This has taken a LOT of courage to post. My life with the JW’s has been one hardship after another. I am sharing this to help others see that JW’s claim to be loving and forgiving people while they are NOT. I was always taught you "Will know your brothers by the love that they show". Over and over again that proved to be false, unfortunately it took me 26 years to realize this and I would never want another to experience the same pain I have or others have.
I was born in 1965 to a family established in the JW faith. My father was baptized at the age of 9 and my mother was studying at the time to become a JW.
My mother left us when I was 2 years due to my father’s mistreatment.
1967 we were sent to live with my grandmother a pioneer for 10 years.
1969 my father raped me when I was just four years old. I can remember the stench of his sweating body mixed with Old Spice to this day. I can also remember this Ministerial Servants harsh word to me, my father called me a whore along with my Grandmother who said you are just like your Mother, as she sprayed me with the hose to “clean” me up.
1971 My mother committed suicide taking away all hope that she could rescue me from my father and grandmother. My father was appointed Elder in our congregation, and still continued his deviant ways with me. The abuse that took place in that house was not only sexual but also physical. Making us kneel on top of heating vents, locking us in the cellar, beating the crap out of us and so on.
1974 I was allowed to enter the 1st grade at the age of 9. I was not allowed to go to school before this due to the “End” coming in 1975. Social Services made my grandmother and father enter my brother and myself into school.
1975-1976 My father still an Elder continued his ritualistic torture of myself. To add insult to injury he had another Elder join with him in tormenting me. During one such episode while at the others elders house (his wife and children were away) this elder beat his dog to death in front of me for barking. The dog was responding to my screams. The Elder in question told me that if I did not shut up the same would happen to me.
1976 I went to the elders in my congregation to report the sexual abuse. It still amazes me to this day that it took the killing of a dog to come forward.
The elders in my congregation ignored my pleas for help, they asked if I had 2 witnesses and of course I did not. They told me, to repeat anything I had told them would be considered slanderous without 2 witnesses.
What kills me even more is they did learn of the dog being beaten to death and still ignored my pleas.
1977 My father was removed from being an elder and publicly reproved for having sexual relations with his soon to be 17-year-old bride.
1978 My father stopped sexually abusing me because I started my period. The physical abuse continued. It even went beyond our family. He beat up a 15 year old outside a fast food restaurant for saying something smart to my brother. This incident made the papers. My father still was not disfellowshiped. Nothing became of this incident in the hall although my father served jail time and was put on probation.
1979 My grandmother dies and eulogized as a “saint” in our hall. My half-sister is born.
1979-1981 My father continued to abuse alcohol and beat us, including my stepmother, whom I tried to defend and “save”. My brother and sister run away from home to get away from my abusive father. This leads them into a life of drugs and prostitution.
1982 I was baptized and eloped with a brother twice my age to escape my father. We left the area and my father was relentless in his pursuit of me. (We did not break any laws biblically or civilly). Writing letters to our new hall with the support of the brothers in my old hall my father tried to no avail to get the brother disfellowshiped and me sent back home.
1982-1989 Continue to serve Jehovah in every way directed by the WTBTS.
July 1989 My sister in law murders my nieces 8 months old and 18 months old, critically injuries my step nephew who spent 3 months in intensive care for trying to stop her. I go to NY to bury my nieces because my brother was broken in everyway possible. He had cleaned up his act with drugs and was trying to be a respectable citizen. The Witness brother who rented the home to my brother is rude and not helpful in any way. Even making me clean up the mess that was left after the murders.
While in NY hundreds of “ worldly” people come to my aid. Paying for funeral expenses, hotel rooms, rental cars, food etc. I was gone approximately 2 weeks.
I go back home to deal with my failing marriage, 2 daughters ages 8 months and 2 also a foster child aged 1 and a half. My husband attempts suicide. While going through all this grief to include my nieces being murdered and my husband suicide attempt followed shortly after by his leaving me for another woman I ask you HOW MANY TIMES did the brothers come to visit? ONE time ONCE. Yes I was in good standing I was a good little sister did everything I was told. From the time of my nieces death to my husband leaving it was approximately 1 and a half months.
I had to find work after my husband left.He did nothing to support his children. I started working two jobs and did NOT attend all the meetings and go out in field service regularly.
Still no VISITS from the brothers. I called my best friend a sister whom I had helped in times of need for 50 dollars to help with expenses. She told me because I was not relying on Jehovah and attending all the meetings she could NOT help me. I was devastated. I thought I had done everything right. Jehovah was not going to pay my mortgage or food bills or car payments. This is when I looked back at the “worldly” peoples kindness in NY after the murder of my nieces and SAW that this could not be the true religion.
1990 I drifted from the “truth”.
1992 My father is CONVITED for molesting my half sister and some of her witness friends. AGAIN he is NOT disfellowshiped. He spends 2 years in jail.
1995 My father attempts suicide I am called to his bedside because I am the only relative they could locate. My father is in a coma. The doctors tell me he is steadily deteriorating and ask would I like to remove him from life support? This is one of the hardest decisions I have ever been forced to make. I hated my father for what he took from me and forced upon me.
I go ahead with removing him from life support after doctors assure me that there is no way he will survive. My father arrived at the hospital barley conscious and fell into the coma and stayed that way for two weeks. I state this because I did not know where to turn to have him buried. Or how to go about it. I call one of the elders at my old hall who informs me that there is NO WAY they will allow him to be buried by a brother because he consciously accepted blood. I am not defending my father BUT how the hell could they know he consciously accepted anything? Were they there at the ER? NO could they have gotten his medical records? NO.
Never once did this elder mention all my fathers’ wrong doing against others to include trying to shoot my stepmother after they were divorced. Just he took blood and we can’t bury him.
1995 I tried to go to a Episcopalian church I did not like it but my ex-mother in law attended and took both my daughters on the weekends. She would keep them for me while I worked all weekend long. I was raising them as a single parent. Both of my daughters were sexually molested at the hands of Richard Wescott Weaverling who worked in the church nursery. He pleads guilty to molesting the children and is serving a 64-year sentence. Due to laws in VA he will not be up for parole until the year 2048 and when he does come up for parole it will be denied.
1997 I can’t handle the pain that was brought into my daughter’s lives and my own old memories caused by my father and his friend and try to end my life. I spend 4 weeks in the hospital.
1997 I marry my present husband who serves this country in the US army.
There are things I have not written about but this is/was my life.
I now consider myself a survivor of sexual abuse and a cult. I work as a Victim Advocate.
To those of you who have made it to the end of this rather long story I just hope you will research the ways of the JW’s and take time to examine their belief system. Any religion for that matter. After both of my experiences with religion I do not look to organized religion as being a path to God. I am still looking for what I consider the right path and am just now really examining the belief system of the JW’s myself. I find so much hypocrisy there it amazes me. The only thing I can say is think for oneself and always stand up for what you believe to be right. Please don’t let another decide how you can live your life, for it almost cost me my life,sanity and my daughters respect when I tried to end my life.
C
When the pain of being where we are, becomes greater than our fear of letting go...we will risk and heal and grow.