How long out? Why still here?

hillary_step

Hello,

Some posters to this Board, who perhaps are bored posters, have been out of the WTS for a long while, some for decades. I think I understand why you still feel the need to meet here but just wished to hear from you personally.

How long have you been out? Why do you still feel the need to discuss and involve yourselves with JW issues? How has you life been since leaving?

Thank you in anticipation of some interesting answers. Fred and YK, as you are not really JW's by WTS definitions, you may join in this conversation if you so wish.

Best regards - HS

edited for grammatical piggies

radar

HS
Billygoat raised this question earlier.

I know there are many posters to this board who have been posting on JW topics for many years.
Many have benefited from reading their posts, including myself.
Those years have obviously left an indellable mark on our consciousness.
I believe the psychological bond we had, when we were with the (Borg)
now seeks a home with those of us, who find themselves outside the Borg Org.
In other words, that cultlike interdependency is still with us.
Scarry aint it?

Radar

drahcir yarrum

hillary_step:

I really quit believing in 1984 after reading Crisis of Conscience. But like many, I had a difficult time with what I saw in the
WTS for years. I was just afraid to speak about it openly for obvious reasons. Like some others who visit this site, I was at Brooklyn Bethel and saw things and attitudes while there that bothered me.

I discovered this board back in May of June of this year. I am amazed at the similarities in people's lives who visit here that resulted in them being out of the organization. Some were treated like garbage by the elders. Some began to question WTS teachings and were threatened by the elders. For me, it was mainly the lack of any real "Christian love" that the society claims to display, but never really does. So, I visit to read what others here think and have been through.

P.S. There are some very bright and funny people here, so it is also entertaining. Conversly, there is Fredhall.

As for my life now, it's fine. I have a good non-JW wife and 3 good non-JW kids.

Dan B

"P.S. There are some very bright and funny people here, so it is also entertaining. Conversly, there is Fredhall."

I personally look forward to reading Fredhall's little incoherent one-liners. They make me laugh. Keep it up Fred!!

Dan

fancyschmancy28

hillary_step-radar and drahcir yarrrum both brought up why I am out and why I find this web site very interesting. My family, on my mothers side, are all JW. At a recent family gathering, many tried to get me back in. I like the reassurance that I am not the only person out there who went through some trying times. Everyone has similar stories and it really helps me to read about thier issues. I relate to many. This web site, as well as the related links, has given me some valuable information to debate with.

I have been out, unofficially, for approximately 17 years. I stopped going out in service, stopped going to meetings etc. I do not recall any effort on the part of my family or the elders to try to get me back. That is what is strange. I am married to a wonderful catholic gentleman, who is at church right now.

Tina

(((((((hillary)))))
Hope this finds you well! :>
I just spent 30 min on a post for this thread and 'blip' it zapped into cybespace somewhere lol. DOn't ya hate that when that happens.
I'll be brief this time.
In the beginning(now where have I read THAT before? heheheh) even tho working out issues related to cult recovery imagine my surprise and delight to find groups of people(exJW's) who were struggling with many of the same issues I was!
Many folks in the MH field aren't really knowledgable about the cult experience. I always felt some issues were not fully addressed,or understandable to others.
I found these people with a common background which gave an immediate sense of comaraderie.
From their experiences and knowledge,I learned about myself . "What happened'. Why did it happen.How did it happen?
This sent me running down the path of self exploration,new knowledge I never had or even thought of before.They had me running to libraries,universities other people. They understood where I was 'coming from' emotionally psychologically spiritually socially etc.
And in this shared communication,bonds of friendship and love were formed. Some that have transferred into real life.
I found empathy support data and a kick in the butt when I needed it. It's been quite the enlightening journey! I have many interests these days that have nothing to do w/ JW's.These are richer and healthier due to what I've learned and been given here.
I return to share time with the dear friends I have made. I also hope to give back,what was so freely given to me in the above aspects .
Some have become closer than most family.In essence are part of my new family I've chosen in life. It is not out of co-dependency as it was in the WTS. Those relationships were shallow and conditional. Not based on true acceptance of the individual.
No journey of learning and discvery ever end. As in my life out 'there',I continue to learn and grow from the many wonderful empathetic and brilliant folks here. I laugh with them. I cry with them. I get angry. In essence,I feel here,just as I do in real life.
ack,I ramble...
Hillary,I have a question,seems appropos in this thread.
When I see people who have left consider themselves in 'good standing' that to me simply means not DA or DF. I've been gone from the org. several years now.
But I dont think when one becomes inactive after a couple of years that 'good standing' still applies/ It didnt in my cong. Gs meant being active,reporting time etc. It was never applied to walkaways(such as myself) who left with no quarrrel or issues anyone knew about) .I know its another one of their labels but want to understand it better.
I saw some return after several years, and that was an immediate trip to the backroom.Where the elders could 'gauge' their spirituality and most times study again with these returning individuals.
Can you clarify this for me? Was it just my cong? Can anyome just walk back into a cong after afew years like nothing happened? With no study w/ the elders or one appointed by them? In my former cong. good standing meant someone attending mtgs,FS,etc. Those who left for long periods of time were considered spiritually 'weak' by their standards.We actually were warned a few times,to be cautious in association with those returning after long periods of time.I guess that was until the elders were sure of these people again.
See? I'm still learning as new questions continue to arise.
Thanks !luv,Tina

