I know for her it is complicated

oblivious

"My girlfriend was raised JW she was'nt allowed to use the phone, and was brought up very strict to say the least. She has a 4 year old daughter, and recently moved back home with her family were she lives in their living room. She can't call me and our only communication is through emails, when she can sneak to the computer. I love her, and I am worried about her. She is 33 and can't call me. I am also worried about her daughter.She is very intelligent and a probably the best parent I have ever met. I know for her it is complicated. My question is will her family ever like someone who is not jehovas witness and what type of sacrafice does she make to be with me." I have read a little bit on previous posts and I a few things are clear now. A few more things make sense. This women was my first love back in highschool and we were recently reunited shared some great times she met my whole family, and we have recently seperated, but we still talk in the hopes we can work something out. She is not trying to convert me. Like I said I love her and I'm afraid her dad caught her emailing me, I havent heard from her in a while, a week which is a long time for us. why would she move in with her parents she saId it was financial, and living with her sister and her family is was stressful(I can vouch for that) Could she be pregnant? I feel kinda helpless. What can I do to help her. I love her (I am 32 I have learned the you can't help those who dont want help lesson) Again though I love her and her daughter I've read previous advice to people in similar situations, but I believe my situation to be quite different. Thanks

ex-nj-jw

Welcome to JWD, sorry I'm gonna be no help on this one but I'm sure there will be others coming along any time now, maybe even someone that has been or is still in your same situation.

She is 33 and can't call me

This kinda of crap pisses me off, she's a grown a$$ woman not a 13 year old!

nj

mrsjones5

She is 33 and can't call me

Good Lord she's 33 and letting her parents treat her like she's 16. Spineless. Are you sure you want this woman?

Happy Harvester

Call the Department of Social Services in her town and ask them to please check on the well-being of the 4-year-old. It's probably too late for your gf, but maybe not for her daughter. Jeez! I wanna' puke.

reneef

She can't use the phone? That's extreme.

JK666

oblivioous,

First of all, welcome to JWD!

Your situation with your girlfriend is strange even within the JW context. Her parents are obviously control freaks. Are you sure that you want to get intertwined with this group of potential in-laws?

You mentioned that she might be pregnant. I assume that you would be the father, and that you have done enough hanky & panky to cause this to happen. If her parents knew that she was pregnant, or had sex outside of marriage, they will s**t their pants. If they suspect it, that may be why they are clamping down on her.

Do you know if she wants to continue being a JW, or is just going through the motions to stay at the homestead. I would probably move on if she intends on staying a Witness. Way too complicated if you want to have some semblence of a normal life.

Good luck and welcome again.

JK

firefly

I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but let me say that as hard as it may be, you may have to just let this woman go.

I was, up until recently involved in a serious relationship with a second generation witness (i myself am of the baptist faith). he was disfellowshipped shortly before we met, and His family and the church elders put a great deal of pressure on him to break off his relationship with me. I was very much in love with him and had grown to love his 5 year old son, but the inner turmoil that my ex was being put through caused him to end things with me and leaving my heart shattered.

If you would stay with her it would never get any easier. You would most likely never be accepted by her family and she would be living with a great deal of guilt and constantly struggle between her feelings for you and her association with the JW's. From what i've ever read, the JW's usually end up winning.

I really think that there should be a support site for us "wordly" people who either are or have been in relationships with JW's. There seem to be so many of us and the situations never seem to be good ones.

I wish you the very best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

funkyderek

oblivious:

She is 33 and can't call me.

No. She is 33 and won't call you. Unless you're suggesting she's being held against her will. But it seems as if she's chosen to live in a house where she's not allowed call you, and where she's unwilling to challenge that rule. Maybe she doesn't love you as much as you love her.

Could she be pregnant?

You tell us.

I've read previous advice to people in similar situations, but I believe my situation to be quite different.

Yeah, everyone always does.

Clam

Buy her a cellphone.

Sirona

I agree with Derek.

Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult, but I will tell you this: if she wanted to call you she certainly could.

She must take out her daughter, and I suspect she owns a mobile phone. Even if she has no mobile, there are pay phones. She must go out without her parents, so why can't she meet you? The answer is that she doesn't want to. She could hide your relationship from her parents but at the moment she is choosing the religion and her parents over you.

Unfortunately, most JWs choose the religion over others. That is why we have hundreds of people on this board who tell us about their family shunning them etc.

You need to challenge her and ask her why she won't call you.

Sirona

I know for her it is complicated

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