Interesting that so many people equate keeping your mouth shut with lying
Silence is not the same thing as lying.
and spilling your guts with telling the truth.
One can spill one’s guts, and STILL not be telling the truth.
It isn't lying to keep your own counsel.
True. However, not telling your spouse something that you should… while not lying… is deceptive… IF they believe something else.
It's wise sometimes to just keep your mouth shut until the appropriate time, if ever.
Wise, perhaps. But then, the things belonging to God are often called “foolish.”
Several posts have been about being brutally honest with your spouse
Goodness, I truly hope not! Being brutally anything goes directly against the purpose of being honest with your spouse: love. Love… is NEVER brutal.
even going to the point of calling those who aren't hypocrites.
I feel I must clarify, if you’ll permit me. Those who are not honest, whether brutally or otherwise, are not necessarily hypocrites. Those who are not honest with their spouses… and/or others… may be deceivers. Deceivers… are not necessarily hypocrites. Those who despise deception and malign others for being deceptive… and yet, deceive… are hypocrites:
"hypocrite adjective 2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings"
It's been kinda rubbing me the wrong way too.
My sincere apologies. Truly.
How about if your spouse tells you they don't want to know?
Assuming they have told you such, then you don’t have to tell them, right? But at least they had a CHOICE, and you are no longer deceiving them. They are simply refusing the truth. And that is their prerogative. But if you never told them, then you’ve pretty much made the choice for them, haven’t you?
Should you still cram it down their throats?
Seriously. No one should ever cram anything down anyone’s throat. And to those who would counter that some here, including myself DO “cram,” I would offer that opening and reading threads, particularly of those whom you know post in a certain manner with regard to certain topics… is an absolutely voluntary act: you are not forced to come here, you are not burdened with guilty trips if you don’t, you are free to “eat”… or “abstain” as you wish – no one can cram anything down anyone’s anything from here. If you “ate” it… it’s because you chose to open the “carton”, take some out, put it in your mouth… and chew. Or gag. Whatever. But no one spoon-fed you.
If we weren't dealing with a mind controlling cult, it would be a different situation.
People stand up and openly leave much more controlling situations everyday. Everyday. It’s a mind-controlling cult, true. Unlike some cults, however, you won’t be killed (literally) for leaving. Ostracized, shunned, ignored, unloved… perhaps. IF, however, everyone who KNEW what they are… and are not… DID stand up, DID leave… then what? What “strength” would they have? None. The only strength they DO have… is what you give them… by NOT being honest, by CONTINUING the deception… even with your own loved ones. Why do you do it? Because you want peace? Yet, you were told “I came to put, NOT peace… but a sword.” Did you not hear? Of course, you heard… but you’ve forgotten. I venture to say only a small fraction actually get some kind of peace. Those who are deceptive tend to suffer most of the time… along with those they are deceiving. Those who are honest, however, and who do NOT hide, I would venture to say have much more peace… and much sooner.
What spouse does not have thoughts that they choose not to share with their partner?
Oh, Lordy, we ALL have thoughts we don’t share with our spouses. This is not about mere thoughts, not by any stretch. It’s not about “I think I don’t believe in… whatever… anymore.”
That's all were talking about here is thoughts.
Actually, that’s not quite correct. You've kinda come in on the continuation from another thread. This started about attendance at a non-witness function, where an unknowing spouse came to know of it and a huge fallout resulted. Much more than mere thoughts involved there.
Were not being unfaithful to our mates.
Yes, of course. And cybersex isn’t being unfaithful to our spouses, and following other “leaders” isn’t being unfaithful to Christ. Okay. If you wish to live in that kind of DENIAL, by all means, please… do so. I do not judge you. If, however, someone asks… on an open PUBLIC forum, what they SHOULD do… I, personally, am not going to lie to them, or “tickle” their ears and tell them what they WANT to hear. I… am going to tell them the TRUTH, first, because GOOD LORDY AREN’T YOU FOLKS TIRED OF LYING AND BEING LIED TO… YET???... second, because it’s the right thing to do (what they do with it is entirely up to them) and third, I have to sleep at night.
This is EXACTLY how cults such as the WTBTS work: they realize we are SO attracted to having our ears "tickled" and repelled by the REAL TRUTH... they say the very things we wish to hear. And, yet, their "truth"... is empty. The REAL truth is not a "pretty"... and so we reject it for the lie. And we wonder how we get ourselves involved... or stay entwined... in such cults. It's because we no longer have a LOVE... for the truth, but would hear what is "pleasing" to our ears. Well, it was prophesied, wasn't it?
We are trying to gently and tenderly help them see through all the haze around them.
WONDERFUL! EXCELLENT! Those who do this are to be commended!! May I ask, however, is there anything wrong with “gently and tenderly” telling them the TRUTH? Don't you think they DESERVE that? They do.
I bid you all peace.
A slave of Christ,
SA