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Introspection

Me, simple. No life.

Actually, it isn't so much that I feel a need to discuss JW issues, I actually don't have the patience to read about all the details. But frankly just like being a JW automatically makes you part of the crowd, likewise being an ex-JW does the same. Of course, there's also that thing we have in common being human beings and all.

BTW, I've been out about 3 years, life is fine, can't say it's exciting and use many exclaimation marks because like I said there isn't much of one, but I'm peaceful and content.

nelly136

18 years out,about 2=3 years ago got internet, tapped charlie russell in out of curiosity....
I have made some really good friends via the internet, some I've had the pleasure of meeting in real time, its not just the jw stuff its the feelings I have in common with other people who've been there and done that too,
I didnt choose to be spawned jw, I dont resent my childhood or even the amount of time I spent in the toilets at the kh having the crap knocked out of me for not sitting still,or that I equated wooden spoons and hairbrushes as a symbol of love 'this hurts me more than it hurts you,but I do it because I love you soooo much!' I thought this was the normal way to bring up children I only had other jw kids to compare it with and quite a few of them were in the toilets at the same time as me.
I dont resent my parents/family for doing what they thought was the right thing, even the becoming a disposable item when I didnt want to be a dub anymore 'we're doing this because we love you'
I do resent a get rich org that breaks up famillies in its bid to control its unpaid workers.
My life has been great since leaving, its had its normal ups and downs that anyone could have happen, but I've made new friends and continue to do so, people who like me for who I am and not what they demand me to be.
I enjoy being here and the people are coooool which is probably why I keep coming back,and if it wasnt for Red and Waiting I'd never have heard of mounting blocks either
nelly

ashitaka

I'm not out for long, but it is interesting to talk to people who understand such a bizzarre past....people can talk about their favorite christmas, or the most wonderful birthday they ever had, or some milestone having to do with proms, lovers, etc.....there seems to be a 20 year lull in my life in which nothing happened. People don't give a damn if I think it was bad; they just don't get the pain of losing out on some of the best years of life. That's why it is nice to be here.

I also agree that Fredhall is a riot.

ashi

Haereticus

hillary_step

I am a newcomer here and do not know of the past history of messages. I was disfellowshipped somewhere around 1970 and have forfotten the exact date as I received a written notice while working abroad.

I have never lost my interest to Bible nor had any hard feelings towards JW's and the organization. As I already worked abroad DF was no big deal - knowingly none of my workmates at Sahara oilfield were JW's. My feelings were not really mixed and had good time to settle.

I am here for just one simple reason and it is this recent incident. Despite of my position outside the organization I felt that the time I served for my neutrality was not wasted. After this recent incident I am unable to feel the same way anymore.

Haereticus

Proper preparation & planning prevents piss poor performance - Awul Dasfilshabeda and Nowaynayda Zheet

How long out? Why still here?

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