suicidal friend

by DaCheech 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  DaCheech

  I have not talked to a good witness friend of mine in 3 weeks.

  yesterday, I called and asked if he had not called me due to being mad for some reason (seems like I have to do the calling all the time).

  He told me that he had been severely derpressed, and had comtemplated suicide.

  he's seeing some kind of natural care doctor. I congradulated him on seeking help, but advised him to also talk to mental health doctor.

  He is totally against that!

  He told me that he's only gonna do the following 2 things: 1) take some happy vitamins, 2) try to do more service hours!

  After hearing this, I asked: "hey XXX what is doing more service hours supposed to do?"

  he said "I feel bad internally that I'm only doing 5 hours a month, and I'm well below the national average"

  I don;t know what else to say without exposing myself!!!!
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  bigdreaux

  i say, if that brings him comfort, let him do it. now is not the time to make a statement.
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  AlmostAtheist

  Jesus was being entertained by two women, Mary and Martha I think. One of them (Mary?) was running around doing this and that, and was trying to guilt-trip the other into doing more from a hosting perspective. Jesus said, 'Only a few things are necessary, or even one. She has chosen the better portion.' Perhaps your friend could be reminded of this 'few things, or one' idea and then ask if Jesus would actually want him to work himself into an exhausted depression? If 5 hrs are what he CAN do, would Jesus of the "kindly and light yoke" really demand more?

  Increasing his service can't bring him comfort, because you can never do enough. "Do more" is the goal set for everyone.

  Dave
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  journey-on

  I have no advice for you to give him, but I just wanted to express myself:

  MY GOD!! WHAT THIS CULT OF A RELIGION DOES TO PEOPLE!! They stress out over the pressure to attend five meetings per week, put in a minimum of 10 hrs. in field service per month, strive to pioneer, elder duties or ministerial duties, conducting family bible study, conducting bible studies with interested persons, making return visits, shepherding calls if you're an elder, preparing for talks, studying for lessons, and on and on and on and on~!! All of this on top of your secular job or business supporting your family and your duties maintaining a home and automobile. Where is the time for quality family relaxation and casual recreation?! These are the things that make for strong emotional and mental health.

  No wonder mental illness is rampant in that organization!! Not only is their leadership full of nut cases, the whole R&F are going nuts!!
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  John Doe

  We've learned a lot about depression in the last few years. Often times it is a result of a chemical imbalance--a physical condition that can be treated. I don't see how pointing this out will conflict with current WT teachings. You might make the analogy of a broken leg or diabetes and show there is little difference between treating these and treating depression.
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  monophonic

  if he is definitely a suicide risk, call the police and try to get him hospitalized.

  it won't be pretty, but it's better than a dead friend.
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  changeling

  Do your best to encourage him to see his general practitioner. He does not have to see a psychiatrist to get the help he needs.

  changeling
• 

  lonelysheep

  I like Almost's advice.

  Then accompany that with Changeling's.

  Do your best to encourage him to see his general practitioner. He does not have to see a psychiatrist to get the help he needs.

  Hopefully he will get some medical help. The GP can prescribe meds, I think.
• 

  samiam2b

  In my work I've taken care of many people who were depressed and others who were suicidal. I am not a mental health provider- however it is my opinion that he is not actually suicidal. Mentioning the thought he is really just asking for help in most cases. Ask him if he is thinking about hurting himself, right now. Many truly suicidal people don't tell you in advance.

  In some states, just stating that you have thoughts of harming yourself is enough for a healthcare provider or a cop to hold you against your will, for a day or two. That gives them time to evaluate you to see if you really are a risk and to get a mental health provider involved.

  If this statement is recent and you are concerned about it, you can try to get him to go to his doctor or to the emergency room. GPs may know a little but they aren't the right kind of doctor for this. They may try to give medications but the mental health providers are in a better position for the initial diagnosis and longer term follow-up. That is probably the most important part... the long term follow-up.

  If those things are not going happen, maybe he would consider one of the hotlines. Through his work he may have access to Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) and/or referral services. There are a lot of resources available in most parts of the country-but not everywhere.

  Feel free to PM me if you have more specific questions.

  samiam2b
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  LearningToFly

  Sorry to hear about your friend. He really needs to see a professional, hopefully someone can convince him its really important.

  Depression is very serious, I know as I have dealt with it for several years and still struggle with it. I have though taken time to educate myself fully on the dynamics of it and do know that there is a fine line between thinking suicidal thoughts and not acting on them, and the fatal side.. acting on them. Without professional help or medication, many will cross that fine line.

  Keep an eye on your friend, if you find you are truly worried, do what another poster suggested and call suicide prevention or the police. I have done so before.. it is better to get someone help unwillingly than to lose them because they refused help.

  LTF