Howdy. Some questions were asked, so I'll try to get to them all in this reply.
As far as my membership status, I'm still a member on the records of the LDS church. I was baptised into it when I was 8, and haven't been excommunicated or voluntarily resigned. I probably will someday, but for now I've been content, due to social reasons involving my wife and family, to just go "inactive" and stop believing in it. I'm intellectually and spiritual an apostate, but technically still a member. My bishop actually knows my current belief status, but my impression is that he's willing to just leave the status quo as is so as not to force my hand and possible result in my wife and daughter both not going anymore.
If I were to go around spreading my apostate ideas with my local wardmembers (an LDS congregation or parish is called a "ward"), I would first be warned, and then be hauled in to a church disciplinary hearing and excommunicated for apostasy. As long as I remain unidentified and limit my public expressions of disbelief to the Internet, I think I'm safe. I don't think my bishop knows about my online apostate activity. I'm not going to volunteer that info though. I won't be hauled into a disciplinary action. If anything like that starts, I'll hand in a letter of resignation immediately.
As far as the coffee goes, you'll always, in any church, have some people who don't toe the line 100%, but in the Mormon church, amongst those who are considered "active" in the church, you'll find that by far the overwhelming majority of Mormons really don't drink coffee, tea, smoke, or drink alcohol. It's not unheard of for some LDS to fall off the wagon, as it were, in High School, and then repent and go serve their missions and be card-carrying members for the rest of their lives, but the standard is for none of these things to happen, and quite often they don't.
There are more ex-mormon forums and such than I know. I only participate in two Mormon-related forums. One is run by an ex-mo and one is run by a faithful Mormon. The mormon-run board is an apologetics site. You would at best get a very skewed view of what most Mormons actually believe from the apologetics site, because the more indefensible traditional Mormon beliefs experience a paring back of their claims when apologists get their hands on them. The ex-mo run site is www.mormondiscussions.com, and the mormon-run apologetics site is www.mormonapologetics.org.
I've actually turned into an atheist. I don't proclaim that there is definitely no God. I just believe that there is no good evidence supporting the existing of a God, there's no good reason why there being a God is necessary in the universe, and absent evidence that one exists, and absent any questions which cannot be answered except by invoking God, I conclude that there probably isn't one. Having lost my belief in Mormonism, which I thought offered "the Truth" about God, and a conduit for personal revelation from God to the individual, I regard the claims of pretty much everyone to having some kind of insight into the existing and nature of God to lack any credibility. I don't think anyone on Earth has any credibility about the God issue. Which makes sense, since I've come to believe that human beings almost certainly invented God.
God didn't make us in his own image. We evolved, and then created God in our image.
