OJ goes to Hell

kerj2leev

One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list ,but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell. "No," OJ said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented OJ.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton , lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Satanus

Poor bill. S

Gopher

Sounds like OJ just got Buffaloed.

BFD

Does he have to wear a blue dress?

BFD

wednesday

i love hell jokes.

OJ has left a permanent maker on us, good or bad.

Lloyd Braun

Just a quick question...

I still wonder why we treat the acquited as if they are actually guilty in this country? IN retrospect, shouldn't we view most convicts then, as if they are actually innocent?

Just a paradox to think of...

Oh well, back to selling computers...

Matt

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

Just a quick question...
I still wonder why we treat the acquited as if they are actually guilty in this country? IN retrospect, shouldn't we view most convicts then, as if they are actually innocent?
Just a paradox to think of...
Oh well, back to selling computers...
Matt

Hell, it was just a joke, man.

Mary

I still wonder why we treat the acquited as if they are actually guilty in this country?

Um, just because someone was acquited doesn't mean they're not guilty. It just means that 12 people were too stupid to recognize evidence when they saw it.

BFD

He was found guilty in the civil trial.

I still want to know if OJ has to wear a blue dress in hell?

BFD

Lloyd Braun

Um, just because someone was acquited doesn't mean they're not guilty. It just means that 12 people were too stupid to recognize evidence when they saw it.

So it is not very American to have reasonable doubt anymore? I am just trying to put a hypothetical on this from our own perspectives. The people were stupid, not democratic? How do we really know, anyway? I would actually purport the other end of this, then, and ask you...

Just because someone is convicted, doesn't mean they're guilty, then right? It just means that 12 people were too stupid to recognize reasonable doubt in those cases?

Are we willing to be illuminated about this?

OJ goes to Hell

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