Hanging out with JWs after you no longer believe (page 2)

BabaYaga

The beginning of tolerance finds us becoming more intolerant of intolerance.

(I just made that up but I think it may be profound! ha!)

I, too, hope I can get past this phase... I find myself becoming more and more OPEN about expressing myself (i.e. not being able to keep my mouth shut!) to loved ones who are still in.

Cheers
Baba

Homerovah the Almighty

To say making your way out of this religion is easy is an understatement, I just quietly walked away without a mummer and let the family and friends continue on

I just respectfully said no thank you I still consider Witnesses friendly acquittance's, even though my closest of are not JWS.

I just consider it their problem to solve and let it be at that.........and it is theirs.

Open mind

Nvr said:

"I don't know how anyone can go to the meetings after knowing the truth about the "truth".

Not judging, in fact I admire the ability to compartmentalize the bullshit."

I'm a fairly talented "compartmentalizer". Only problem is I think the whites of my eyes are starting to turn brown.

Does that mean my "compartment" is leaking?

:-0

Open Mind

choosing life

Emy,

That's a great story! It gives me hope that my husband will wake up one day. Your husband is very patient. How nice for both of you.

I recently attended a jw event of about 20 women. It was interesting, but mostly just chit chat, not too much jw speak. Most were nice to me as I am not dfd, but havn't attended a meeting in the past 2 years. A few looked at me with suspicious eyes and kept a respectable difference.

Before I quit attending though, the meetings would make me come unglued. I left to maintain my sanity. I think disassociating is playing by their rules. If I decide to do something and get "caught", the fade will come to it's natural conclusion. No judicial meetings, no sheparding visits. They will have to have their party by themselves, as I will not participate in any way. I owe them absolutely nothing and they are not my judges in any sense of the word.

"Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

truthseeker

Dude, your story echos mine.

Once your belief system is gone, you ask yourself "exactly what do I have in common with these people?"

I used to think these were my brothers, but it's only the belief system that keeps the social group think together.

Purza

My fade succeeded when I moved away. I was forgotten.

After about three years I slowly contacted some of the "weak" JW friends that I had. I have found the contact to be good and we rarely ever discuss anything having to do with the religion. That being said, I don't spend a lot of time with these people, but we get together now and then. It allows me to find out what is happening with some of the old JWs I used to know and there is no pressure to return. Not any (so far). So I guess if you pick the right people to hang with, you might just be okay.

Purza

freeme

B_Deserter!

Same here, pal! Im fading, hardly go to meetings, cant stand the stuff from the podium. even feel more tolerance like you.

But i cant make a clean break, because i love my family and friends.

What ive done so far is the following: becoming more friends with "weak" brothers/sisters and becoming fewer friends with "strong" brothers/sisters.
i learned from some brothers and sisters that they're doubting too. most of them doubting in a different way then me, but they're no jws who likely would shun me. i may be wrong about some of them but its a start. it gives me hope for the future.

its a weired feeling when the "strong" ones come up with their old phrases like copied from a WT. i can simulate my jw behaviour but i feel so wrong about it...

oompa

Homerovah: To say making your way out of this religion is easy is an understatement, I just quietly walked away without a mummer and let the family and friends continue on

I have murmmered prettly loud, voiced my questions, etc. How much grief/shock/tears from your wife/family?

I can barely make myself go even once a month now, and part of the reason is how little I really have in common all but 2 or 3 there.

I need a new club....oompa

shopaholic

B_Deserter,

We're in a similar situation except I've decided I don't want to DA myself. I've already stopped hanging out with JW's except my pretend boyfriend, which I'll cut loose very soon.

Homerovah,

I'm considering a similar approach. How did you let your family and friends know that you no longer considered yourself part of the org? Did you gather them together and tell them or did you let them discover it through the natural progression of conversation?

marmot

I find my fade has been going really well because I don't have any anger or ill-will towards anyone at the hall. I don't consider myself a member of the watchtower organization, but at the same time I don't begrudge others their beliefs.

If it's a comfort for them, let them have it. If they truly want to open their mind to something better then they will do it but I see it as counter-productive to try and forcefully dictate to them that they are wrong.

It would be nice if more JWs could have a tolerant attitude along these lines. You tend to be much happier.

Hanging out with JWs after you no longer believe

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