I commend you both for your methods. You sound like the kind of friends my wife and I would be drawn to. You're living the love and not trying to impress others with numbers.
Well...what kind of fading techniques have I used?
I had employment and financial problems, so when I finally got a good job again, and it was night shift, and I was missing all the meetings during the week because of it, no one could say anything.
Also, combine that with depression probably due to the employment/financial problems and my growing unease at being a witness, and no one pressed the issue with me when I started missing Sunday, too, and when I became inactive.
The third facet of my fade involved informing a couple elders during a shepherding call about the questionable ways of a couple of the elders and other brothers, i.e., being "stumbled" and then making it known over the next few months that we are visiting other nearby halls to take a break from our own.
All three things happened together over the period of 6 months about 2 years ago.
So far, I've been away from our hall completely for about 1 and a half years. I missed the memorial and 2 consecutive assemblies and the district convention. No elder has said a word, called, stopped by, or anything. I only hear good things from various ones at the hall relayed through my wife, such as "say Hi to your husband and tell him we miss him." She is more than willing to field any questions that any elder may have and has told one in the past not to call, that I don't wish to talk about anything.
So my fade involved the above three things combined with a wife that plays defense for me. Also, it helps to have the support of others in a similar situation. We have had discussions with two other families who have left our home congregation and shared stories. And then there is JWD, an integral part of a successful fade.
