Anyone else have Jekyll/Hyde parents?

by tribalgirl 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  tribalgirl

  Anybody else have a parent or parents that acted loving and happy at the KH, but turned into angry, abusive weirdos at home?

  My stepdad was like this. It was so strange to see him shaking hands and smiling, laughing even, at the KH. Once we got home he would always revert back to a very abusive jerk.

  He even knocked my little sister down and kicked her until she passed out one time. The elders never believed my mom when she would ask them to talk to him about his temper. They also discouraged her from going to the police over it.

  We all just put up with it because my mom had just left a VERY abusive marriage to my real dad who was an alcoholic. There were 7 of us kids, all girls, who felt so totally helpless and like we deserved it for some reason.

  Just wondering if any one else dealt with this kind of weirdness.
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  ex-nj-jw

  Yes - but not as bad as you had it. (((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

  nj
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  tribalgirl

  Wow, sorry about unloading that little gem. I really had no intention of sharing the junk that we dealt with as kids.

  Thanks for the hugs, I needed them after going back to that place. Geez.
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  ex-nj-jw

  No problem, anytime you need a cyber hug let me know

  nj
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  worldtraveller

  My dad forced my mom into prostitution in the early 60's. I had a 1/2 brother born in 1960. He did not look like the rest of us at all. They were good at keeping it very quiet. After they both died I discussed this issue with other family members and it was confirmed. My 1/2 brother became a drug addicted demon. At age 35 he put a gun to his head. Am I angry at such horrible behaivour? Absolutely. Will I continue the cycle of bitterness. No. But it took some time to get over it. I have a good family, but only 1 in-law left and I consider her a close family member. We will once again have a good Christmas this year.
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  jaguarbass

  My father was not a witness but he had the Jekyl and Hyde thing going on as far back as I remember.

  Sometimes I called him Jekyl and Hyde. Other times I just called him an Axxhole.
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  momzcrazy

  Yes. My dad was a wonderful loving elder. He gave food to needy ones in the hall, we helped older ones with chores. We always pioneered in the summer and had bookstudy and FS meetings in our home. He was a likeable person and had friends everywhere. We traveled all over Ut, ID, and WY to give talks and do Hall builds. He did the sound for builds and conventions. We were perceived as the perfect family. I was on the convention programs 3 times being interviewed. But...

  At home he was abusive, beating us with belts, hangers, sticks whatever he could get. He beat my brother up regularly, throwing him into walls, punching him, etc. He was also an alcoholic. And from 1977 on, every 5 years or so, he would have close "friends" from work. Mom was no better. She waited for dad to come home to tell him all the things we had done. We would be scared to death at 5:00 everyday. And for some odd reason she can't remember hearing my brother begging dad to stop.

  I learned perfect is a fallacy. We aren't perfect parents now according to JW's, but my kids are happy when their dad comes home. And they don't flinch when I raise my hand to pet their heads.

  momzcrazy
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  hubert

  (((((to all of you)))))

  If you read Joy Castro's book...."The truth book", you'll learn that she and her brother went through that and maybe even worse than your experiences. I used to think hers was an "exceptional" case, but it seems it isn't. I am shocked to find this many already. There must be many, many more we don't hear about.

  Hubert
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  BrentR

  That describes my twisted parents exactly except now they do not have any kids to beat on. Just a year ago my JW mom got arrested for slapping another lady that did some work for my mom. And she wonders why my wife and I will not let our daughter stay there without us.

  I enjoyed telling my mom "serves you right" when she called me after being booked for second degree assualt. She was in a panic and needed to find out if I knew a good defense attorney. How she got out of being DFd is beyond me.
• 

  tribalgirl

  I see that my experience as a child was not unique.

  I wonder, sometimes, how it shaped me as a person to believe that everyone had two "faces".

  For a very long time I believed that it was normal to be abused at home.

  Until I married and moved out of my parents' home, I thought it was normal.

  For the first 6 months of my marriage, I thought my husband was just letting me get used to being maried before he became abusive.

  What a revelation it was to me when I realized that he wasn't that way at all. We have been married for over 20 years and he has never once raised his hand to me or our children or called any of us bad names.

  I feel very lucky to have gotten out of the "cycle" of abuse.

  I hope you all were as fortunate.

  (((hugs))) to all of you.