The JW mindset about US is that once we get out, we seek to do all sorts of evil, immoral, outlandish things. WE once had that mindset when we were in the borg. The truth is that at the end of the day we really just want to live, just want to be happy and live without prejudice and hatred.
This is outrageous
by Mincan 14 Replies latest jw friends
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joannadandy
It can be overwhelming at first, but I would sugest a shift in focus. For my own sanity, so this is what worked for me, I had to stop dwelling on - "oh man they totally f*ed me up" and instead look at is starting fresh.
To me there are two ways to look at starting fresh. The first and easiest to slip into is - "HOLY CRAP" or "Wow - I get to start fresh". I think we all at first felt the - "my god what do I do now" deer in the headlights feelings. At least I know I did. It's not like you have to rethink one aspect of your life, it's an entire reinvention that can take place. For me it was a great big ball of yarn unraveling. If A wasn't true, then was B true? If B isn't true, what about C? My god -- how do I feel about things if C isn't true? Can I replace it - do I need to replace it?" Of course that's overwhelming, but for me my saving grace was - I get to start over. I get to really spend the time to get to know myself and what I believe is more important. As soon as I had unraveled my little yarn ball existance, I was able to see the world as my playground. I could try anything I wanted, I could entertain ideas and philosophies I never would have opened my mind to before - to me instead of feeling afraid and limited I finally felt free.
So sure, you're sitting there with a big pile of yarn in your lap. You may not know exactly what you're going to do with it, you've never really worked with yarn before, you're not even sure what options are available to you yet, but the beauty part is - really you can do whatever the hell you want with it. And no matter what you choose to do with it - it's going to be by your own hands with your own desires. Meh, yeah - it can be scary -- what if you screw it up? But again - it's your making. To me - that ownership was a powerful feeling I'd never had before. It could be ugly - but at least it's mine, and I had a hand in it. Whatever it turns out to be it is no longer just some lumpy ball that was handed to me by someone with only one option of sitting a tightly woven ball.
I really believe that if you can look at this as a gift you've been given, an incredible opportunity that most people never get the chance to have - it can be an tremendously healing journey for you. How many people get to remember their very first Christmas? But I do - I have vivid precious memories. I think we have an advantage in that we can have this new fresh start, if we want it, that most adults never have to entertain. Sure our hands are forced a little bit - but I really feel lucky. I think we all have the potential to be able to understand ourselves and what we really need/want better than most others because we are in a unique position to experience.
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Mincan
Thanks Penny, I am having massive panic attacks all the time now...I can't take the marijuana anymore because I get these panic attacks that are the worst experiences in my life. I become trapped in my mind, even now when I'm not high anymore, and it's really paralyzing. I'm so scared. And when I feel that I'm going to go crazy, my heart now is pumping like 2x fast... yikes...
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penny2
I am having massive panic attacks all the time now
That must be frightening, Mincan. The panic attacks may continue even when you stop the marijuana but it's important that you lay off the drink and drugs.
Are you getting help for the panic attacks? Don't be embarrassed to seek help.
penny2
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Mincan
HHAAHAHAHAm U only nweed better weed LD
hahahaha