Dad refuses blood...

lisaBObeesa

I sit here in shock because I just found out that my father, far away in Hawaii, has been in the hospital since Monday. He has an abdominal aortic aneurysm. This means he could die should the aorta ruputre (and it is threatening to do so). The course of treatment is a risky surgery.

He has signed something refusing all blood products, so the hospital can't do the surgery at all.

I am not confident that he knows he can accept blood factions. I'm not even sure if I should try to broach the topic with him...over the phone, while he is on heavy drugs. Part of me says to try to convince him...to talk to the doctors, etc. At least try.

Part of me says to let go. He is a grown man. This is his religion and has been most of his life. And I shouldn't be wasting this precious time arguing religion, even if it is to save his life. Some things are just out of our hands.

I just don't know. And I am in so much shock.

I feel so powerless. I can't even decide if I should take off of work and fly to Hawaii or not. I feel frozen.

Paralipomenon

My suggestion is to do everything you can. If he passes, you'll never get at second chance and the "what if's" could haunt you for a long time.

megsmomma

Wow...I am so sorry. I don't have any advise, just wanted to say I am sorry for your pain.

TheSilence

Definitely go see him. You might regret it otherwise. And if you decide to talk to him about the fractions, don't argue. Just tell him that you love him so much you don't want to lose him and so you want to make sure he is aware of all his options.

Jackie

purplesofa

I hope that you get the help you need and your father.

I just don't know enough.......with so much going on with patients rights to privacy....I am not sure what you can do unless you can talk directly to your father.

Someone will post soon to advise you

you are in my thoughts

purps

momzcrazy

Lisa, PLEASE go see your dad. And do everything you can to inform him of his choices. You may save him and if not you will have done everything you can. It is horrible having what-ifs haunting you.

My dad died of an OD while I was not speaking to him. I even moved w/out telling him, he was DF'd. And I was saved by an elder's wife telling me my options.

PLEASE see him,

momzcrazy

hubert

So sorry to hear this about your Dad, LisaB.

This brings up a question....would an HLC be at the hospital? Could you inform your Dad to speak with them about the blood fractions? Aren't they supposed to inform j.w.'s about their choices, and "new light" on fractions?

I also agree, definitely go see him. if you don't and he dies, you'll feel terrible for not going. It could be your last chance to say goodby to him, and to tell him you love him. I really hope it isn't, but you don't know.

((((((LiasB))))))

Hubert

Edited to add: Lisa, get the names of the HLC if there is one, and threaten them with a law suit if they don't inform your Dad about the blood fractions, if he doesn't make it.

lisaBObeesa

thanks for your responses... thanks so much for being here, on this board...

I just called my dad and very awkwardly, in the middle of a conversation, asked him if he had signed something saying 'no blood.' Of course he said he had. Then I awkwardly asked him if he had elected to refuse all blood factions or just primary factions? Because I know since 2000 that primary factions are still not allowed, but factions of those primary factions are allowed as a conscience matter for each individual Christian.....Silence. Long, long, uncomfortable silence.

I stammered on that I just wanted to mention it, that it was from the June 2000 Questions From Readers....this was the policy now and I just wanted to be sure he knew that....

More silence. I asked him if it bothered him that I said this...he said, no, he knows I'm worried about it.

I told him I am worried and just had to mention it to be sure he knows...

More silence.

Ugh.

willyloman

Based on my experience, 98% of dubs in hosptials have no clue what the Society's current "law" is on blood products, fractions, cell savers and other devices, all of which can aid patients in your dad's situtation. The Society "allows" a long list of these in the management of the medical case. HLC guys know this and are used to working with medical professionals, many of whom are delighted to see the HLC guy coming since he can present acceptable medical options.

Get the HLC people in on this, fast. Every elder has a phone/contact list in his desk drawer.

Hope this helps.

ex-nj-jw

((((((((((((((((((((Lisa)))))))))))))))))))

If I were you I'd try to go if at all possible. Even if you can't talk him into taking fractions, you can be with him. I'm sorry you are going through this.

nj

Dad refuses blood...

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