As a JW I was brought up to believe the Bible was the Word of God, didn't contradict itself and could answer all our questions. I loved the Bible and took the words of Proverbs 2 literally, where it says if you call out for undestanding and search for it you will find the very knowledge of God.
I studied the Bible as JW's recomend, but found that it left me with more questions than answers and this eventually led me out of the "Truth," as I discovered many contradictions in both the Hebrew and the Greek Scriptures and instances where the Apostle Paul even contradicts Jesus words.
In the most important event of Bible history, (the death of Jesus) the gospel writers can't even agree on the sequence of events and who he appeared to first after his resurrection. There are many other instances that I've uncovered to show that the Bible clearly isn't infalable, or the Word of God, but this has made me realize just how wonderful this collection of writings actually is and I still have a passion and deep love for it, because I now see it for what it actually is... A collection of ancient writings, written by ordinary, imperfect men.
It's all there, Jesus' warning about false prophets and how they crept into the early congregation to pollute his words with what we now call Christianity, and the fact that "Christians" follow the teachings of the self appointed Apostle Paul, rather than those of Jesus the Jew.
I'd be the first to admit that I'm not the brightest of people, so I can't understand why I can see it while my family, who are still JW's can't. If I'm wrong, then why doesn't someone challenge what I believe and why aren't the Elders willing to sit down and discuss it with me, rather than just writing me off as an Apostate?
I suppose the purpose of this posting, is to find out what others think and if they have had similar experiences. I'd love to discuss what I believe with others and be proven wrong, if that is the case, but I don't know where to go, as I feel as if I don't fit in. I feel alienated by family, previous friends and so-called brothers, but still feel as if I'm no part of the world, so any advice would be appreciated.