Spouses of JW's who attend meetings but never get baptized

by Bonnie_Clyde 12 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bonnie_Clyde

  I know one who has attended meetings for 42 years, he knows it's a bunch of crap, but he loves his wife and doesn't want to mess up their relationship. He is actually quite wealthy--maybe that makes a difference. He doesn't have to worry about how to pay the bills. He dresses very business-like and when he attends assemblies, people have no idea that he is really an "unbeliever."

  Every now and then, a JW (usually a sister) tries to put him on a guilt trip (what's holding you back?) His wife has tried to get him to get baptized for years, to no avail. He now tells his wife, "If I were baptized, I wouldn't be able to talk to my disfellowshipped children." They have a book study in their home--he explained to Clyde that the only reason he allows it is so his wife doesn't have to go out at night. He sees all the hypocrisy and the scullduggery in the congregation. Don't know he stands it, but he has always prided himself in being able to get along with anyone.
• 

  Honesty

  There is one in my last kh, too.

  He sleeps during the meetings and when asked if he wants a 'Bible Study' just says that he can't read or write.

  He's worth a couple of million in real estate and liquid assests.

  I believe he just goes to the meetings to keep peace in the home.
• 

  jaguarbass

  I've had a few of them in my halls in the past also.
• 

  jgnat

  Hey, count me in that number, though I am scrupulously inconsistent in my meeting attendance. The invitations start out pleasant enough, but become desperate over time. They try guilting me (support your husband), they try guilting him (we miss your wife at the meetings). After a while, it's like I've got a freaking mole growing out of my chin. They can't run away fast enough.

  Thankfully, my self-esteem can handle their rejection. I get plenty of strokes elsewhere.
• 

  Numinous

  I have often wondered if I would have the capacity to go to meetings just to please my husband. I think I would stay home and stay as far away as possible from the "friends" to avoid any unnecessary conflicts. I have known two men who have gone to meetings because their wives and children believed--for 30 years or more, but I have never seen a wife of a believer do this.
• 

  sosad

  I never thought of it but I never noticed an unbellieving wife attending either! Now i am the "unbelieving mate' which makes me laugh every Sunday morning when I get up and go to mass with my husband and three kids. It is the right thing for me to do for a number of reasons, but neither my husband nor my kids are under any illusions about me converting. I don't mind helping with the social aspects of attending a church - it's been about three years since the youngest was born and the others really really really wanted baby brother to come.

  I was furious to be put in the position of having to- or feeling like I had to go. But it was a dealbreaker for my husband when we got married and so I thought about it for several years and finally felt ok with our kids being raised in the Church. It's interesting that with all the challenges to his faith I threw at him, he became an UBER Catholic but that is another thread

  Now it's habit- and a family habit at that - I am not a fan but I love being with my family and they are young enough that I think it is important. I also think it is important for them to see that mommy is not a Cathloic but is still a good person, etc etc.

  I am interested in what my future self will do when it is not about going for the kids.... but I do think of the the unbelieving guys that came with their wives to the halls I attended
• 

  helncon

  I'm not sure if my grandfather ever attended meetings but i know that the JWs always visited their house for social gatherings it was the place to be.

  He still gets visits from the JWs every now and again but it wore off while i iwas living there.

  He doesnt believe in it at all and he thinks its to involved and he now dislikes them even more so on what they have made his family become.

  Helen
• 

  blondie

  I've know several non-jw spouses who attended the meetings for years but never studied or were baptized. According to WT doctrine these people will die at Armageddon. I heard a talk given by a CO at a circuit assembly where these people were called "corpses" and the people married to them were "kissing corpses." But then a PO who liked one of the husbands found it hard to believe that they would die at Armageddon despite the official WT dogma. Many jws just fool themselves by having personal ideas and secretly refuse to accept the official doctrine.

  Blondie
• 

  greendawn

  They are the smart ones they know how to be diplomatic so as to keep out of entering the cultic danger zone and keep their spouse happy. They obviously saw the JW hypocrisy and know what they really stand for.
• 

  Honesty

  The reason that UBM's who are females don't attend the meetings with their JW husbands is because they are smart enough to know better than to give the JW's an opportunity to shame their husbands in front of them.

  And... female UBM's have more cojones than male UBM's.