Taking responsiblity for our Recovery

by purplesofa 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • avidbiblereader
    avidbiblereader

    Yes we are responsible, how I did it was for two full years, I could not read the Bible or pray, so hurt, disillusioned, angry and every other negative attitude, then one day it hit me

    "Stop taking out on God what men and an organization that I willing joined and has misalligned themselves as God's spokesman, so I returned to what I originally became a witness for in the first place, God's Word.

    This time without man made influence or for any other reason except, God deserves it and He is my Helper and Teacher with Christ

    I had it wrong for 22 years, glad God disciplined me to get out, I benefited

    Thankful,

    abr

  • Happy Harvester
    Happy Harvester

    Warning signs:

    staying in bed all day

    destructive thoughts

    exhaustion

    blowing things off

    I'm exhausted today.

    Stayed in bed til 3.

    Woke up thinking destructive, white rage kind of thoughts.

    took the dog for an exhausted walk.

    fed the dog & cats

    looked at the yard & said screw it; maybe it'll rain like it was supposed to do yesterday and the day before (can't remember)

    thought about how my destructive attitudes and behaviors would only do the people I'm angry with a favor

    got on the computer to talk about it and decided to look at someone else's problems

    going back to bed now

    If all is still alive and undamaged tomorrow, I've done my job

    but I'm hoping someone will burn down their house with me in it tonight

    surely i won't be so lucky

    I think I'm gonna' steal the weed stashed on the 3rd floor

    I need it more than he does

    No I don't and smoking's bad for my health

    so are house fires

    going to bed now with the dog, and I'm allergic to him

    but he's a weird little pug of comfort

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Do you think you are responsible for you own recovery? Most definitely. You can recover on your own by your own inner strength, or you can reach out to others for assistance if you think you need it.

    How do we do that? By letting go of the fear.

    How have you done that? Prayer and meditation....Study and research...living life with joy and faith that "it's all going to be okay."

    What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan? It doesn't feel right. I feel it in my gut and intuition that I have fallen off track and need to find my way back on track.

    Do you really think you can heal from the JW experience? You can heal most definitely. But for some that have really been burned through loss of loved ones (shunning), molestation, death

    of a loved one because of the blood issue, the scars may be deeper and more ragged and may need a gentle salve applied now and then to ease the sting.

  • forsharry
    forsharry

    ABSOLUTELY.

    Only you can help yourself. Support groups, therapy, meds, a good cuppa with a friend...they can only put before you all the tools. It's up to you to take it the next step.

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Do you think you are responsible for you own recovery?
    I, yes, am responsible for my own recovery.
    How do we do that?
    By arming myself with as much information about why we have come to be where we are as Jehovah's Witnesses. Why our struggle out of the Watchtower is unique, and allowing myself to be human, no longer a machine. Awaiting the Grace that has always belonged to GOD, and forgiving the pain of the past. Seeking to be good, not having to DO GOOD!
    How have you done that?
    See answer to question #2.
    What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan?
    Have yet to cross that bridge but when I have, I'll be certain to blow it up once I get to the other side.
    Do you really think you can heal from the JW experience?
    Healing is not my concern so much as it is forgiving the things that have happened to me in my ignorance, regarding the things once believed. The wake of destruction that has been left as a result of many years of clouded thinking. Every decision made on the premise that what I'd been told was the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Not living as a good JW, but as a worldly nutcase who could see only destruction for my soul. With that kind of thought process going on in my head, I was a danger to myself, and anyone else I came into contact with.
    Thanks for asking, Leslie
    Arthur
  • Abandoned
    Abandoned
    Yes we are responsible, how I did it was for two full years, I could not read the Bible or pray, so hurt, disillusioned, angry and every other negative attitude,

    Hey, Abr, this is where I am now. The bible, god, and all that crap make me almost want to vomit. But, my mom, who has been a faithful Lutheran her whole life, really seems to derive comfort and happiness from her spirituality. I'm kind of jealous of her. I'm happy for her too. Maybe I'll be abe to look at things the way you do one day.

    Oh, and sorry for jumping into your topic Purps. This just hit a chord with me.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Do you think you are responsible for you own recovery?

    How do we do that?

    How have you done that?

    What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan?

    Do you really think you can heal from the JW expericance?

    I wish I had some great answers for this thread.

