help ! (page 3)

oompa

AWWW (((((((((((((((( Unfree))))))))))))))....Sorry man you should not HAVE this stress on you about fam/friend relationships at this point in your life. Think about it...How many of your college friends are on a support/vent website right now? Yes, you need your own life and staying in school will help with that, and making friends. But for kindness sake, you want to be nice to the folks....well fine.....but put that in a damn box before you go nuts. Bet you already feel enough guilt for a forty year old. You are going to have to compartmenalize right now because if you just jump and stand up for yourself you will probably hurt some people and I can tell that is not what you want.....As far as the dunk goes...if you really want to make the folks happy tell them you have been praying about it every day and now you feel you need to pray incessantly!!! They will be so proud...........live life on the sly for awhile....get some........and never confess anything to anybody

Eyes Open

Hi there unfree,

I can understand you not wanting to upset family and friends. However, always remember it is not you with the untrue beliefs.

I did things to please family and fit in, including getting baptised; I'm hoping to forgive myself for doing that one day. You're now officially an adult, and, even though it might be tough, taking the responsibility and deciding what you will do with your life is best done sooner rather than later. By all means do what you can to maintain relationships with family and friends; just never, ever compromise for them. If anyone decides not to continue being your friend because you don't choose to fall in line, that's their decision.

Regarding making new friends - it will happen. Just ease yourself into things and be yourself.

Thinking of ya. All the best.

Cherokeelady

I agree with everyone on "DON'T GET BAPTIZED". That gives them power to control everyone you know and knew to shun you. At least if you're never baptized, they may leave you alone and just silently "hope" that you'll come back to the "truth". Baptism means control and if you become "inactive" then they treat you like you're evil and turned your back on Jehovah and you must pay.... Oh, and going to college is the BEST thing you'll ever to for yourself. No one can take your education away. Good luck!

Aleman

Hi there,

First I must admit that everyone here is sort of correct when they say not to get baptized. You see, you get baptized if you trully in your heart, mind, and body want to serve Jehovah for the rest of your life.

This is a decision you and only you can make. Not your parents, not your best friends, not your neighbor, or any one in any of these forums. You must believe that there is a creator, a Satan, sin, a Jesus Christ, and above all how you fit in this whole world around you.

Don't be 'warm' or undecisive in the important things such as your spirituallity, read the Bible and see if this is what you want. You don't have to read any publication from the Brothers if you don't want to, just read the Bible. Find information from other sources besides WT publications.

I hope you make your own decision and stick with it, remember, It's your life and you live by your decisions.

-Aleman

Open mind

Dear Mom & Dad:

Suppose I decide to get baptized right now at the wise old age of 18. Then in a couple of years I decide being a JW just isn't for me and I end up getting disfellowshipped because I become, say......I don't know.........a Buddhist. Will you shun me according to the JW rules?

Let's say the JWs are 100% right about everything. If so, then this short life, for me the future Buddhist, is truly all there is. If I DON'Tget baptized, the WT says you can have lunch with your Buddhist son until Armageddon comes or we all die of old age, whichever comes first.

If I DO get baptized and then become a Buddhist, then not only will I be destroyed at Armageddon, but you can't even have lunch with me during these few short years that most people commonly refer to as..........................life.

So, Mom & Dad, bottom line:

Will you or won't you shun me if get DFed someday? Your answer means a lot to me.

Sincerely,

Bird Food

jgnat

Hi, unfree. I'm a regular Christian who married a JW late in life. I have two adult children in their late twenties. I can tell you from my heart that all a good parent wants is their child to grow, succeed, and be happy.

hi i'm18 and am a pb going to college. i have not been inmeaninful contact with anyone my age for the last 2 years.

I translate that as a "publisher going to college". Is that right? I also take from other things you said that you are an "unbaptized publisher". I think for your own sanity you are going to have to expand your social network outside the congregation. Colleges deal with lonely students all the time. There are student resources and study groups of every type and form to choose from. Contact your student's union and get some help from them to hook up with a group that you can relate to.

What I would like you to concentrate on in the next few years is to finish your college education and expand your social network. Those two things will help you grow as a human being more than anything else.

Now, as for disappointing your good JW buddy (three visits in two years), and your parents, why don't you hold off "coming out" about your doubts until after you finish your college education? I think you really need these few years to fully come in to your own. You owe this to yourself.

I am hoping after a few years of experience, you will have matured to where you know you are not responsible for anyone else's happiness. People are responsible for how they react. You can't make your parents depressed. They have to make a tough choice. Go with the program or accept their son. But that fight is for another day. Let's just work on loneliness for now, okay?

whats the best way to do my own thing and start living an actual life?

Know who you are. Make people responsible for their own happiness. Love yourself enough to take care of your needs first. I'd say put off the congregation and your parents until you have a degree. In the meantime, make new friends. I bet in a few years the tough choices will be a lot easier.

spiritboi

Hi unfree :

"i have not been inmeaninful contact with anyone my age for the last 2 years"

u have 1 now. me, spiritboi, 20 yrs old.

your post is too brief. I don't fully understand your situation.

I have some questions 4 u . if you read my posts, u will find me always asking questions.

1) "i have not been inmeaninful contact with anyone my age for the last 2 yrs "-- why? you don't like to socialise? or only few ppl your age in the cong?

2) Is it because of the org telling you that worldly ppl are evil and so u don't associate with them?

3) y u don't want to get baptised? Is it because you have realised this is not the truth?

If your answer to question 3 is yes, then u really should not be baptised! If u are baptised,and you leave the truth, your family will break up. They will be instructed by that damned org to shun u. Consider properly.

Tell us more details. You can always welcome to PM me.

momzcrazy

Welcome unfree!!

Word of advice, don't get baptized. Tell your parents Jesus was 30 when he did. I also suggest plenty of research about the Watchtower Society. I helped me feel better about my choice to leave. My mom doesn't know I've left and I'm 34 with 3 kids! I'll tell her when the time is right.

You are young and in college. While using your brain, go out and have fun. Start talking to kids in your classes, check the info board for side seminars or just go to a party! This is your time to learn and live. Just don't be stupid!

momzcrazy

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