Ok, so maybe I didn't take as long a break from here as first expected, but i've accomplished what I wanted. I've had a good week of being able to take alot of time and think. I've cleared up many things that have been floating around in my mind lately, thus leaving me less stressed.
As far as Borg stuff goes......
The CO and PO stopped by unannounced last week, even after I cancelled the scheduled meeting with him. I'm finally going to be deleted as an MS thankfully. I figure that now i'm in the clearing...I hope. The BOE doesn't check on me much, and it seems like the only did recently so that they can tell the CO that they've done all they can to help. Now that i'm no longer a full time magazine salesman pioneer and the BOE's slave MS, I think I will be hearing even less from them now.
The rest of the congregation acts very strangely around me now. When I see them out in public now, many of them just wave at a distance and keep on there merry way. The ones that do talk to me don't even mention JW stuff to me anymore. I'm not sure if they think i'm still depressed or what, but perhaps they just don't know what to say to me. Even some of my so called "friends" aren't even the same with me. One that told me he considered me a very close friend hardly said anything at all to me when I ran into him the other day. He just said a quick "hello" to me, had a long conversation with one of my siblings and was on his way. And he's one of the ones that I really wanted to fade for so that I preserve our friendship. This has only shown me further that's it almost isn't worth it to go through the trouble to fade for friends. They know i'm here for them always, and it's up to them if they want to keep the relationship going.
My father doesn't even question me about meetings anymore. He's just about given up hope and said...."if he has the right heart condition he'll go back eventually". My mother has actually asked me a couple times within the a week if I still plan on going back. She hates that I got treated like crap by the BOE in recent months, but she said the congregation still needs me.
Overall, i'm finally glad to be moving on from the Borg, even if it's little by little. I feel more free with each passing week. I truly am thankful that I realized what I was into and got out at a young age(even though i'm technically still in, but you get the point). I of course still want to go to still be back to college. I'm not sure right now if it will still be in January when I go back but we'll see. I have alot of traveling that I want to do, so I want to get all of that out of my system before I start.
I'm also considering volunteering in the Big Brothers Big Sisters program...as a Big Brother of course. That's something I wanted to do even while an active Borg member, but I just didn't have the time.
Life is great, and I intend to keep living in the now, enjoying every minute that i'm alive and breathing.
Thank you all for being here for me. The last few months have been very rocky for me, but you all have helped me to a great degree in smoothing out things.
So i'm officially back now................but I don't know if thats bad or good for the rest of you.
Robert(still not afraid to use my name here. If I get found out then I just do.)