by OnTheWayOut 26 Replies latest jw friends
So many dubs are just misguided, good-hearted people.
OTWO said:
We all had a good time, many of the cong. rank and file saying they "missed me" but not pushing too hard.
That's all I've ever done when seeing an inactive person at a party. "Hey, good to see ya". And that's it. No guilt. No re-recruiting.
It's too bad it can't just be "live and let live". Not gonna happen on an organizational level though. Control is the name of the game.
Thanks for sharing this OTWO.
Open Mind
I like Greendawn's comment about their demands falling so short of their delivering on promises.
People tell me they miss me, too, to which i say, "Well, you know my number and you know where I live." It is a TOTAL sham really.
I frankly DO NOT want to be around dubs. I have grown to loathe the pettiness, the fake smiles, the feigned concern, the obligatory hello.
What do they DO for anyone anyway? How have they EVER helped anyone? What have they ever done for YOU? Who among them has come around to see if you are even ALIVE?
Good riddance to them. Good luck to you.
Isn't it wonderful that there is such an overflow of love coming from Jehovah's people?!
Even if you wanted to go back, they aren't making it easy for you to do so. Great job on the fade, and thanks for sharing this.
People tell me they miss me, too, to which i say, "Well, you know my number and you know where I live." It is a TOTAL sham really.
That's the same with me. True, there are the same few that give me calls every now and then, but according to some, the entire congregation is "so distraught" over my absense. I think the same thing.....almost everyone in the congo has my number, why not give me a call. They act differently around me even if I run into them in public. They get this strange look on their faces....like they can sniff out the apostate on me.
R.F.
It's almost like "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers" and you are one of the few that is still human....All the others are "replacements"--- they have human form but are
devoid of humanity.
With my own threads, I am working on responding to each and every comment.
greendawn, you said it very well: "I am sure you will be pleased to see the last of them. Good riddance."
undercover, it is just a game and I was able to enjoy myself and apply your thought: "it's actually kind of fun
to sit and watch how JWs and elders react..."
anewme, very good thought. I learned a skill, also. I learned how to inflate my own self-asteem and stay
busy while others cleaned.
MadTiger, there just might be more to come very soon.
RollerDave, you said, "Those petty little men are so large in their own minds." So true. If anyone thinks I am
wrong and seeing things that aren't there, please tell me. I am so sure that this whole thing was them not
wanting to "eat" with me, so that their eldership could be questioned. As a dub elder, I would have said, "What's
the problem? He isn't an apostate." While the MS is fully indoctrinated, he didn't have a problem inviting me.
unique1, again- so true when you said, "You can really see the love among them." If anyone remembers my
one year anniversary post, since stepping aside, I have had literally 15 minutes of shepherding by the C.O. and
Zero by these elders. Now, after they did nothing for me, they can't eat with me. I just feel bad that I was one
of them for so long.
Open Mind, yes these are "misguided, good-hearted people." I hold no hatred for these individuals. I know they
are indoctrinated middle-men. If they ever wake up, I will be glad to eat with them.
Zack, I have said, "Well, you know my number and you know where I live" to some of them. That is another
reason I went to this party. The guy did make an effort to see my wife and I socially with no pressure. So many
others try to turn it around by saying, "What about at the meetings?" I have answered, "Did you spend much time
with me at the meetings? No, it's always somewhere else." And it's more like the Stepford Wives in reverse. We
were all perfect dubs and I was replaced with an independent-thinking human. Now they want me back.
R.F., I think my fade was too well timed for them to start treating me like an apostate UP UNTIL NOW. They haven't
heard anything negative about me, but a marking might do it. To be honest, most of them would not get the point of
the marking- they wouldn't tie it to me unless they specifically said something like, "If a brother used to be highly visible
in the congregation, like an elder, and has stopped attending meetings, there is no telling what bad influences are
at work upon him. Such a person that used to be here in the XXX congregation should be considered weak and association
with him should be extremely limited."
That would do wonders to help the wife see their love dry up from her. Maybe my non-JW family could pick up some of
the slack, or her non-JW work associates. I just feel sad that she will have to go through this. Still, I don't see her
blaming me, but rather feeling that the "friends" are not really friends.
Thanks all. Keep it coming. I will try to respond.
Been there done that, even while I was 17 and still forced to sit through the meetings my Mom and Dad would always go eat after the meetings. Myself and a couple of other friends my age who had the same rumors about them that I had about me, would set in one section of the resturaunt and everyone else would sit in another. Generally a couple of weeks later we were invited to the "sin bin" for another commitee meeting. If you are wanting to fade it is tough to continue to go these kind of fuctions. My Opinion only
If you are wanting to fade it is tough to continue to go these kind of fuctions.
okiesooner, I wholeheartedly agree. The problem isn't all that simple. I have this
dub wife who is so social that she wants to argue with me that it is fine to go to these
functions. I mentioned that I ducked the one in someone's home, but she thought I was
paranoid saying it was a bad idea. Now she can see that I wasn't paranoid if they mark
me, or if the invites dry up. I really don't plan to keep going to any of these. I will
probably just go back to "It's a bad idea." Maybe every once in a while they will see me
at a public gathering just so the dubs feel uncomfortable and invite the wife even less.
I did learn a valuable skill. Just yesterday my husband and I were lost in a neighborhood. He was driving round and round, totally lost. I said to stop the car. I got out and went right up to a house and knocked on the door. I introduced myself and said I was lost and asked them to point me in the right direction. They did.
My husband was very impressed! I got back in the car and told him " See, its just like being a witness going door to door. The householder told me where to go!"
LOL! anewme, I can SO relate to you on this one! I remember having to figure out which one of the apartments in a building was my friends because she left a message for me to stop by. Both her cellphone and house phone were off at the moment so what do you think I did...
I also did it when I hit a parked car, I went and knocked on the guy's door and told him w/o any fear.... I tell people that story and they are flabergasted that I had the balls to knock on somebody's door after I hit their car- even more that I did high-tail it out of there.
So OnTheWayOut, I recall a few gatherings where we all had to gravitate aroun the marked folks and what not. Like you were allowed to enter the bubble for a little while, but if you stayed too long people would start looking and wondering what was going on.... So, it made you not talk as much 'cause you could feel the stares (whehter they were real or imagined) burning into you amd end the conversation with a "Well, it was nice seeing you-" as if you somehow aren't in the same house or lacation. it was quite sad, but folks slapped a smile on their faces and all was well again.
God its weird how this behavior can be seen as "normal" or okay because back then it didn't even phase me.
Those petty little men are so large in their own minds.
Pathetic, really.
Yeah, what Roller Dave said. Idiots.
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