What's your favorite ridiculous scripture?

by veen 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • The Oracle
    The Oracle
    Jeremiah 25:27 Drink and get drunk and puke and fall so that YOU cannot get up because of the sword that I am sending among YOU .”

    I figured that scripture gives humans licence to get shitfaced...unless god only wants us to get drunk when he wants to kill us

    because God's not fast enough to catch us when we're sober? It's like shooting fish in a barrel! (If I have that term right)LOL

    LOL! Very funny Eclipse!

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Hezekiah 6:66 'He that sinneth, grinnith"!

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    "What! Do you not know that he who lies down with a harlot is one body with her? 'For the two,' says he, 'will become one flesh'"?

    Totally retarded. I have too many of them stuck in my head.

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    "Eye has not seen (I hasn't???) and ear has not heard, neither has it been conceived in heart of man the things that god has prepared for those that love him."

    See, this just flows, they're just words, words for WT to misinterpret to mean that the world, they just doesn't gets it.

    "If a word sounds queer and funny to your ear, a little bit jumbled and jivy, Sing: Mares eat oats, and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy."

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    There's always, 'You must not boil a kid in it's mother's milk.'

    Uh Ok, lord, let's not do that. . .

  • PEC
    PEC

    All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense. (Leviticus 20:9 NLT)

    Philip

  • PEC
    PEC

    But any prophet who claims to give a message from another god or who falsely claims to speak for me must die.' You may wonder, 'How will we know whether the prophecy is from the LORD or not?' If the prophet predicts something in the LORD's name and it does not happen, the LORD did not give the message. That prophet has spoken on his own and need not be feared.(Deuteronomy 18:20-22 NLT)

    Philip

  • PEC
    PEC

    Make ready to slaughter his sons for the guilt of their fathers; Lest they rise and posses the earth, and fill the breadth of the world with tyrants. (Isaiah 14:21 NAB)

    Philip

  • PEC
    PEC

    If even then you remain hostile toward me and refuse to obey, I will inflict you with seven more disasters for your sins. I will release wild animals that will kill your children and destroy your cattle, so your numbers will dwindle and your roads will be deserted. (Leviticus 26:21-22 NLT)

    Philip

  • PEC
    PEC

    (Moses) stood at the entrance to the camp and shouted, "All of you who are on the LORD's side, come over here and join me." And all the Levites came. He told them, "This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Strap on your swords! Go back and forth from one end of the camp to the other, killing even your brothers, friends, and neighbors." The Levites obeyed Moses, and about three thousand people died that day. Then Moses told the Levites, "Today you have been ordained for the service of the LORD, for you obeyed him even though it meant killing your own sons and brothers. Because of this, he will now give you a great blessing." (Exodus 32:26-29 NLT)

    Philip

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit