Were YOU Set Up To Fail?

by Sarah Smiles 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  IP_SEC

  No one has can say they've failed except with their last breath. Most who do are wrong.

  Failure as a witness is a true triumph in life.

  You were set up for success
  The cards were stacked against you
  You won anyway.
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  4digitcode

  right on IP_SEC!!!!
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  Sarah Smiles

  If we were over the mind control and emotional scars, would we be on this site to gain insight and to help others?
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  bikerchic

  Hi Sarah good question and one I've struggle with in my early days of leaving the B'org.

  Am I the only one who feels this way sorta of empty inside like there is something missing?

  I remember a saying I had on my wall something like if you fail to plan you plan to fail. I distinctly remember applying it to my recent leaving the B'org and that empty feeling I had. I got busy and started making plans for my life, doing things I had always wanted to do some of them I even accomplished but most of it turned out to be a great distraction for me just doing the planning, which proved that I could do most anything I put my mind to or planned to do.

  I figure life is an adventure but you have to participate in the journey or it just whizzes right on by and before you know it your 55 wondering how many more mundane days you have left on this earth before you become worm food.

  Happy trails to you!
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  WTWizard

  They in fact do set people up with unreachable standards. From a mathematical viewpoint, they are absolutely impossible to meet.

  First, there is the standard of doing more than the "minimum". People are supposed to not be satisfied with just doing the minimum--this was looked down on. So, you had to do more. And that became the new minimum, which likewise was unacceptable (why just do the minimum). This continued until you reached the absolute maximum, which is now the minimum. Again, you have to do more than the minimum, which is now mathematically impossible (you cannot do more than the maximum). Ultimately, you have to face the fact that you are not going to do enough to avoid a hounding.

  Single people were urged from a misinterpretation of the scripture that having themselves was better than kids. This translated into they should be doing more than themselves plus kids, which is also mathematically impossible. Any first grader will tell you that if you add two positive numbers, the sum will always be greater than either or the original numbers. This means that, whatever you do, kids will add to it. If you try to do service for kids, that goes back to what you can do yourself, and then you are left right back with nothing for kids. And of course they want "extra" so they can claim you as better than kids (if you have kids, you can still do the work yourself and let the kids add to it). This alone deserves dunce caps for everyone that tried playing that card on me.

  Then there is the getting recognition. You can do the work. But, if there is envy among the hounders, they are going to use the hounder-hounder to sabotage you. They will file a bad or questionable report about you, making advancement impossible and constantly hounding you about things that should be personal taste matters. Plus they use the hounder-hounder to get single people to stay single by cutting off opportunities through whole districts and circuits. Sometimes they even use slander to keep the people from doing anything that might threaten the leadership. Even members of the Governing Body are not exempt from this--just ask Raymond Franz what happened when he tried to fix the problems!

  This organization absolutely sets people up to fail by its very structure. The rules are vague, so you are guessing what they mean and you have to follow the strictest interpretation (and even then, someone else has an even stricter interpretation). Just get the maximum out of everyone and then throw them out. And they wonder why I wouldn't fill out an application to auxiliary pioneer when they shoved a said application in my face (I sat on it, and then threw it away) or go to Beth Hell.
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  Sarah Smiles

  I guess everyone knows what I am feeling! A lot of times it creeps in. At least I am not alone with the whole ordeal. I spoke with someone about it before. This counselor said that with most religions in the USA you have the freedom to walk out the door and go to another religion then turn around and walk back into the door. But the JW and some others do not allow their members to go to other religions. He said that there are too many people to keep up with so it is better to be able to go and come when you want with out the control problems or feeling judged your baptism is good no matter where you go, and most religions do not care there just happy to see you.

  Then he asked me after he explained this to me, if I understood the difference?

  My answer: no guilt and people happy to see you!

  Thanks everyone it is better to be with people who understand.
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  PinTail

  " Now, I feel stressed out and depressed about the whole ordeal that I have sinned and failed to be a good JDUB. Something in my brain does not let it go, I still want to please God. I seemed to not be able to let go of JDUBS teachings, out of my mind. Since I have fallen short and straighten up my life style through prayer and with age, I live life like a nun still trying to please God. I know Jesus died for sinners, so why should I feel like I failed. "

  I understand just how you feel because you see I too was raised a Jehovah's Witness's as well as most of us in here. I am in recovery much like an alcoholic that is recovering from the dependency that comes from being a Witness's, I know whole heartedly that if I as well as all of us would have been raised as the bible students were and still are the "Associated Bible Students" life would have been much easier for all of us.

  Rutherford did not help the sheep of Christ at all, he weighed them down with his man made rules.

  Think about it, it's the control efforts that the GB heaped on the rank and file, they have added more burden on us as humans and as struggling Christians seeking to please Jehovah needless do's and don'ts that go far beyond scripture, they have replaced our own conscious with their own and made us extensions of them selfs. For this their will be and accounting from Jehovah, for all those who they have stumbled along the path to life.

  http://www.divineplan.org/
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  Black Sheep

  Yes, I was set up to fail, and fail I did.

  Setting you up to fail is a tool used by cults, and one on one abusers, to control you.

  Read any book on mind control and/or abusive relationships to see how it works and understand how it was used on you so that you won't fall into that trap again.

  We didn't actually fail at all. We were/are just unwitting victims of deceivers.

  I recently read "Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships" by Madeleine Landau Tobias and Janja Lalich. I found it very helpful in understanding what had happened to me and that none of it was my fault. I was not guilty of anything at all.

  Cheers

  Chris
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  Sarah Smiles

  Thanks Pin Tail, I am glad that you found the Bible Students a way of life.

  Everyone, I sure have enjoyed reading your replies and post!
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  Sarah Smiles

  Thanks Pin Tail, I am glad that you found the Bible Students a way of life.

  Everyone, I sure have enjoyed reading your replies and post!