Okay, Here it goes
Growing up I had a friend that was disfellowshiped for premarital sex, marrying someone out of his faith, and pretty much being a free thinker. To see what he went through at such a young age was painful to watch. Years later I meet this wonderful man, who was raised as a witness. To say wonderful is an understatement. That is until we finally had "the talk" recently after a couple years of marriage, (I know I know, should have started there in the first place....Lust can make you do silly things!)
To spare you too many details his family has never fully accepted me. Imagine that?! At our wedding his mother looked more like she was standing at Wal-Mart buying groceries than at a wedding. The other two siblings weddings....of course...sheer joy! I have been humiliated more than once, I'm almost over it. My huband and I are very very close. We don't really have many secrets...okay maybe a few JK.
One day, my father in law came to stay with us because he was going to the Assembly in our area. Mind you it was an hour and a half drive from our house to and from the location, and he stated that unless we went, he wouldn't feel comfortable staying in our home. Of course at this what i should have said was that's absolutely fine, we'll get you a hotel closer to the venue. Little did I know that my husband had already promised his dad he would go with him. whoopdee fu&^* doo!? right?
Well a day or two before the assembly it all fell apart. I started on a very heated email exchange which led to me being called an athiest and so forth. ( If you get to know me...I'M NOT AN ATHIEST...YET). Well after more than a few buckets of tears, hugs, sobs, and I love you's..We were back to okay. Until the days of the assembly.
When my FIL arrived there was already tension. I'm sure my husband was being asked why I wasn't going, but he would never answer for me. (I'm telling you he really is wonderful) He has been inactive for about 4 or 5 years now and it was like an alien took over when all of this happened. The day this was going on was my brothers' birthday, which is why he couldn't bring his father over to my parents for dinner. He has always been involved caustiously with these events before but said he didn't want his father to be uncomfortable. I also need to mention that my family is sickeningly and disgustingly close...no...really....it's sick. And this is yet another huge difference between our families. My brother in law has only spoken to us when absolutely necessary. One of the sisters is coming along, but we all know thats about as far as it will get.I also need to mention that my father in law is not a huge problem, my mother in law, well that will have to be another post.
Well, i stayed at my parents as long as i could and finally went home.
When i arrived, my hubby was sitting in our living room lights out and told me he really missed me that day. Like really really really missed me. Mind you we never go longer than a few hours w/o talking so i know it was extremely hard for him as it was for me. I told him this is exactly what our lives would be once he chose to go back. He asked it I would go with them Sunday and I told him that I could not do that because I was not in agreeance with at least 1% of any of this. I explained that the day that he was open to going with me to a different denomination to look for one together that I could join him. Until then, again, this is what our once wonderful life was about to turn into.
Please know that this board has helped me tremendously and I will always be grateful.
Every once in a while i see a glimpse of hope and i hang on to it because i promise you this man is worth the wait. It just goes to show how overpowering and destructive cult mentality can be. Thank you all for your support and I'll keep those interested posted.
4mL