this is my first time on this forum, but i need some input on a really confusing situation and i thought that this would be the best place to get it. this is a long story, but there is much that needs to be explained and i really need to get this off my chest.
in Dec. of 2005 i was a regular at an 80's dance club. i would go there on weekends not to meet or go home with anyone, but just to hang out with friends and dance (dancing is among my favorite of hobbies). one night a young man came in and seemed to take almost immediate notice of me. we made small talk but that was as far as it went. the very next night he came back hoping i would be there. again we talked but nothing else. the next week he was back again and i jokingly told him that if he came back the next night i would have to give him my number. well sure enough he was there the following evening looking for me. it was new years eve. he told me that he didn't celebrate new years (at that time i didn't know why) but really wanted my number and so i gave it to him. we talked for a while after the club closed and realized that we were both in a very unique situation. we were both seperated from our spouses but still living with them as roomates, me for financial reasons and he because of his young son. he told me that he was born and raised as a JW and that was how he met his wife. she was a sister in his congregation. she was 8 years older than him and he married her feeling that was what he was supposed to do. they had been married 12 years and had never really been emotionally close to each other and over the years she had grown cold toward him. well probably against my better judgement we started dating. it didn't take long for the relationship to become serious and for us to fall in love. he treated me like a queen and made love to me in a way that i had only ever imagined. we started spending more and more time together and he started talking marriage. according to him i was everything that he ever wanted. something however was not right. he had met my family and spent time getting to know them. he had become a part of my world. on the other hand i felt that he had two seperate lives. one that involved me and one that i was no part of. i never met any of his family other than one of his brothers. after 9 months he started to get more distant and seemed to pull away. although he told me that it was the hardest thing he'd ever have to do he broke up with me. he said that even though he loved me and wanted me, he to be a better father to his son and get back in good standing in his congregation. i was heartbroken but knew i had to let him go. 2 months later he started coming around the club again. he had missed me and wanted to spend time with me. he wanted to divorce to be free to be with me but didn't want to ask me to wait for him. after 3 more months with me his wife decided to file for divorce on the grounds of infidelity. suddenly he felt that he needed to try to do the right thing and save his marriage. he wanted to do right in Gods eyes and be a positive image for his son. again my heart was broken. 3 months passed during which we spoke on occasion but didn't see each other. in April he surprised me by coming to the club to see me. he and his wife were unable to reconcile and divorce proceedings were to start at the end of April. he was confused and was afraid of the change about to take place. He started talking about how he knew that it was not right to be with me but that i made him want me which was very hard for him. he talked about the paradise on earth that he wanted to see and that he would have to make himself get over me. i didn't see him again until mid June at which time he dropped a bomb on me. He had moved into his own place at the end of April when the Divorce started and by mid May he had fallen in love with his best female friend that he had only ever thought of as a sister and was dating her (she, like me is not a JW). he told me that it had taken him by surprise but that he was very happy. he also told me that he didn't think that he and i could be friends because i still had feelings for him and since he had a girlfriend thought it would be best for us to not contact each other anymore. i was left in a total state of shock and became an emotional wreck to the point of having to be put on antidepressants. I had loved him so much. i guess what i want to know is why, knowing the guilt he felt being with a "worldly" girl like me and knowing the pain and heartache that i went through, would he less than a month into his divorce start seeing another "worldly" girl and talking about how in love and happy he is with her knowing that being with her is against all of his beliefs? Does he not care that he is going to cause another woman heartache and pain? She is a young single mother of a 6 year old girl and i know that she won't convert to being a witness. Why would he play with other peoples emotions that way, loving someone so much and then suddenly not loving them anymore? When i first started seeing him i told a friend of mine about him being a witness. my friend told me point blank to get out quick! i wish now that i had listened.
I know that this was a long story and i thank any of you who made it through to the end of it. i feel a bit better just typing it all down. i just need help in trying to understand. any insight i get is greatly appreciated.