THINKING OF FAKING IT GOING FOR REINSTATEMENT

by JapanBoy 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    Born and raised in the borg.

    I haven't posted for some time. I got divorced from my JW wife, of 25 years, after living with another woman for almost 1.5 years [knew her for 3 years]

    The divorce that was my doing was last Dec. 06. The divorce went through but all the financial settlements have yet to be agreed on. This March 4th, 07 the other woman dumped me as I would not marry her .......... guess I never did really love her in retrospect.

    In the meantime my JW brothers, and JW father did everything they could to kill my business, which I owned only 30% of with my JW father. I lost my income back in Dec.'06 [company stopped paying me] and are really living hand to mouth right now with all sorts of credit problems....and no job prospects. I miss my wife and my kids who are in their late teens.

    So I lost my wife and kids and my business which was quite successful.

    Right now I'm just barely making it living in a rooming house. I have caused all sorts of financial problems for my ex - wife and we will have to sell the house anyways and make a downwards move into some other living arrangements. The house is one we built in 1999 and is huge and beautiful. fortunately my ex-wife landed a reasonably good job and maintains the mortgage for now.

    Before moving in with the other woman I had tried leaving her twice over a three year period and going back to put it together with my ex wife....and I failed each time.....couldn't do it and always missed the other woman.....that is over now.

    While I dislike the meetings, the service, the boring stuff I am thinking of asking my ex-wife to take me back, remarry and then go for re-instatement. Then after reinstatement do a slow fade so at least I'll have my family back. I'm really down right now 50 years of age and having a hard time trying to put it all together find work etc.....going back to her would be at 1st for love...i miss her, 2nd to see my kids and 3rd as a financial thing.

    Another thing is I smoke regularily and enjoy it....that's another worry........ as I like it and my ex hates smoking....even though I know it's bad for me........I was always a closet smoker even as an MS. Obvioulsy as going back for reinstatement I would have to quit or go back to smoking only occassionally while hiding.

    I just wish that this religion wasn't involved in my life.......I'm sure I'd still be married to my ex wife now. I haven't talked to my ex yet about putting it back together or trying but she does say that she still cares for me and that I have many friends [JW's] that care about me too......of course none have them have called me or talked to me since I was DF'd 2.5 years ago for admitting to the adultery

    Don't know what to do right now? any advice

    JB.......don't want to live in poverty...and miss my family

  • changeling
    changeling

    Please make sure your motives are pure before you go back to your wife (if she'll have you).

    changeling

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    Changeling what would you feel are pure motives for returning?

  • Mary
    Mary

    JB, you may want to talk to Gumby. Your situation sounds alot like what he went through and his faking his reinstatement in order to get his family back.

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/127570/1.ashx

    http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/127697/1.ashx

  • FreeGirl2006
    FreeGirl2006

    Japanboy--love should be the motivating factor in getting back with your ex-wife.

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    Thanks Mary I read throught the Gumby threads..........I didn't see anything about Gumby's situation though just comments that he was going back... Like him more than 95% of my family is in the org. I just am afraid that I won't be able to do it.

    JB

  • Cellist
    Cellist

    Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I guess your first step is to talk to your ex-wife and see if she's interested in remarrying you.

    Cellist

  • changeling
    changeling

    Is that a picture of Mao Zedong on your avatar? Isn't he Chinese?

  • JapanBoy
    JapanBoy

    yes it's mao.....don't know why I used it....just like Any Warhol art I guess.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Well, Japan Boy, I can certainly understand the difficult situation that you're in, and if you really think you can do this successfully, then by all means go ahead and give it a shot.

    It's miserable being rejected by family and friends and having them destroy you financially. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I just hope that you don't eventually feel like you're living a lie and haven't been true to yourself.

    All the best, Scully

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