by Thinking of Leaving 28 Replies latest social relationships
I recommend this book:
I wish it had come out when I was dating. I had a boyfriend who led me on for a year and a half. It took that long for me to understand that even though he liked me and going out with me it was never going to progress to marriage or a long term commitment, he just wasn't that into me.
You will live and get through this and love again...hopefully the next time will be with someone who loves you back.
Josie
I'd like to read that book actually..
Hi Mrs Jones and Sassy, thanks for the suggestion, I saw that book on Oprah. Thought it might be interesting to read. The thing is this guy treats me like gold, I get the impression I'm very precious to him, you see he also suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder and has a very hard time talking to people, he has an especially hard time talking about his feelings.
Hey,
I got the book, He's Just not all that into you.
Its amazing the mental gymnastics we go through to stay, keep, hold on to a relationship.
Untill you have had a really great one, its hard to guage whats not just crap.
Cute book, Laughed at alot of it and alot of it was like
Wow, I could have had a V8
purps
I have to interject a thought. Granted that a year is a long time. He should know how he feels,
but he's being honest and withholding the 3 words so lightly.
You just said "I love you." to him. He just heard it from you. Now, you are mad that he can't say
it back. Is there a time limit on how soon the 3 words must be reciprocated? Do you show him
what "love" really is by dumping him if he can't reciprocate within days/weeks/months?
If he treats you good, and you think he loves you, just decide how much more to invest in the
relationship based on your goals. Don't dump him over his inability to say 3 words. Many marriages
have one member who doesn't say the words- perhaps that isn't what you want. Still, give him a
chance to realize what a "loving" person you are now that you said the 3 words, and maybe he will
come around to knowing he loves you.
Give the guy a break! Do you really think he doesn't love you? From what you wrote, it doesn't look like you need to take this personally.
Still, give him a chance to realize what a "loving" person you are now that you said the 3 words, and maybe he will come around to knowing he loves you.
I stand by what I said above, but I looked back at your other threads. You have been
debating about leaving this guy for awhile. Your name is not just about the JW's.
Did you mean it when you said you love him, or were you just hoping for some magic?
If you didn't mean it, didn't get the magic- leave.
If you meant it, didn't get the magic- decide (without telling him) how long you will wait
to feel some magic.
It sounds like you are ready to move on. The 3 words are important to you. Even if he
says them without your prodding, he won't say them hardly ever again. Your feelings
are valid.
On the way Out you hit the nail on the head! He said that I always give him mixed signals, one minute wanting to be with him and the next wanting to leave. Since leaving the JW's (only 1 year) I've been so confused and messed up. He's so patient with me though. He often SHOWS that he cares deeply for me, in many many ways. Maybe I'm the one who needs to live up to my words and SHOW I really do love and want to be with him. He said it's hard for him to trust me because I'm so unstable with my emotions.I honestly do love this guy. I have no doubt about that. He's probably the most wonderful man I've ever met! The sex thing is something I think I'm struggling with because of my pass (virgin for 34 years).
How? One step at a time. "First my right foot, then my left foot, right behind the other..."
It hurts, but you will survive. You will move on. You will be happy.
All the best,
changeling
Life is good, friend.
You maybe got a bad slice right now.
You don't have to eat it.
Move on.
There may be something amazingly wonderful right around the corner.
