Questions about the rules of marriage (page 2)

4mylove

Okay, so who do you hook up with in Paradise? Your old spouse or you new one? Don't get it. I thought that was the whole point?

Sad emo

I know a non-witness whose JW wife divorced him and remarried, that was about 20 years ago. It wasn't for adultery.

Maybe some congs excercise some 'compassion'/discretion?

yknot

Brent

Your mom should get the divorce!

My mother stayed with an abusive JW for 20 years, after divorcing him he committed adultery shortly there after with another JW.

Chances are good that his drinking will lead him to a bar......and the rest will just fall into place! I have never met a drunk who didn't blame their drinking on their relationships.

Much Love to you and yours

Y

flanny

I can answer this as I have personally gone through a similar scenario.

I finally divorced my verbally abusive non-witness husband about a year ago. I followed all the rules and procedures for around 6 years. I left him twice but tried to work on it per all the WTS articles. Then one day I thought-screw it!. I don't like this man and I am not going to expose myself or my daughter to his toxicity any longer. I had been inactive for a few months by this time and when I finally went to the brothers it was about 10 months or so since I had been to meetings. I met with the brothers to share with them what had happened between me and my ex. They were familiar with the history of his abuse. At that time, I was told that I would not be able to remarry until he committed fornication. In my mind I thought (actually I think I even verbally told them) that is never going to happen. One, the man is completely inept emotionally and second, I am pretty sure he is gay. However due to his whole pile of other issues he will never deal with that. I got some acknowledging head nods but was then promptly told I need to not wear such revealing/tight clothes as I am a single sister now and don't want to solicit unwanted attention. I didn't realize that Ann Taylor designed such bawdy fashions. Watch out ladies!!

4mylove

Live you life honey, none of them are worth it. Your only goal now is to find happiness!

greendawn

Once the spouse dies the remaining spouse is freed from the marriage vow and can remarry.

As for having a useless and dangerous husband I don't know the JW position, in the gospel only fornication is grounds for divorce, but logically that should also validate it.

BrentR

Yknot, my dad does not drink but has untreated clinical depression and anger control problems. I am glad I did not go down that road and got help when I was 19. We are as opposite as you can possibly get when it comes to attitude and personality. It drives me insane that he won't address his problem and he and my mom are both miserable. I have tried everything and finaly had to "wash my hands" of the whole scene to protect myself.

Numinous

My husband had left me after 17 years and was gone 2 years before I finally filed for divorce. I was legally responsible for anything that would happen to him, so to me it was logical to divorce. Just having a friend in the world who was a man, not having a sexual relationship with him, was enough for the axe to fall. I believe I was DFed on the breaking of the principle of one flesh, even tho nothing happened and, believe it or not, the subject regarding sex never even came up. Too bizarre.

WTWizard

This is the last I heard, and that was way back in the 1990s (and thus might be out of date):

You can remarry under two conditions. Either the spouse dies, or the spouse commits adultery (and there has been too much stupid debate as to whether homosexuality or bestiality counts as adultery). In the latter case, there are so many hoops to go through in showing the hounders that adultery actually did happen, and if you resume sexual activity after knowing about the adultery (while waiting for the interminably long wait for the hounders to OK it and then keep pulling out the permission several times) that you might as well just go ahead and commit fornication.

They also have "separations". These are granted when cases of extreme physical abuse (and there will be much guilt and hounding to stay together anyway), absolute endangerment of spirituality, or willful non-support of the family. In such cases, the person is not free to remarry and remain a Witless in good standing. Again, you have to wait for the other person to commit fornication or "adultery" by remarrying first before you are free.

Of course, you can always go out and commit fornication. The best time for this is the first time the hounders give you a hard time about marrying. Then you can say that the hounders stumbled you by making you wait for them to create more problems.

BluesBrother

Their own comments

g04 5/8 p. 21 Why View Marriage as Sacred?

Our view of marriage is also shown by the advice we offer to those with serious marital problems. Are we quick to recommend separation or divorce? True, there may be times when valid grounds for a separation exist, such as when there is extreme physical abuse or willful nonsupport. Also, as noted above, the Bible allows for divorce only when one’s mate is guilty of fornication. Still, Christians should not unduly influence the decision of others in such situations. After all, it is the person with the marital problem—not the one giving the advice—who will live with the consequences of the decision.—Galatians 6:5, 7.

NB the best time to be "unfaithful" if you have really made up your mind to leave him/her? is as soon as possible . Then get the divorce and if you want to be reinstated it will be over and done with in a few months - and with a lot of sympathy from the others whom you will tell about your first marriage problems

Questions about the rules of marriage

Share this