They are the shoes that everyone loves to hate. They are also the shoes that have fans that will disregard what others in this world say about them in regards to fashion and taste. If you wear and love them, you just don't care, your feet are happy and that's all that matters. They've been called garden shoes, hippy shoes and clown shoes. You see them or knockoffs of them on sale at Walmart as well as Nordstrom. They're called Crocs.
I first encountered them in Denver while walking through the mall. They were the ugliest shoes I've ever seen, and I've seen or worn them all -Dansko's, Birkenstocks, Merrell's, Moonboots and Earth shoes. For a time I even tried my hand at selling women's shoes and have seen the various instruments of torture often called 'fashion'. But this was a first, blue plastic with round puncture holes and a ridiculous strap that could be worn on top of the foot or behind the ankle. For fun, I tried on a pair and, amazingly, I was hooked. I listened to my wife's comments of derision, put them aside and walked on in pride. I wore them with jeans, with khaki pants and once more to my wife's chagrin, with shorts.
Until, they tried to kill me, not once, but twice.
The first time was over the recent labor day weekend. I wore them to a popular natural waterfall park in Southern Oklahoma. My thinking was what could be a better water shoe than one made of plastic with lots of holes to allow water to escape? After walking around the sandy shore I tried to make my way across some rocks and the damn things slid right off the algae leaving me with a large purple bruise on my left hip. I left an impression on the rock as well the hispanic family picnicking on the nearby shore. "Senor, are ju ho-kay?" I wasn't, but my pride or adrenaline got me back to my car.
The second time was today. I was hanging plastic sheeting attached to wooden 1x2's helping some folks get ready for a haunted house. I was at the top of an eight foot ladder and was climbing down and did not notice that some of the plastic was on one of the rungs. I tried to plant my left foot and was moving my right foot down to the next rung. My left foot slipped left kicking over the ladder, and my body went right. I landed on my right hip, right shoulder blade and head. I must have tried to break my fall with my right hand, also. It knocked the wind out of me and I actually saw stars. After the initial shock, I drove myself home, popped some ibuprofen and iced my wrist. Later I decided it was time to get it x-rayed and drove myself to my wife's hospital. Not the smartest move, but again I was probably working on pure adrenaline. Four hours later I was seen by a doctor in the ER. I have a bruised backside, a bruised scapula, a broken wrist and a goose egg on my head.
Needless to say my beloved Crocs are now in the trashbin. So the next time so see a loved one or relative wearing the shoes that you hate for sheer fashion sense alone, tell them they might die if they wear them. Friends don't let friends wear Crocs.
(forgive my discombobulated post, Lortab does that to me)