This is an emotional thread for me right now. My parents just visited me, and their witness talk has gotten me down. My mom asked me the usual questions I will say yes to. Did I go to the meetings and am I going to field service. Yes yes. On top of that theres a bunch of other stuff I don't feel right about here.
What that meant was I have this feeling that I want to graduate right now but I don't. I want to get off this town, its boring, and most of the people here are not to my liking. Is it normal for college kids to talk about going to church and not drinking alcohol. I expected different. I accepted it my first year thinking its the fad these days, and because I wanted to be a part of something. Later, to only decide no its not for me. How this relates to being a witness? All the things in this thread will connect.
Because of my upbringing I express a disdain for anything religious. Do any of you feel like you still carry witness personalities or something? I can't explain it. Maybe I just want to place blame on something.
Its got to be me thats making me feel this way. I don't know how to explain...um I feel powerless? I feel like I can't use my full personality potential here. I just don't feel right being here.
As I said before I want to graduate asap just to get out of this town, but I don't because then I will have to find a professional career, and that will be the end of whatever college life I've had.
Even trying to post these threads is pissing me off with the way it posts it in one big block of paragraph. It doesn't separate it for me.
So far to cure this emotional crap in my system, I've smoked a cigarette, I tried playing guitar and singing Wonderwall but failed, and now I'm about to go for an hour of running.
Will you always be a Jehovah's witness?
by tsunami_rid3r 11 Replies latest jw friends
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tsunami_rid3r
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sosad
i hope you had a great run and feel empowered by your ability to move forward - you will feel more in control and more positive about your options, even if you don't think so all the time take care, sosad
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primitivegenius
to answer your question.. HELL NO ill never be a witness ever again.
breaking free and abandoning the cult for what it is, is a start but it takes quite a while to work out the bulls*** they have cramed down your throat all your life.
when you do get out and break free for the last time............. you will finally start to enjoy life. not being forced to slave for those people and to do this and that cause they say to and if you dont........ GUILT TRIP.
it MUST be YOU thats wrong............. thats what the jws tell you or if they dont say it outright thats the impression the force upon you.
GRACE.......... thats what god has for each and every liveing person on earth...... he dosent expect you to earn it peddeling magazines or reporting field service time....... he gives it freely to you. he wants you to have the best life you can and for it to be happy.
if you feel you need to leave that town in order for your life to be right then by all means do so........ dont let them get you down. there are two schools of thought....... fade and put up with their crap always asking did you go to the meetings and all that....... or break it cleanly and say CULT CULT CULT so they wont bother you with their guilt.
i faded and then am now responding with CULT CULT CULT ......... the few times they call me i will respond to every witness jab with a christian non cult jab.................. soon they stop and i dont have to bother.
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WTWizard
In fact, I will never willingly be a Jehovah's Witless again. They could physically recapture me and force me to go through the motions, but there is no way I will ever believe it to be the truth again. And especially after being active on forums like this one and looking at various other apostate Web sites, and integrating my own experiences with the Tower and common sense, there is no way I am going to actually believe a word of what they have to say.
The "truth" also clashes frequently with the common-sense laws of arithmetic. There is no way a person can be better than himself plus kids. There is no way they can tell me that Jesus was born in 2 BC[E] and was 33 1/2 in 33 AD [CE], since the lack of the zero year would put him at 34 in 33 AD, NOT 33. They cannot tell me that "times" has to mean two times and no more. They cannot tell me that 7 times is 2,520 years since one year has 365 1/4 days and not the 360 days they use. And they can't tell me that Armageddon has to get here because it's close and getting closer--I know of many equations that are close, are always getting closer, but will never reach the root. And just about every time they try to give me counsel, it doesn't integrate mathematically.
Also, I have seen how the rules integrate poorly with each other. It's like putting software that is incompatible with other running software on your computer--it crashes. How, for instance, can one follow the advice to get more sleep with Brother Hounder extorting you for ever more service? Or, where are you going to find the time to practice the hobbies that are showcased in the Asleep magazines? Wearing inappropriate clothing for the weather and climate is also required--having a suit coat on at all times in blistering heat in New York City, where it is very muggy, is not cool. And, with winter coming (Canadians should be already seeing some taste of it now), the sisters will be forced in field circus with bare legs (panty hose and a skirt that is 2"/5 cm below the knee is not going to protect from snow and wind). None of this matters--if they tell you to go out like that, they don't care if you get frostbite or heat stroke.