    "Responsible" indicates a burden upon yourself. 12-step programs allow you to understand that

    1. We admitted we were powerless over (alcohol) [what our problem is]. —that our lives had become unmanageable.
    2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

    I am not prepared to do step 3 as written, "Make a decision to turn my life over to God as I understand him."
    (I know that they try to explain that this works for unbelievers in the "as I understand him" part, but it will take
    some work for me to figure out how to apply that.)

    These steps work for EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS as well as for ALCOHOLICS or NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS.
    There are also offshoots called NEUROTICS ANONYMOUS and EMOTIONAL HEALTH ANONYMOUS.

    You can read about EA at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotions_Anonymous

    I am not necessarily advocating this for anyone. You decide on your own what you need. Many need therapy.
    The point is in the first two steps. You cannot be "responsible" on your own for everything you need help with.
    A power greater than yourself could be a group of fellow sufferers or a therapist.

    I haven't fully accepted that I am not responsible for being tricked into the cult, but I am working on it.
    They use the deceptive recruiting techniques that got to me.

    I don't have good answers at all for "What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan?"
    Perhaps, the power greater than yourself can help you with that. I think destructive behavior and
    severe depression are some of the great signs that you need to reach out for help.

    Do you really think you can heal from the JW expericance?

    There is a limit to "heal" by my method. An alcoholic or addict or depressed person who follows
    anything like the 12 steps has a limit to their healing because they "are powerless over" the problem
    and need the help of a higher power. To me, that means there will be some burden for the rest of
    my life. Will it's power weaken? It could. Could it overwhelm me, instead? If I let it, yes. I will just
    have to keep reaching out to others.

    Continual help from others (as a higher power) doesn't necessarily mean dwelling on the cult.
    Help can be in normal human kindnesses, love, assistance, etc. As the power of the cult weakens
    over time, just don't think that you will never be depressed or warped in your thinking. Keep in contact
    with other humans.

    I don't know if this post really makes sense, but I won't delete it. I think it might help someone.

  • lovelylil
    lovelylil

    Yes we are responsible for our recovery after leaving the WT.

    What helped me a great deal is letting go of the anger. At first I felt betrayed and really angry when I found out the NWT scriptures were changed and how the society twists all the scriptures out of context. Then I just felt completey duped and stupid for a while. After that I had to accept responsibility for what I did or better yet for what I did NOT do. I didn't really look into the history of the organization and I could have checked the bible verses better but did not. This helped me get over the anger at the WT because I had myself to blame more than I could blame anyone or anything else.

    Ultimately we are all responsible for ourselves. And it is never too late to realize that, admit our mistakes and go on to a better life. Lilly

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    Do you think you are responsible for you own recovery? Yes. Just as we're all responsible for creating our own happiness.

    How do we do that? By finding constructive ways to keep ourselves busy while we heal- find your calling. It doesn't have to be religious- but I've found that volunteer work helps a lot.

    How have you done that? By realizing that no one else was going to 'fix me' or 'make me happy'. I had to find the way to learn how to do it myself- and I did.

    What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan? I'm not sure I understand this question- do you mean how do you know you're on the wrong track? If so, your gut should tell you. But there are people who have no gut left to listen to- it's been beat out of them by the JW rhetoric. It takes awhile, sometimes, to find your inner voice again. But if you listen hard, you will.

    Do you really think you can heal from the JW expericance? Heal- but perhaps not be cured. Things can trigger you and you go back ten steps. But you just have to keep going- otherwise your only choice is to be bitter, which will drive everyone away from you and who wants that?

    thanks for the great thread, purps.

    ((((((((((((Purplesofa)))))))))))))

    essie

  • willyloman
    willyloman

    There is a former Catholic priest, now a Unity minister, I think, who lectures on the AA/Recovery circuit. A recovered alcoholic and now a counselor, he found himself counseling former fundies and/or cult members, and was struck by how similarly their former religious lives lined up with actions and behaviors of addicts. He concluded that it is possible to abuse religion, or be abused by it, and that the 12-step program works in those cases, too.

    Before you scoff: I got one of his tapes about the time I was bailing out of 28 years of dubdom and I credit listening to it several times with my rapid recovery into the happy, balanced non-dub life I now have. I was stunned at how it all matched up and concluded that I was "addicted" to a religion that, like alcohol, appeared to work for me at first but now was taking an enormous commitment from me and not giving me anything back but toxicity.

    Here is a link to his site where he sells the tapes, a related collection of tapes, and/or a book on the subject:

    http://www.fatherleo.com/shop/index.php?action=item&id=49&prevaction=category&previd=3&prevstart=0

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