Trying to date in the organization...gossipers ruining relationships

by B_Deserter 19 Replies latest jw experiences

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  B_Deserter

  Jehovah's Witnesses are some of the worst gossipers I've ever encountered, especially when it comes to the dating habits of those in the congregation. But, that's not really a surprise to most of us. This story, however, makes me just shake my head and wonder why this guy doesn't question stuff.

  There's a sister in my brother's hall that recently got a divorce. My brother introduced her to our mutual friend who lives in a different area. They pretty much hit it off immediately, but since her divorce wasn't final, dating is a big no-no in the congregation, of course. So they've decided not to do any dating activities until her divorce is final. No calling, spending time together, etc. etc. The only time they see each other is when he comes down to hang out with my brother and she happens to be there.

  Of course, the rumor mills in his congregation have been going in overdrive. He told his roommate who told some other people and it's caught on. One sister came up to him one night and said "there's a hot rumor going around the congregation that you're dating someone." He replied, "no, I'm not (because he isn't), so please spread a counter-rumor to that effect." The woman went off in a huff, insulted.

  In her congregation, there's a brother who likes to make shit up and spread it around. They just made him a ministerial servant, too. He started spreading the rumor that my friend is coming down and bothering her, making him look like some sort of harrasser or something. He told her brother this so of course the rumors are now flying in both congregations, even though they're over 100 miles apart.

  This just frustrates me to no end. Why the HELL can't Jehovah's Witnesses MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS and let people date in peace?
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  Frequent_Fader_Miles

  If they stop gossiping and mind their own business ... what will that leave the elderettes to do?

  With the general shortage of male brothers in the Borg, situations such as you've described usually end the same way. I've known personally of a young attractive brother (MS) who was being eyed by sisters as soon as he "came of age". It so happened that he became interested in a foreign sister who was visiting the country ... all hell broke loose! The local sisters harrassed the poor girl until she left the congregation.
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  ex-nj-jw

  This just frustrates me to no end. Why the HELL can't Jehovah's Witnesses MIND THEIR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS and let people date in peace?

  Oh, that's an easy answer!

  They have no life! They live their life sheltered, being told what to do, when to do it and how much they should do it.

  nj
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  Twitch

  Gossipers are not exclusive to witnesses though probably they might be higher than the average due to the closed circle of people which lends itself to such behaviour. I've come across a number of gossip hounds since leaving and some are downright malicious, believe me. One in particular was one at work which was very annoying.

  Some people just like to talk about other people's bidness. They're everywhere dammit! lol.
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  ex-nj-jw

  Some people just like to talk about other people's bidness. They're everywhere dammit

  But JW's are suppsed to be different, right? Or at least that what they want everyone else to believe!

  nj
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  Twitch

  But JW's are suppsed to be different, right? Or at least that what they want everyone else to believe!

  They like to think so, but they're just like everybody else in certain respects, worse in some I suppose. After I left, I had hoped people on the outside might be "better" in regards this kinda thing but it was not so. People are people and some are just that way.
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  ex-nj-jw

  I know Twitch,

  I was being sarcastic I'm a nurse and work with lot's of women who love to gossip. But the difference is that the people I work with can't gossip about me if they don't know anything about me. I don't allow them to be in my business, therefore they tend to stay out of it! You have a certian amount of control on what people know or do not know about you.

  In the JW BORG everyone is in everyone else's business whether you want them there or not, whether you allow them to be there or not!

  I'm so glad I got out when I did!

  nj
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  Twitch

  I was being sarcastic

  LOL. Now you know my weakness,....sarcasm is my Kryptonite.
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  sweetstuff

  They are a group of people who can't be happy for others, because their lives suck. What better way to feel superior than to gossip behind people's back and then pat yourself on the back for how much "better" you are? Living in a fishbowl amplifies this behavior tenfold. People in general tend to be gossipy but a normal non wit will mind their biz when you ask them to do so, that just peaks a wits curiosity because if you won't divulge, you must be hiding something! And they will uncover what, or make something up. Nope, don't miss that, one little smidgen.
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  R.F.

  Ahh... the wonderful adventures of JW dating.

  I firmly believe that many JWs can't handle the boredom with their lives so the must concoct fake stories to keep themselves entertained.

  This was very much the person when I was in a relationship with someone in the Organization. Since we were both very young everyone wanted us to hurry and get married before we "messed up". Since we took our time everyone was on our case all the time, and the rumors swirled like the wind. It was so bad to the point that it caused the both of us to allow paronoia to run rampant. We were always watching our backs, making sure we did every little thing the "right way" so that no one could possibly get the wrong idea. That still didn't work. That's why I don't even call it "dating" when it comes to JWs.

  R.F.