Children at the meetings, how did you cope

by Mrs Smith 29 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Saoirse
    Saoirse

    I always thought it was ridiculous that they didn't have some sort of Sunday school. I was expected to sit still but I was allowed to read the Bible Story or Great Teacher books. Non-JW books or games were forbidden. During assemblies, my older cousin used to make up theocratic puzzles, games and word searches for me. I must have been pretty good because I don't recall ever getting punished for not paying attention.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    Both my kids hated going to the KH. How could they not? It was totally boring for them. I could never understand how they were expected to sit still and quiet for hours on end like they were adults. My kids were raised in it up until my son was 9 and my daughter 11. We spent most of those years in the Hingham MA congregation and let me tell you, that congregation absolutely HATED children!

    People used to say out loud "why would anyone have kids so close to the end of the system" whenever it was revealed that a sister was expecting. Most of the congregation thought my kids were brats because I used to take them outside to walk around or for a drive in the middle of the meeting so they could get a break.

    Most of the parents there beat the living tare out of the poor kids and expected me to do the same. I am glad I left when the kids were still fairly young but they remember vividly how they felt unloved and unwanted by most of the members of the congregation.

    So, if anyone is in the Hingham MA kh with kids today, I hope the atmosphere has changed, if not, I feel sorry for you.

    I have to say though, before my hubby and I da'd, we transferred to the Holbrook MA congregation and they were wonderful with our kids. That hall even today is loaded with kids and the elders are pretty good to them. And I have heard horror stories about some halls that were worse than the Hingham one with children. Lilly

  • forsharry
    forsharry

    I would draw in the books much to my mother's chagrin (as a small child). The backs of the chairs were in a knotty pine so I would study them and find shapes, creatures, faces, etc (sorta like watching clouds?). As I got older I started taking notes...that's what kept me busy otherwise my mind would wander and that would be a bad thing if it did because that meant I wasn't taking what Jehovah was telling me seriously! (not kidding.)

  • yknot
    yknot

    When I was a child, there was no talking, fidgeting, or anything. It stayed that way until I was an adult.

    I on the other hand brought cheerios, water, coloring books etc, much to the disapproval of the BOE for my children.We take "breathers" and go outside. Interestingly we recently had the PO's Wife of the Spanish congregation start attending our book study to improve her English, she let her child run up and down the seats, dropping cheerios all along the way.....LOL she is a delightful 3 year old and made my kids look like complete angels.

    Kids will be kids, love them and cherish them.

    On another note the strictest parents are always converts.

  • Eliveleth
    Eliveleth

    What kind of Witnesses were you people? We used to take ours out and beat the crap out of them if they didn't sit like zombies for 2 hours.

    We were raised in the "old" WT mindset. Children were to sit quietly, no toys, no books (besides the WT) no food, no nothing. We were raised that way, we raised our kids that way. We were expected to.

    I feel so sorry now that I was so hard on my kids. It is inhuman to expect children to sit still for 2 hours or for 8 to 10 at the assemblies we went to. I remember the NW Yankee Stadium assembly of 1958. We would get there at 8 and not leave til 9 pm. It was hard on everyone, esp. children who were expected to sit and bear it without a whimper. God made children to be active. I now believe it is cruel to expect children to do nothing for that length of time. Since my husband was an elder from the time he was 17, more was expected of his children. We lived through the time when people were expected not to marry and if they did not to have children. It was a hard time for everyone. I suppose that people who did were seen as rebellious.

    I pray that everyone who takes their children to the KH will realize that it is not possible for them to sit without something to do and to spank them for just doing what kids do is unconscienable.

    I thank God that my grandchildren did not have to endure this. My children have forgiven me.

    Love and hugs,

    Velta

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    I HAD quite an encounter with the attendants. I WILL NOT LET THEM RULE ME!

    I am not afraid anymore, even if I have to leave the meeting

  • Bonnie_Clyde
    Bonnie_Clyde

    What kind of Witnesses were you people? We used to take ours out and beat the crap out of them if they didn't sit like zombies for 2 hours.

    We were raised in the "old" WT mindset. Children were to sit quietly, no toys, no books (besides the WT) no food, no nothing. We were raised that way, we raised our kids that way. We were expected to.

    I feel so sorry now that I was so hard on my kids. It is inhuman to expect children to sit still for 2 hours or for 8 to 10 at the assemblies we went to. I remember the NW Yankee Stadium assembly of 1958. We would get there at 8 and not leave til 9 pm. It was hard on everyone, esp. children who were expected to sit and bear it without a whimper. God made children to be active. I now believe it is cruel to expect children to do nothing for that length of time. Since my husband was an elder from the time he was 17, more was expected of his children. We lived through the time when people were expected not to marry and if they did not to have children. It was a hard time for everyone. I suppose that people who did were seen as rebellious.

    I pray that everyone who takes their children to the KH will realize that it is not possible for them to sit without something to do and to spank them for just doing what kids do is unconscienable.

    I thank God that my grandchildren did not have to endure this. My children have forgiven me.

    Eliveleth - I remember all that. I was 16 years old at the 1958 New York assembly, was faiarly new in the truth, and felt that I had a real spiritual experience. I remember a family who had five children and couldn't understand why the mother didn't make it every day for the sessions.

    Later, when I married and had kids, I remember our oldest son was extremely rambunctious. We took him out at least twice every meeting for a spanking. This is what we were taught. I remember a speaker who said that the books that said you should not spank your child should be used on their hind end.

    I will have to say that our son still grew up to be a fine young man. He left the "truth" about the same time that I did, and there's no way that he will take his children to those meetings and subject them to what he had to go through.

    I'm not totally against spanking, but it has to be for a lot bigger reason than not being able to sit still during the meetings.

  • datsdethspicable
    datsdethspicable

    that was one of the breaking points for me. Everytime my baby would gurgle, coo, or whimper ....here came "elder in the making" telling me to take her to the ladies room til she calms down. She wasn't even crying or loud. My mother had seen him targeting me and confronted him about getting on case for no apparent reason but it was already too late I had enough of the bull*&^^%

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    I coped with difficulty

  • LoverOfTruth
    LoverOfTruth

    I used to do the same with my children. I'd allow them color, draw, read books or sleep.

    As adults, my kids admit they had it much better than most of their JW friends.

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