I think the purpose of JWD is multifaceted, in that it is generally a safe anonymous place for a newly exiting JW to vent their frustrations and realize that they are not alone in their feelings. It's a place where we can confirm that it is not "us" that's screwed up, it's the organization that is. It's a place where you can find a great deal of empathy and support when you discuss the bad experiences you've had at the hands of the JWs, including family members who remain JWs. It is also a place where we can discuss how we cope with those negative experiences and how to empower ourselves to deal with them constructively, we share ideas and talk about what has worked for us.
There are so many various issues that being an exJW brings to our lives - that's what makes this place so dynamic and why we often see several different people bringing up similar issues time and time again (for example, the I'm In Love With A JW theme).
I agree wholeheartedly that there are things that are horrible - being shunned by family - being abused by the authority structure of the organization - the time wasted on JW pursuits that could have been put toward education and careers, just to name a few. One of the goals of JWD is to do - as Simon once put it - to help exJWs become ex-exJWs, to empower people to find ways to make the best of the life they have now and the future they can have.
If we were in a car accident on the highway, there is a time where the initial shock and trauma is expected - eventually though, it is necessary for the rescue vehicles to come in and take people to hospital to treat their injuries, and then the police come to examine the scene, and finally the clean up crew comes in and clears the way for the normal flow of traffic to resume. It would be unreasonable to interfere with those involved in the rescue and clean up operations, just because a person in the accident wanted to make sure everyone driving by got an opportunity to see the wreckage and recognize how badly injured they are, instead of getting in the ambulance, going to the hospital for treatment and then doing physiotherapy, contacting the insurance company, calling work to book off until the injuries were healed, making arrangements to pick up children from school, paying bills, etc.
I think this is where a lot of frustration creeps in and perhaps is the source of "just get over it" type comments, is where people here who have been showing support to someone hurting, offering suggestions to help them cope, trying to empower them to take steps to move beyond the "victim" stage, become frustrated that some seem content to remain in the "victim" stage, diverting attention away from others who are really interested in becoming empowered and moving beyond that. It's not that we don't empathize, it's a matter of trying to prioritize or triage needs - someone who's been here for years already, for example, still behaving like a "victim", in spite of all the help provided, who's heard all the suggestions and received tons of support already and who demonstrates that they want sympathy or attention more than constructive advice and show no willingness to change anything or apply any advice they receive, versus someone who is truly bewildered by their suddenly being DFd or kicked out of their house or having their family ripped apart by WTS policy and really wants to utilize the suggestions that are offered.
I realize that recovery is going to take as long as it takes - it's an individual process. We're all going through these various stages of recovery doing the best we can with what knowledge and resources we have. It's just truly sad to devote so much time and make an emotional investment in trying to help people who claim to want the help but who refuse to be helped, and it becomes clear that attention is all that they want. Personally, I find it best to steer clear of those people, not wanting to hurt them further or give them more reason to feel like a victim, however there are times when setting clear boundaries are necessary to maintain my sanity.
..LOL!!...OUTLAW