It seems I didn't explain the intent of the topic well enough.
The idea was to see how we've made the best of a negative situation, how having the experience of having been in a cult and now in some stage of exiting it has taught you valuable life lessons.
Gratitude in the face of adversity seems to be an important element in finding and promoting happiness for oneself and others.
Words of Gratitude
Enterprise - Davis, CA
12/28/2001
Gratitide. The word has a noble, virtuous and a truly good ring to it. The actions and attitude of gratitude likewise elicit warmth and approval. According to the subjective affirmation, UC Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons has verified the goodness of gratitude in objective studies."I study gratitude in a scientific way," Emmons says, "what is it, what qualities are associated with it, what are its consequences, what are some blocks to it, and how can people live more gratefully so they can improve the quality of their lives."
Psychologists know what does not predict happiness - factors such as income, where a person lives, age or gender. Emmons is finding that internal characteristics such as attitude and disposition are more apt to predict happiness.
"I've been interested in happiness and subjective well-being for a number of years, since I was in graduate school," the professor says, "trying to understand who is happy and why." People in very different circumstances report a similar sense of well-being. So Emmons is studying how looking at life through the lens of gratitude affects people's happiness.
Psychologists did not know much about gratitude before Emmons and a few colleagues began to study it. The close association with religion may have put them off, Emmons believes, but gratitude's many layers merit investigation.
Psychologists need to look at the religious, sociological, psychological and moral aspects.
The Davis professor has published six scientific papers on gratitude. In one, he asked undergraduate students to record weekly logs recording their emotions, physical symptoms and health behaviors plus a general evaluation of the week and expectations for the coming week.
In addition, one-third of the students recorded five events or circumstances of the week that affected them, another third wrote about five of the week's hassles or minor stresses, and the final third recorded five things for which they were thankful or grateful.
Emmons found that over the 10 weeks, the grateful group fared better in outcome measures such as attitude about the coming week, number of physical complaints, time spent exercising and progress toward goals. In a paper published this year in the "Psychological Bulletin," Emmons and three colleagues at other institutions suggest four directions for future research: "developing better tools for assessing individual differences in gratitude, examining gratitude as a response to benevolence and as a motive for reciprocity, examining the connections of gratitude with well-being, and exploring the connections of gratitude with religiousness spirituality.
Emmons' current study looks at gratitude's effects on reported well-being among persons with neuromuscular diseases.
In addition to papers in social science publications, Emmons and collaborator Joanna Hill have recently written a small book to encourage gratitude cultivation.
"Words of Gratitude for Mind, Body, and Soul" was published by the Templeton Foundation Press, an arm of the Templeton Foundation, which supports Emmons' research. The book's overall devotional nature is reinforced by the format.
While the odd-numbered pages contain the authors' words, the even-numbered pages feature quotations of wisdom words from millennia of human expression, from the Hebrew Psalms to Greek philosophers to 20th century thinkers.
Brother David Steindl-Rast, who wrote the extended introduction to the book, focuses on gratitude proverbs in his piece. He cites proverbs that speak with kindly words as well as those with cutting words like this Turkish one: "For the grateful, the gnats make music; for the ungrateful, harps and flutes make only noise."
The Benedictine monk Steindl-Rast has found proverbs relating to the self within as well as relationships with others. "A contented heart is a continual feast," says wisdom. On the face that may seem to relate to the self, but Steindl-Rast reminds readers that those who know how to feast always have company. Further, a Russian proverb he quotes says, "Gratefulness waters old friendship and makes new ones sprout."
Emmons' own favorite quote is from Henri Nouwen: "Everything is, is freely given by the God of love. All is grace. Light and water, shelter and food, work and free time, children, parent, grandparents, life and death - it is all given to us. Why? So that we can say thanks: thanks to God, thanks to each other, thanks to all and everyone."
The gratitude wisdom Emmons and Hill present comes from many cultural sources and several faith traditions. In Judaism, praise prayer is said for good news or bad news. In Christianity, a natural gratitude recognizes good thing received, spiritual gratitude recognizes God's goodness regardless of favors received.
Islam perceives three stages of gratitude: first for gifts, then for blessing veiled in affliction, and finally a gratitude recognizing even the ability to feel grateful comes from God. In Buddhism, a way to live reflectively begins with thankfulness.
"We can develop an approach to life in which gratitude becomes our more habitual way of reacting to life's circumstances, that even in the face of adversity, we can still be grateful," Emmons says. "With gratitude comes a profound sense of freedom. We become less susceptible to good and bad; moods don't fluctuate, we become content. It's not easy or automatic, but it can be practiced and cultivated."
A first step in gratitude cultivation can be to think in terms of gifts; the professor says. The students in the study named things they were thankful or grateful for, thus cultivating a language of gifts. Gifts imply a giver God, other people or nature, depending upon personal and religious perspective. Whatever strategies help to raise awareness of gifts and the source creates a sense of gratitude.
http://www.templetonpress.org/bookreviews_detail.asp?book_id=13#r100
Boost Your Health With a Dose of Gratitude
If you want to get healthier, give thanks.
WebMD Feature
Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario
What would happen if we extended the tradition of giving thanks, typically celebrated just once a year during the holiday season, throughout the entire year? Such gratitude would be rewarded with better health, say researchers.
