Need your advice or ideas

REBORNAGAIN

My Ex will be moving into his new home this weekend. Eventually he plans a housewarming party (according to my son). Housewarming party? We never had one while I was married to him. Anyway, my son wants me to be invited *howsweet* and for him I would love to go. Now my question to you all, should I go? What should I do? Any suggestions on gifts or on my behavior?

I thought about going into his home with muddy shoes. *heehee*

When I had my housewarming party in May 2006, I don't think I invited my Ex, *forgot* because as a JW, I didn't think he'd want to be there anyway.

Btw, last night I dreamed him & I got remarried. That was more like a nightmare.

LINDA

Gopher

Housewarming present? Maybe an empty box?

skeeter1

I don't know the details of your past marraige. But, short of him being a rapist or a stalker, I'd go. Why? Your son. Bury the past. One day your son will get married, have kids, etc. You son wants to see mom & dad at least able to be cordial & to visit with each other. What are you two going to do? I'm going to the wedding, but my ex to the reception? I'm going to visit the grandbaby on Monday, but the ex is going on Tuesday? Just do it for your son's sake. You don't have to stay long..... perhaps you can bring him a toilet wand?

REBORNAGAIN

Well, like I was saying, for my son, I want to go, and if his dad refuses to invite me, hmmm...I'd hate to think what my son would think

LINDA

Dansk

I agree with skeeter!

Now my question to you all, should I go? What should I do? Any suggestions on gifts or on my behavior?

If you and your ex can bury the past then go. Don't be offensive at the party. Be charming and people will see what a jewel your ex has lost - and, more to the point, your son will be ecstatic.

Ian

emy the infidel

Linda, that's so nice that he would *invite* you. Surely, you'll be <sigh> too busy to go (shucks!). You and your girlfriend can't miss an outing afterall.

As for a gift, a fancy container of mixed nuts (like from Plow and Hearth) is an indirect way of showing how you really feel. (yeah, I've done it! LOL)

Me and my ex were always on *good terms*. I gave him a fruit cake one year for xmas, he knew I didn't really celebrate xmas. But seriously, other than some passive aggressive behavior we got along really well and our son benefited greatly from it. Bless you, b/c you have the added dysfunction of witlessness to deal with. Hope that helps.

OnTheWayOut

Your son wants you to go. He may have delusions of a "happily ever after" family with
the ex and you together again. Even if that's not the case, he expects it to be special
to have the two of you at one place for his sake.

If you both can't actually be civil, and the ex can't actually "INVITE" you officially, I would
advise not going. Don't go to be a spoiler. Don't go if you think you can be civil, but your
ex will blow his top. Don't play any games in front of the son.

You have many of your son's special events to attend over the years. If each one of them
is going to be miserable with both of you present, he'll hate it. Most events are on neutral
ground. So going to a graduation or a ball game isn't the same as invading the ex's turf
or having them invade yours. You can remain distant at neutral ground, but not here.

REBORNAGAIN

TO DANSK:

He's the one who's been shunning me. I'm always sending him emails and he never responds to them I never had plans to hate him or act like a Jdub and stoop to his level and despise him.

LINDA

Btw, he shows no emotion when he's around me, no anger, no kindness, no nothing.

skeeter1

If ex refuses to invite you, don't put your son in the middle of choosing betweem his mom and dad. Go directly to the ex, and tell him the reasons you want to go, promise to be on good behavior, and follow through. If ex still refuses, don't go & don't say a word to your son unless he asks. Then assure him that you are not asking him to choose sides. Putting kids between their parents can give them all sorts of psychological issues of wanting to win other people's approval.

Dorktacular

If he invites you, go. And, if you can, buy him the nicest housewarming present you possibly can afford. Kill 'em with kindness, I always say.

Well, I don't always say that. Most of the time I say f#$k them up their stupid a$$es, but that wouldn't be nice.

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