When I was so miserable because of health issues, two small children (one had major health issues) and being isolated in a community outside of town with no car during the day I got really depressed.
Looking back now, I probably also had some post-natal depression as well as depression about doubting the JW garbage. I eventually became just about agoraphobic. When I approached my NON-JW perfectionist hubby about getting some therapy, his reaction was much like the elders would have been IF I'd asked them (which I didn't) He said, "NOT MY WIFE!!!!!!!!!"
Pride can be bad, huh? I guess he thought it would make HIM look bad or something. ANYWAY, I decided if I was ever going to be better I would have to start somewhere. I could not go out to get the mail until the mail man had left our circle and all the other ladies had gone back in the house. I knew I didn't want to live that way or get worse.
I had sold Avon in the past so I signed up again and at the first door, the lady just bought something because she felt sorry for me. But I kept it up and got over most of my fear. Soon I was cold calling on all my neighbors and making friends and a few dollars.
Then I signed up for a General Psychology course. It was the best thing ever!!! I learned all about how big corporations control their work forces by keeping them busy with new and exciting projects. It's called Mass Behavior Modification. A 1000 watt light bulb went off and it was just one more thing to help me out of the borg.
I hate to admit it still took some other things and more time to get completely out, but it did help. Then when I became disabled in 2003, I went to a counselor ( I divorced the hubby who would not "let" me go to the counselor and remarried someone more understanding). I saw a counselor because it was very hard to deal with the sudden weakness and disability. It really does a number on your self-esteem to be raised blue-collar and with no patience for "lazy" people and then end up disabled.
Anyway, the main reason she was able to help me is that she herself was disabled. We also dealt with the issues of coming out of the borg. But this brings up a question. The main reason she could help me is that she had been through a similar experience. I guess any counselor can help you see how you have been screwed over and help you figure out what to do about it, but I would love to meet one who knows more about cults in general and JWs in particular. There is no one in my area.
There is no insurance or $$$ for it either and the only free one here doesn't impress me much. I know some of his clients and they don't seem to get any better. But if there was someone I could talk to about some of the specific problems relating to losing family members, I would try to go.
I HAVE received help from the local Celebrate Recovery group. It IS Christian based so some of you might not be interested. But I learned that when I continue to try to convince my JW sisters that I am a worth-while person I am being co-dependent. I am learning healthier behavior And I am making TRUE, REAL FRIENDS who dont' try to control me and they help me in my fight to recover the self-esteem and well being I lost with all the stuff that has happened to me. I would recommend it to anyone.
sacrebleu
