If ever you feel stupid... read this thread... you'll feel better

by IP_SEC 16 Replies latest social humour

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids

    all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love

    to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and

    death and stuff."

    --Mariah Carey

    ________________________________

    "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a veryimportant part of your life,"

    -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become

    Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .

    _______________________________

    "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part

    of my body,"

    -- Winston Bennett,

    University? of Kentucky basketball forward .

    ________________________________

    "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the

    lowest crime rates in the country,"

    --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC .

    ________________________________

    "I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

    -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of

    subpoenaed documents.

    ________________________________

    "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death

    by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"

    --A congressional candidate in Texas .

    ________________________________

    "Half this game is ninety percent mental."

    --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

    ________________________________

    "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's

    the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

    --Al Gore, Vice President

    ________________________________

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that

    may or may not occur."

    -- Al Gore, VP

    ________________________________

    "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix ."

    -- Dan Quayle

    ________________________________

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much

    clean air do we need ?"

    --Lee Iacocca

    _______________________________

    "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A

    genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

    --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

    _____________________________

    "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude

    certain types of people."

    -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor .

    ________________________________

    "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

    --Bill Clinton, President

    ________________________________

    "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come

    from overseas."

    --Keppel Enderbery

    ________________________________

    " Your food stamps will be stopped effective

    March 1992 because we received notice that

    you passed away. May God bless you. You may

    reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

    --Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

    ________________________________

    "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack

    in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their

    heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when

    they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    Those were hilarious...thanks for sharing.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Better than blonde jokes! You can't make that stuff up! Thanks for sharing this.

  • oompa
    oompa

    Thanks IP......I really do feel better......oompa

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Too funny!

    BB

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore

    "Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" George W. Bush.

    "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." George Dubya Bush.

    "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." The current President of the United States.

    "We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile" This guy: alt

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushisms

  • sweetface2233
    sweetface2233

    "We are ready for an unforeseen event that

    may or may not occur."

    Our whole God damn lives!

    Thanks for the thread, buddy. I needed the laughs tonight.

    sweetFACE

  • dobbie
    dobbie

    They are really funny thanks for posting them, put a smile on my chops!

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    I spit diet coke all over the monitor when i read what Mirah Carey painful thoughts. anyone checked snopes?

    how stupid can anyone be?

    lol

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    Akkk!! I posted the Mariah quote before doing enough research on it. according to snopes.com it is apparently not a true quote.

    My sincere apologies.

    anyone checked snopes?

    oops, thank you wensdi.

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