Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

by Jim_TX 13 Replies latest social humour

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will instantly remove itself.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink

    4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough

    7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache

    8. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40 If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

    10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

    Thoughts for the day:

    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

    Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

    Some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

  • poppers
    poppers

    Thanks for the laugh -

  • AWAKE&WATCHING
    AWAKE&WATCHING

    Laughter is the best medicine, thanks Doctor Jim, I needed that.

    Monthly Mind Power Topic

    July 1999

    The Laughing Doctor

    Out of nowhere they appear, hoisting a banner that proudly displays their name in neatly embroidered letters, "Juhu Laughter Club," and below that their slogan:
    HO-HO, HA-HA - LAUGHING IS THE BEST MEDICINE

    I'm in Bombay and the sun has not yet risen on Juhu Beach. I have come to see firsthand the work, or rather should I say play, of a most unusual doctor.

    Each morning forty or fifty men, women and children come to the beach for their daily dose of laughter. These people are members of one of India's almost 500 "laughter clubs"; groups which hold outdoor sessions that are free and open to everyone who believes in the therapeutic value of laughter.

    Madan Kataria, affectionately referred to as Dr. Laughter, is the founding force behind India's laughter therapy. A general practitioner and yoga expert, two decades ago he became interested in the physical and psychological benefits of laughter, and he has been meticulously researching its effect on the body ever since.

    Three years ago, when he set up his first laughter club, he was met with ridicule and bewilderment by his medical fraternity, but that did not stop him. Nor did it prevent the idea from spreading like wildfire. This year he is embarking on a worldwide "Laughter Tour" which will include Europe and the United States.

    "For many people stress has overtaken their lives. We have forgotten how to laugh," Dr. Kataria says. "We are living a very foolish life and we are not at peace with ourselves. We need to remember how to laugh. Laughter is a way to inner peace and relaxation."

    I watch as he takes his followers through their routines. It begins innocently enough, with hand clapping and a chorus of ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha. Then everyone forms a big circle and people take turns laughing, flapping their arms like a bird and performing other inane antics which, before long, have everyone giggling. And of course laughter is contagious; it feeds on itself. It lasts less than a half-hour but everyone, me included, has laughed a lot. And how does it make us feel? Well, great.

    Laughter is serious business to this Indian doctor. He has taken his clubs into factories where workers from the poorest city slums toil. They start the morning shift with a laughing session right on the shop floor. He takes it into schools, colleges, senior citizens homes. "There is no one who can't be helped by laughter," he points out. Laughter has become a science to him. He has already evolved 25 different types of laughter, including the Hearty Laugh, a deep, loud chuckle; the Gradient Laugh, which starts off as a smile, breaks into a titter and ends in a full-blown roar; and the Cocktail Laugh, emitting polite titters while moving the head from side to side, to name but a few.

    "The only factor in the therapy is that the laughter must be unconditional, like the laughter of children. We laugh because we can, not because of some outside stimulant. We want to liberate laughter from conditions," he says.

    Encountering Dr. Kataria only reconfirmed in my own mind what I've known for years. Laughter, fun and joy are highly therapeutic. When you're having fun, the body produces enzymes that actually help to fight disease. It is well known that depressed people fall ill far more often than those who are happy. Having fun is good for your health. So if you want to be healthy, there's no excuse-get out there and have fun. Laugh at yourself, laugh at your boss (not to his face), laugh at life's absurd moments, or, as Dr. Kataria teaches, laugh simply for the sake of laughing. Laughter is available to everyone. Any time. Any place. It is life's mysterious health tonic.

    John Kehoe

  • kitten whiskers
    kitten whiskers

    Loved it Jim!

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Funny - but Mrs didn't like the idea of using the sink for some reason.

    Jeff

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Hilarious!

  • bigdreaux
    bigdreaux

    8. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40 If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

    haha. too true. i have about 80,000 dollars in tools, and these are still the two most important. lol

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    RE: Duct tape -

    It's like Red Green (of the Red Green Show) always says... "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

    ...or... "Spare the duct tape, spoil the job!"

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • HAL9000
    HAL9000

    Jim,

    Thanks for the laugh. My workplace is more than a little stressed & I sent a copy to a few in need of relief.

    A typical reply was

    Some people may be upset about the sink.... Thanks for bringing a smile to my day.

    Thanks again, h9k

  • SacrificialLoon
    SacrificialLoon

    Number 8 is the best rule ever.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit