My mother......sheesh!

by ex-nj-jw 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    For those who missed the drama, you can check it out here if you wish to www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/140100/1.ashx

    For those who know a little about my past and my mother - she had the nerve to call me today and leave an urgent message for me to call her. I thought it was about my dad or that something bad had happened since her last comment to me was that I was dead to her, or something to that effect.

    Anyway, with my heart in my throat I called her:

    Me: Mom, it's me returning your call is everything ok?

    Mom: Oh, hey honey how are you? I haven't heard from you and was wondering how you were doing.

    Me: I'm fine..............

    Mom: Well you don't call me anymore and I was worried.

    Me: You told me not to contact you, remember?

    Mom: I know I just want so much for you to come back to Jehovah and have everlasting life. You know the bible gives us this loving arrangement to guide those who have left Jehovah and aid them into coming back as not to miss out on everlasting life. Don't you want to live forever? Don't you want your kids and grandchildren to live forever?

    Me: No I don't want to live forever. What I want is to enjoy the life I have now. I want to continue to watch my children grow up and for our relationship to mature and eventually enjoy grandchildren. I want to be healthy enough to enjoy these things and die old, happy and as healthy as I can be. I want to have a relationship with my firstborn son, I want to have a relationship with you and dad and for you to enjoy your grandchildren that you have cut yourself off from. As for Jehovah, I was never with Jehovah. Jehovah was forced on me, it was what you wanted, so no I will never return to Jehovah or the WTBTS.

    Mom: You sound so angry, I don't want you to be unhappy (I stopped her here)

    Me: Yes I am angry, I'm angry because I don't and have never felt LOVE from my mother. I'm angry because I feel that the organization you choose to devote your life to has in part caused you to be a mother unable to give unconditional love. But I don't think I sound angry to you right now. I'm past that, I've accepted it for what it is and I've moved on. I think you need to also. As far as being happy, I am happy. My life is good, it could be better if I could accomplish some of the personal things I mentioned to you earlier, that would make me a happier person because I'd have my mother and my father and my son in my life. But, If I can't have you in my life because you love me and accept me for who I am then no, that won't make me happy. If the only way I can have you in my life is to do things your way or as you would say "Jehovah's way" then no, that won't make me happy.

    Mom, are you happy? Are you happy having 7 children and only having a relationship with 3? I'm a mother and I think about L (my oldest) everyday. There is not 1 day that goes by that I don't wonder how he is, if he has what he needs, even though he's almost 25 I wonder if he's hungry, where he sleeps, what he's going through physically, mentally. If he has a girlfriend (or boyfriend). I wonder if he thinks of me and his dad (my husband adopted him, his sperm donor left before he was born) or his brothers.

    Mom, do you miss me? Do you love me? Will you ever be able to accept me for the person I am and have grown up to be?

    Mom: Of course I love you and I'm sorry for that letter I sent you. But because you will not accept Jehovah I'm torn between doing what is right and being in your life.

    At this point I told her I had to go, I'm at work. I just couldn't stand another word. Just when I think I'm strong enough to repel anything she could possibly do or say to hurt my feelings, she breaks through my repellant. I'm off to the lab to invent a stronger repellant

    I just needed to vent - thanks for listening.

    nj

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    It's a real pisser, isn't it. This religion makes both of you unhappy. She's unhappy because she HAS to follow

    their rules in her mind in order to receive the "reward", and you're unhappy because you KNOW it's all bulls*&t

    and you are powerless to remedy it. So sorry, dear, especially for your son.

  • megsmomma
    megsmomma

    It is just ridiculous! It is hard to believe people are so brainwashed that they stop useing their own minds and reasdon and resort to missing out on their own families. Soooo sad. I'm sorry! Stay strong.

  • dawg
    dawg

    Sounds just like the guilt trip I hear everytime I see JW family members. I feel for you and wish you happiness.... sorry your life mirrors mine. Huff

  • BFD
    BFD

    ((((nj))))

    I'm glad she apologized for sending that nasty letter. I think that you handled yourself very lovingly. Cults suck!

    BFD

  • bigwilly
    bigwilly

    Ex, I can't tell you how many similar conversations with my parental units I've had over the years. Oddly enough, they always called me at work. I think it was because they knew I wouldn't be able to express my true thoughts due to having an audience. I admire that you still put forth the effort to communicate with your mother and wish I had the same bullshit tolerance. You did a very good job of communicating your pain and frustration without attacking her, and managed not to reach thru the phone and strangle her when she reregurgitated the dub stuff. Good job on your part and you have my respect.

  • free2think
    free2think

    (((((nj)))))

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    She never ceases to amaze me! I talked to hubby and told him about it, his cure for everything mom does - let's go get Thai food tonight have a couple of drinks, kick the kids out and have wild crazy sex ! After 2 seconds of thinking "it's all about you" I said OK! sounds like a plan to me.

    I love my hubby!

    Thanks to you guys for listening to my vent and the hugs

    nj

  • Life Is Grand
    Life Is Grand

    Your hubby sounds like one smart cookie!!!

    LIG

  • free2think
    free2think
    his cure for everything mom does - let's go get Thai food tonight have a couple of drinks, kick the kids out and have wild crazy sex

    i think you got a good'un there nj.

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