I have become much less Witless-like during the past several years. Back in the 1990s, I moved so I could unofficially switch congregations (that is, officially belong to the same one but occasionally go to the other side). And, once that happened, I started blowing the meetings off altogether since I knew that each side would think I went to the other side. But I continued going out in service, if for only an hour a month and often dummy service at that. I also was afraid of anything Christmasy.
Since 2005, however, I decided enough is enough. I stopped going to the meetings altogether after the Crapmorial of that year, and stopped service totally in June 2005 (I went out but did not report it for June). After that, I shredded all remaining Puketower and Asleep magazines and Kingdumb Miserys. Later, I rearranged my closet so the suits were not prominent and threw out suit clothing that was in bad condition. And I defined bad condition as holes in the pockets, one or more attempts at repairing crotch seams, bad rips in the linings, stains that were beyond hope, or holes anywhere in the fabric that were not supposed to be there.
Also in 2005, I got some more worldly items. The Puketower bounds were put away and replaced with science toys that had been more or less banned because they might make one think. I got Kevin Trudeau's book of natural cures (which I recommend, if only to get you to think on your own--I also recommend finding at least three backup sources, preferably one that bashes the book, just so you can practice forming your own opinions and beliefs on subjects of importance). What that did was to get me to see how unhealthy the Kingdumb Hells really are--and why I got those headaches at a$$emblies (no, you don't have to do the things in the books if you don't want. If the book only gets you to think for yourself about things and ultimately about the religion, it will be sufficient).
Beyond that, I totally withdrew from the religion. Though I was not willing to do Christmas in 2005, I did not do any meetings or service either. I became inactive and effectively disassociated (though I didn't send the letter for hope that they would waste time and have to think--anything that forces one to actually think has benefit, and if they think, they might soon wake up). And for the Crapmorial of 2006, I got a Ouija board instead of going. Then I got one of those famous airmail letters from that "secret society" that the Watchtower Society insists on bashing.
When I opened that up, I found out why they bashed that society. In it was some group that had studied Aristotelian philosophy, and included some of the freest thinking people on the planet. Reading through that, I realized that the only necessary rules were no initiatory force, coercion, or fraud. They made frequent reference to Ayn Rand, and ultimately that was what made me decide that the Puketower Society was holding me back in every way. That Tower was the total antithesis; they banned independent thinking instead of trying to think using reality and not external authority.
Once I read that, I decided to give Christmas a trial run in 2006. And this year I got a full Christmas tree and the whole nine yards. So, the holidays are no longer a stumbling block. In all likelihood, there are still areas I need to purge from the Tower, and I have seen that even pre-Tower, there were authorities that did all they could to stop me from thinking independently. That is probably going to be even more work for me than undoing the Tower damage. But, as of now, I have no known remnants of the Tower except a deep hatred for the organization and the desire to expose them for their role in closing my mind and ruining opportunities for me to advance my life.