About all I will do is lead every call to the most effective apostate Web sites I can find, and Crisis of Conscience. There is no way I am going to support the Watchtower Society, and if they try and force me, I intend to make them waste more energy forcing me than they would have had to expend just doing the damn work themselves.
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John Doe
You'll always have a different perspective than the average person. However, our identities are fluid, and we make of them what we will. Instead of seeing the negative, think of the positive. You've come to question your beliefs and you will be more demanding of impartial evidence before you believe things than the average person. You are well equipped to filter through bs and get to the crux of matters, all because you come from a background that has not only led you to be untrusting of the popular view, but also has led you to be untrusting of your own view. This no doubt puts you in the best position to learn new material objectively. Make sense?
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frankiespeakin
JD.
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Jeffro
This is an emotional thread for me right now. My parents just visited me, and their witness talk has gotten me down. My mom asked me the usual questions I will say yes to. Did I go to the meetings and am I going to field service. Yes yes. On top of that theres a bunch of other stuff I don't feel right about here.
Are you saying 'yes' to them to make them happy, or are you actually still going to 'meetings' and 'field service'. Maybe you should stop going and start saying 'no'. If you don't have friends outside of the religion, it makes things immensely more difficult to leave, particularly if you are baptized. But regardless of how well-intended or how sincere JWs seem to be, the fact of the matter is that their beliefs are just not true. There is no valid reason to remain associated with them, other than for social reasons. But staying only for social reasons while knowing their beliefs to be wrong isn't good for your health either.
Because of my upbringing I express a disdain for anything religious. Do any of you feel like you still carry witness personalities or something? I can't explain it. Maybe I just want to place blame on something.
Give it time. Some JW traits take longer than others to let go of, particularly being judgmental of other people and their beliefs. It is human nature to want there to be someone to blame. But once you escape, that will subside eventually too, if you let it.
For some people, being a JW works (kind of), because it's easier for them to have walls put up around them, and not having to make as many decisions for themselves (especially with a nice shiny delusion about the future). If it's not working for you, there is no benefit in pretending that it does, especially if it's just for your parents' benefit. It sounds like you're frustrated with everything as a result of trying to fit into their mould. Time to break free. -
Cicatrix
Hi Tsunami,
I think it's pretty common-even amongst non-JWs, to be conflicted and unsure of the future when one is preparing to graduate. You are moving on to the unknown, so to speak. You know how to be a student and what's expected of you. Becoming a professional is all new territory. It also means that society expects you to take on a different role.This can all result in having to deal with fear.
The JW angle of it all is deciding whether to stay in your town, or to move on where you can make a fresh start without their interference.It's tough enough for nonJWs to deal with this juncture with their family's support. It's harder when your family is part of the problem. But Tsunami, you DO have an inner strength to tap into.Its the same strength that allowed you to be courageous enough in the past to examine the JW doctrine and history.
Be gentle with yourself as you contemplate these changes. Then feel the fear and do it anyway
As far as feeling disdain for religion-it's perfectly NORMAL to feel disdain for something that causes you pain!You are grieving, and anger and blame are a part of that process for most people.And take it from me, ex JWs are NOT the only ones who feel that way. It's not as if you are going to take the leap away from the JWs and end up in a world where everyone else is religious. Also, you can feel disdain for something, while still allowing others the right to love what you hate (it takes a little while to be able to do this, after being a member of the "us against them" JWs, but it WILL happen with time).
By the way, congratulations for getting to THIS point! Education is so important, and you are well on your way to acheiving that goal. Just take it step by step and slow down emotionally when it all starts feeling like too much to handle. LOL, and the run is probably the BEST thing you could've done for yourself-keep that up, too.
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Dansk
Five out of my six family members who were once JWs, myself included, don't feel like we're JWs anymore - so we'll never always be one! As far as we're concerned it's over!!
Ian
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Bumble Bee
No.
There are stages you go through.
First I considered myself an "inactive" JW, then a "fading" JW, now an Ex-JW, and hopefully in the future I'll beable to move on from that title as well.
All this takes some time, and you move on to the next phase when you are ready. Don't rush things, take your time, you'll know.
BB