Joke of the day

by Tyrone van leyen 49 Replies latest social humour

  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Actually, I would just tip my hat and wink and point over my shoulder--all there is to it. ;-)

  • Clam
    Clam

    OK

    It was the princes' desire, to marry a beautiful princess who happened to be blind. Louis Braille was also yet to be born. Anyway. . .
  • John Doe
    John Doe

    Ah well, that's what I get for skimming. ;-)

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Did you hear about the 'lucky fisherman?'

    His wife had 'worms'!

    Outaservice

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    He got you there, John. Your as romantic as a glass of ice water.

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Scully:

    I love that Superman joke. I've heard it before (I think from you, perhaps). But I enjoyed your lengthy version this time.

    Especially this gruesome detail:

    STREET PIZZA!!

    Yum! I'm sick. I know.

    Open Mind

  • avengers
    avengers

    Two elders are walking down the street. Says one elder to the other: "Can I please walk in the middle?"

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    But listen John.

    These cops pulled over a driver and asked what the deal was with with the long knives in the back seat. The driver said." Hey man those are for my gig, I'm a juggler" The officer was very doubtful and said "sure they are lets see do it.

    The juggler then took the deadly sharp blades, and started his act in front of the officer, twirling and tossing the knives.

    A passing motorist said to his passenger. " I'm glad I quit drinking and driving. Look at the tests they're giving motorists these days for impairment."

  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    A man enters the hospital for a circumcision. When he comes to after the procedure, he’s perturbed to see several doctors standing around his bed.

    “Son, there’s been a bit of a mix-up,” admits the surgeon. “I’m afraid there was an accident, and we were forced to perform a sex-change operation. You now have a vagina instead of a penis.”

    “What!” gasps the patient. “You mean I’ll never experience another erection?”

    “Oh, you might,” the surgeon reassures him. “Just not yours.”


  • Bumble Bee
    Bumble Bee

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.

    Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

    Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

    "What does that tell you?"

    Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

    Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

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