and that other religions are all bad. Also, if you were raised in the Tower, you likely did not get any proper training on how to properly celebrate holidays. Every word about Christmas you heard has to do with how bad it is: telling children lies about Santa (and it's OK for them to lie about criminal cases in court to protect the Mother Organization), pagan, worshiping the sun, etc. Never did you get to watch the Christmas specials.
Oddly enough, if anyone is totally at a loss on how to celebrate Christmas because they have spent their whole lives in the Tower, watching those Christmas specials is a good start. You will need some good tutorials on how to properly set up a Christmas tree, since you have only been told not to. (I don't, however, recommending using 80 boxes of lights on a Christmas tree unless you have circuits for 1,600 watts or are using LED lights). There are also a lot of suggestions on holiday recipes, decorating, and other traditions that you can start on the Web. Two sources that sell Christmas decorations all year round (and have very good merchandise and delivery) are Bronners and Christmas Mouse.
Getting deprogrammed is the bigger challenge. You were programmed to believe that Jehovah would destroy you merely for looking at and enjoying the efforts of others in setting up for the holidays. And many a "Bah! Humbug!" will likely come out of your mouth for a while. But, remember when you were in the Tower and had the occasional swear word? It is the same principle at work. Not that you need punishment when you slip. Rather, you just surround yourself with pro-Christmas material. Even if you don't believe in Santa Claus, it still makes for a good story line. And even for those who are atheist or antitheist, Christmas is a good way to break up the routine while firmly establishing yourself as out of the Tower.
Whether you are honoring Jesus or wish only to give the Watchtower a slap in the face, just do it. It will be awkward at first. But, each time you take another step, it gets easier. If you are new, starting with winter-themed decorations like pine cones, snowflakes, icicles, and the lights and tinsel might be easier. Then work up to Santa Claus, mistletoes, and reindeer ornaments and, if you wish, to items like crosses, angels, and Nativity scenes. Those stars also make a good transition since they are part winter items and part religious (the Movarian Star symbolizes the Star of Bethlehem). Just remember, if you don't at least attempt to do it, the Puketower programming is likely to stay that much longer.
Oh yes, there is nothing wrong with starting the Christmas songs in August (or even July or earlier) if doing so will help deprogram you from the Watchtower Society. They are available from both Napster and Rhapsody all year round, and you can borrow a CD (assuming you have any worldly friends; remember the Tower preaches against that, too) or buy a few. Most larger record stores have at least a small selection of Christmas music all year, and they can special order them. Whatever works, keep doing it.