welcome bbdodger!
I like your name
1st post
by bbdodger 40 Replies latest jw friends
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poppers
I might comment a little here and there... I hope that I can be a useful contributor to the forum.
Just the fact that you came out of lurker status has made you a useful contributor; that will encourage others to do likewise. Welcome to the forum.
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OnTheWayOut
I might comment a little here and there... I hope that I can be a useful contributor to the forum.
You are certainly welcome here.
Everybody offers something. Even thoughtless comments help somebody.
Not that you are making thoughtless comments. I am sure you will be a great
poster. Not that I am knocking some posters who make thoughtless comments.
And who are we to decide what is "thoughtless" ? Not that I am speaking for
the others when I say "we" but... Anyway, welcome aboard. Everybody offers
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Open mind
Welcome aboard!!
The more the merrier!
Open Mind
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the dreamer dreaming
like most manipulations and manipulators, JWs function by getting you to REJECT reality and compare yourself to a carefully crafted IDEAL. this IDEAL is presented as your true potential and something you should always strive to be...and it seems to make sense...but because it is an ideal, is not about reality, and may not be about true potential either. the one thing it cannot help but do is to cause guilt for not measuring up and that is its real purpose.
Reality is always exactly what it must be in each and every moment, not what it could be...and if you realize this, nothing can cause self loathing guilt to accumulate...but so few come to understand this. should you strive to be the best you can be? that depends on what your goals are... sometimes being the best may harm some of your goals sometimes it may change your goals along the way and sometimes it may help you to reach one goal and lose others...each move is always a gamble to some degree...there is only the moves you make, not the ones you could have made...accept them, learn from them and prepare for your next move. no guilt required.
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changeling
I'm happy you found us.
Welcome!
changeling
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Homerovah the Almighty
Welcome Dodger glad to have you here,
I'd just like to say it's great that you've left this mind controlling cult, and your progressing gradually out of the think speak that the WTS
had instilled in to your brain, you've discovered that it was your brain after all and not theirs to exploit and manipulate..
Now you have the opportunity to expand your personal intellectualism and grow as a person.
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Younglove1999
wow... it's amazing how fast this board moves! I can't keep up!!!
Even though I haven't been active since I was 10 years old, EVERYTHING I'm reading rings true for me. I relate to every single posting I've read so far, because I was a very bright child who was very observant.
I haven't talked to the JWS in my family for nearly 20 years, it's so sad that their god doesn't want families to stay together. My God wants families to be together. The only contact I've had with any of them are letters they have written, telling me that I'm worldly. To know that if I died, my funeral would NOT be attended because it would not be officiated by a "Brother" is disheartening, to say the least.
I remember so much of my life during that time, because everything I did (even as a child) revolved around the activities of the faith. It may be easy to write off someone who hasn't attended a meeting in so long, but I assure you that the memories and the feelings, guilt, frustration, thoughts are just as fresh now as they were then.
I know, I can barely keep up with all the posts as well and I want to read everything! it's sad that those letters from family have to be sent to you- I cannot fathom ever doing that to my child/loved one. One of the red flags that came up prior to my official decision to leave (8 months ago) was attending the funeral of my husband's uncle. Uncle "Jack" was an awesome guy! So nice, funny, and just full of love. Uncle Jack had a long history with JW's- both his brothers (my father in law and my husband other uncle) were baptized since the late 60's. Uncle Jack never got baptized but had a deep respect for the Bible- he carried his Holy Bible with him all the time and appreciated having spiritual discussions with the JW's- he went to memorials, some assemblies, frequented meetings off and on, and knew MANY JW's over the course of 30 something years. When Uncle Jack passed away, not ONE single JW showed up at his funeral except my husband and I. Why? It was held at the Lutheran church because the rest of the family who weren't JW's were Lutheran and we all know the option to have his funeral in a KH wasn't there because he never got baptized. My husband's aunt (Jack's sister) and Jack were really close and ALOT of her Lutheran friends who barely knew Jack were there to offer support- where were the JW's? No where to be found. Since Uncle Jack was deaf, we hired an interpreter for the funeral who turned out to be a JW. She only interpreted one Eulogy by a cousin and the rest of the service she refused to interpret because it was pagan in her words! I saw that many deaf were upset to not know what was going on and I was tempted to go up there and interpret myself (since I knew sign language), but I didn't want my husband who was engrossed in the service (side note, we left that service more encouraged than some JW service by the way), that he had no idea of the commotion between the deaf and the interpreter and I didn't think he needed to be bothered with it. I was also afraid at the time that the interpreter would turn me in. Foolish I know, but most of you know that "fear". My husband and I later discussed the service that day and were needless to say quite disgusted that not ONE single JW's who knew Jack for all these years showed up. anyways, I'm hijacking your thread- welcome
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Maddie
Hello bbdodger,
A very big welcome from me to you! I have only been on the board for a short time and I am so relieved that I found it. Some of us have felt very alone and isolated as JW's or ex JW's or in the in between stages, if you know what I mean.
I can understand why your mother is still in the JW mindset, even though she was dsf'd all those years ago. It just shows how effective their mind control methods can be. It wasn't until I found out the truth about the WT organisation that my mind began to become free, even though I had witnessed and experienced many unloving acts and suffering caused to JW's in the congregation. Losing family and loved ones through the practise of shunning is unbelievably cruel!
Look forward to your posts in the future
