The Effect of Losing Elders

by metatron 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mum
    Mum

    Welcome, grassyknoll. I wonder what the effect is and is going to become as the most caring elders step down or leave altogether. There are many current and former elders who post here, some of the best IMHO, and I feel that their loss must be sorely felt in the congregations they left.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    I know the elders always told my husband that they would never expect him to put the needs of the congregation ahead of his family. If taking care of his family meant that he couldn't serve the congregation, they'd completely understand.

    One time my husband was scheduled to give a part on the service meeting and I got hit with a REALLY bad migraine. Like, dizzy, black spots, ready to puke migraine. I went into the coat room to gain composure but found that I could barely keep my eyes open. So I told Ben we had to leave- I waited in that stupid coat room for 20 minutes while my husband actually argued with the PO about the validiaty of my illness before finally just telling them he was leaving period. The following meeting, I had elders whom I've rarely talked to before come up and hound me about my migraine. Did you eat something that caused it? Did you actually throw up or were you just naseous? Did you go to work the next day? Like weird questions.

    right, his family comes first

    I could go on and on about what crap that is-

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    I know and knew a lot of great elders. You could always tell who they were because they were talking to the friends and looked tired because they do all the work.

    What I miss most?: hanging out and reading the announcement board during the meeting. Oh man I ved being out of my seat and roaming the back of the hall. Sometimes I would go out to the parking lot 'to make sure there is no funny business going on out there'. hehehehehhe - ahhhh the fresh air, I remember it well.

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    most brothers want the status of being an MS or Elder so nobody can question why they're in the back doing "business" during the meeting-

    most sisters? well we wanted to have a baby so we'd have an excuse to get out of our seat and go to the back to "take care" of the baby-

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    grassyknoll07 said:

    My conscience is starting to bother me... good bye

    Judging by your username and this comment, I'm assuming this is the last we'll get to hear from you.

    Oh well. Thanks for stopping in. Come back any time. I would definitely get back in the "yoke" with you if I believed it. I just can't anymore.

    Hey if you're right, you can take comfort in these words I heard one of my less-than-sensitive JW relatives say one time about someone expressing doubts:

    "Hey, no problem. Just more real estate for me in paradise."

    Ah, the love. Sometimes it's downright palpable.

    Open Mind

  • Younglove1999
    Younglove1999

    "Hey, no problem. Just more real estate for me in paradise."

    My stomach just turned-

    that reminds me of when older ones thought it was cute of a young kid in our hall who once said, after seeing his mother get yelled at out in the ministry, "well that person is going to die!" Yes- we want our 4 year olds to think/talk like that-

  • metatron
    metatron

    Grassyknoll, I've been there, done that, and bought the T-shirt.

    I can only tell you that there will come a day when you look back on your position of being an elder

    and wonder why you didn't spend more time with your wife --- or children ----- or even hobbies, like

    the books you wanted to read or the project you wanted to start. Being an elder is only going to

    get harder because the system is broken and the old men in charge can merely demand that you

    ceaselessly 'do more'.

    Best Wishes, Bro

    metatron

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    This has been a great thread people and brought back lots of ghastly memories.
    When I wanted to just sit in my seat and cry I found I was the only MS there to run the mikes!

  • Alligator Wisdom
    Alligator Wisdom

    And why is it they call in the brother 3 minutes before the meeting starts to say "we're announcing this tonight"?

    Why can't they give the brother a heads up and let him think about it and get back to them?

    Yes, this happened to me. TWICE!

    I declined eldership. Not needing or wanting my hands to be tied in company procedure and policy, I refused.

    The first time the elders were perplexed. They actually thought I was reaching out to be an elder. The PO was embarrased, to say the least, when I sternly told him NO!. The secretary was stuttering trying to convince me because the meeting was just about to get underway. Needless to say, after the meeting we got into a longer discussion. At the next CO visit, it wasn't pretty. I stood my ground while strictly using scriptural backing for my decision. The CO or BOE couldn't refute that.

    The second time, it was almost deja vu. However, knowing my stance, they talked with me after the bookstudy meeting before the next upcoming TMS/service meeting where the appointment annoucements are made. Again I said NO!. And again, during the next CO visit, the same tirade.

    The reason for my refusal will be a subject for another post. By the way, I sense a third appointment coming on. It has been five years for the last two.

    Too much detail to remain anonymous? We'll see if the WT trackers are on.

    The elder pool is drying up (aka the company man). The good qualified experienced compassionate loving shepherds are sorely lacking.

    Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

  • Metamorphosis
    Metamorphosis

    I agree they seem to be getting desperate for people to cover. I personally have 3 relative-in-laws who were appointed Elders UNDER THE AGE OF 30. Also the local hall has been appointing ministerial servents left and right from brothers who either are very new to the truth or have 0 teaching/speaking abilities. I know that is not a qualification for being a MS, but why assign brothers public talks and instruction talks who you can barely understand and aren't very coherant? Because the older elders are tired of doing all the work and more than happy to pass it on to anybody and everybody. When I was serving I know I had at least one part, sometimes two every Thursday night.

    Morph

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