Hypocrisy in expectations???

metaspy

Ok, I am not very experienced in the field of females.
Recently, my mother and I were talking about courting, and other stuff like that.
A sister recently stopped courting a brother because "he was ready to get married too soon".
I understand rushing into things can get you into trouble.
However, the sister had said (after the first date) "this is the one I want to marry".
So, my question is why the hypocrisy??
She was saying he was the one after 1 date; he was - after a month.
She broke it off because he was too quick?!

This isn't the first time something like this has happened.
I can come up with at least 3 or 4 other relationships where the female has ended it because of the male being too eager.
Yet in each circumstance the female was quicker than the male to jump to conclusions.

My mom says, the man is just supposed to be slower about it and she expects him to be logical.
She wants someone who knows her better.

Please straighten me out on this subject.
Are females prone to hypocrisy, or is this a JW thing?

Sorry if some feel I am sexist in asking this.

Gopher

My mom says, the man is just supposed to be slower about it and she expects him to be logical.

There's nothing like a good over-generalization ! This reminds me of what I read somewhere in WT literature-- it might have been "Making Your Family Life Happy", along the lines of "generally men think while women feel".

Oh please.

Mum

It is best to have a courtship of at least a year and a half, or at least to have known each other that long, before getting married.

Another good argument for not trying to get a woman to commit very quickly is that abusers do that.

JH

She was saying he was the one after 1 date

It's called chemistry

Van Halen

When it's love

Hey!

Everybody's lookin' for somethin'
Somethin' to fill in the holes
We think a lot but don't talk much about it
'Till things get out of control, oh!

How do I know when it's love?
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
Oh! How does it feel when it's love?
It's just somethin' you feel together
When it's love

You look at every face in a crowd
Some shine and some keep you guessin'
Waiting for someone to come into focus
Teach you your final love lesson
Ooh!

How do I know when it's love?
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
Oh! How does it feel when it's love?
It's just something you feel together

(Oh oh oh oh) Oh, when it's love
(Oh oh oh oh) You can feel it, yeah!
(Oh oh oh oh) Nothin's missin', yeah!

(Guitar Solo)

(Oh oh oh oh) Yeah, you can feel it
(Oh oh oh oh) Oh, when it's love
(Oh oh oh oh) When nothin's missing, ow!

How do I know when it's love?
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
Ooh, how does it feel when it' love?
It's just something you feel together, hey!

How do I know when it's love?
I can't tell you but it lasts forever
When it's love
Ooh, when it's love
Hey! It'll last forever

(Na na na-ah na na)
When it's love
(Na na na-ah na na)
(Na na na-ah na na)
(Na na na-ah na na)
You and I, we're gonna feel this thing together
(Na na na-ah na na) (repeat to end)
When it's love, ooh
When it's love, baby
You can feel it, yeah!
We'll make it last forever
Ooh-ooh, when it's love

metaspy

Mum, I do realize the benefits of courting for longer periods of time.
I was just asking if it is normal for a female to call a male on the carpet for something she already has done.
Thus blaming the break up on something he is doing, that she has done too.

Mum

JH is right. The chemistry can be there, but that's only the beginning. Saying that you know this is the person you are going to marry is one thing. To actually marry that person in haste is quite another. If I understood correctly, she only made a remark but did not state that she wanted to actually go through with marriage right away.

It's as if I am driving down the street and say "I want to own that house one day." I mean it when I say it, but maybe I don't have the money, or maybe when I see the inside of the house I will find it less appealing than it was from the outside.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Perhaps the sister was just using that as an excuse to get out of the relationship for whatever reason.

It's also possible that after getting to know him a little better, she simply changed her mind and didn't know how to explain why.

Then again, the brother could have become too persistent after getting wind of the sister's opinion that "he's the one".

Sometimes aggressive persistence could mean there's something wrong with him.

Maybe the sister didn't agree with the Society's "6-month" courting period rule?

metaspy

Mum - your explanation is a lot better than my mom's!!!

Ex Nihilo

I live in an area with few males.

Females will dig claws in as many males as possible until they have the one they like.

Often they will claim males to calm the "old maid" fear, and the realize that it was really dumb.

The male being happy accepts the initial offer, and when the female realizes she claimed him to get rid of her anxiety of not having a mate, she will move to "greener pastures", thinking he is moving to fast, forgetting she called it.

JW girls in my area are terrified of being left behind.

In non witness terms though, females are irrational anyway, I am one and have trouble still.

BizzyBee

I was just asking if it is normal for a female to call a male on the carpet for something she already has done.
Thus blaming the break up on something he is doing, that she has done too.

You have a problem with this?

Hypocrisy in expectations???

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