Think i just did something really stupid. I have had a bad couple of days. I was in the playground yesterday and had my jw bil stood right in front of me ignoring me totally (i'm d'ad) but talking to my hubby, who said nothing to him (her my eifes here too or something would have been nice) so i felt like total dogs poo and we both ended up in tears over it all when i got home. Then this morning i felt bad as my nephew banged into me on purpose and i told him off as i'm pregnant(and have problems in pregnancy) and he went off all dejected and hubby said he only did it out of excitement . So i made cakes today and gave him some in the playground. His mother was with her jw friends, has not spoken for 3 months.
Nearly walked all the way home and she pulled her car up (cos no one else about) and said thanks for the cakes all pally and before i could stop i just said ' they're for **** not you' not nastily but i was angry and thing she was just showing off cos her non jw was in the car with her. So hubby just got a text from his brother saying his wife upset that she thanked me for cakes and i snapped her head off (defo did not snap) then accused hubby of blanking her (but he tries usually to support me at school as its so hard for me at the mo facing them all daily) and they don't talk to him.
So i lost it because i have been crying for months and been offered counselling and been really ill from stress yet not one of them cares. So i texted and said i didn't snap but would they like to see it from my side for once that i have been ignored for months and never know if i'm going to be spoken to or ignored and made to feel like crap. I'm fed up with it all and perhaps he'd like to tell me how i could have left the jws without being treated like s*** because there was no other choice, and i'm expected to respect their views when they don't mine. I said i cared for them all but am fed up with being treated like this.
Now i have to face them all tomorrow, and have probably lost any chance of having my nephew round ever!Do you think i was in the wrong to send it?I've just had enough again lately and feel like everytime i take my boy to school i'm being victimised basically. Luckily hubby not cross with me he was just worried about my using the s*** word!Do you think i should have just ignored his text in the first place?I don't think i can apologise cos it's all true.