They are trying to tell me that my "reward" for screeching around all day for the misery, going to all those fxxxing boasting sessions, and giving up everything that's fun is living forever CELIBATE?
Quick. Get my Christmas tree and decorations out--I have no time to lose in worshiping the sun (and the Devil) to avoid this horrible fate. Get out my Ouija board. The Tarot cards, too. I'll take my horoscope with it, too. A few dozen scratch-offs, too. I am going to need the filthiest rap music I can get--along with Christmas music. And I would like same-day delivery on that computer so I can get online pronto, and look at (and join, hell even start) an apostate forum. Anything I can do to get disfellowshipped and make sure I get destroyed at Armageddon so I won't have to face the of everlasting celibacy.
Hell, due to Jehovah's shutting me down from attracting the opposite sex, I know I am going to grow old and die celibate and with no prospects (perfect for those idiots in the Puketower to attempt to recapture me, since I can "serve without distraction"). But at least I won't have forever to have to look at the of nothing but other men and realize it's MY fault that the sisters all got destroyed, or being sequestered from any of them.
Life Is a Lemon and I Want My Money Back.