No pill? No strict diet or exercise regimen? Can just a positive emotion such as gratitude guarantee better health? It may be a dramatic departure from what we've been taught about how to get healthier, but the connection between gratitude and health actually goes back a long way.
"Thousands of years of literature talk about the benefits of cultivating gratefulness as a virtue," says University of California Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons. Throughout history, philosophers and religious leaders have extolled gratitude as a virtue integral to health and well-being. Now, through a recent movement called positive psychology, mental health professionals are taking a close look at how virtues such as gratitude can benefit our health. And they're reaping some promising results.
Benefits of Gratitude
Grateful people -- those who perceive gratitude as a permanent trait rather than a temporary state of mind -- have an edge on the not-so-grateful when it comes to health, according to Emmons' research on gratitude. "Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, regular physical examinations," Emmons tells WebMD.
Stress Buster
It's no secret that stress can make us sick, particularly when we can't cope with it. It's linked to several leading causes of death, including heart disease and cancer, and claims responsibility for up to 90% of all doctor visits. Gratitude, it turns out, can help us better manage stress. "Gratitude research is beginning to suggest that feelings of thankfulness have tremendous positive value in helping people cope with daily problems, especially stress," Emmons says.
Immune Booster
Grateful people tend to be more optimistic, a characteristic that researchers say boosts the immune system. "There are some very interesting studies linking optimism to better immune function," says Lisa Aspinwall, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Utah. In one, researchers comparing the immune systems of healthy, first-year law students under stress found that, by midterm, students characterized as optimistic (based on survey responses) maintained higher numbers of blood cells that protect the immune system, compared with their more pessimistic classmates.
Optimism also has a positive health impact on people with compromised health. In separate studies, patients confronting AIDS, as well as those preparing to undergo surgery, had better health outcomes when they maintained attitudes of optimism.
Gratitude in the Face of Loss
Even in the face of tremendous loss or tragedy, it's possible to feel gratitude. In fact, adversity can boost gratitude, recent findings show. In a web-based survey tracking the personal strengths of more than 3,000 American respondents, researchers noted an immediate surge in feelings of gratitude after Sept. 11, 2001.
Why would such a tragic event provoke gratitude, and what is its impact? Christopher Peterson, PhD, the University of Michigan psychologist who posted the survey, attributes this surge in gratitude among Americans post 9/11 to a sense of increased belonging. These feelings offered more than community building. Gratitude in the aftermath of 9/11 helped buffer people against the negative effects of stress, making them less likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, explains Emmons.
Who Feels Gratitude?
How is it that some people manage to feel grateful in the face of challenging life circumstances, while others sink into despair? "So much of gratitude is about one's perspective and framework for looking at the world and at self. People who tend to be more mindful of the benefits they've received tend to focus their attention outward," Emmons explains.
You don't need to have a lot to be mindful of what you've got, according to Edward Diener, PhD, a psychology professor at the University of Illinois at Champaign-Urbana, who has studied extensively life satisfaction of people from various cultures. Not surprising, he found that people in India living in poverty report low levels of life satisfaction. However, a high percentage of people in affluent Japan do, too. Diener suggests that, for the Japanese, their culture's emphasis on materialism is to blame.
Who, then, has a high level of life satisfaction, if not the very poor or the very rich? The middle class do, according to Diener's findings -- particularly those who have risen from poverty. Moreover, he reports that the people of Ireland, a country boasting a "count your blessings" culture, report high levels of life satisfaction. As for a group of multimillionaires from the Forbes 400 list? They weren't much happier than the average suburbanite.
Cultivating Gratitude
Income level is by no means the only measure of satisfaction with one's lot in life. "There tends to be higher levels of optimism among people who have faced losses early in life, suggesting that adversity can promote personal growth over time," Aspinwall tells WebMD. But you don't have to wait for a tragedy to grow your feelings of gratitude. You can start today. Here's how:
- Maintain a gratitude journal. Emmons' research showed that people who keep gratitude journals on a weekly basis exercise more regularly, report fewer physical symptoms, feel better about their lives as a whole, and maintain greater optimism about the future.
- Create a list of benefits in your life and ask yourself, "To what extent do I take these for granted?" Some people need such concrete visual reminders to maintain mindfulness of their gratitude, explains Emmons.
- Talk to yourself in a creative, optimistic, and appreciate manner, suggests Sam Quick, PhD, of the University of Kentucky. This could entail simply reflecting on things for which you're grateful or, if you're facing a challenging situation, seeing how it can ultimately be beneficial. For instance, having to cope with particularly difficult people in your job or neighborhood can improve your patience and understanding.
- Reframe a situation by looking at it with a different, more positive attitude, offers Quick. He provides this example: Rather than seeing his 6-year-old daughter as cranky, irritable, and troublesome, a father might reach the conclusion that the youngster is tired and needs rest.
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=50414
FINDING EMPOWERMENT THROUGH ADVERSITY — by Catherine Morgan
When we are suffering it is very difficult, if not impossible, to see the “light at the end of the tunnel”. But, it is there. You will get through it. And, in time your wounds really will be healed.
Can something good come out of adversity? Often in the face of adversity, we are unable to see anything through our pain. The only thing we can think about, are questions. Why is this happening to me? How will I go on? How will I survive? These are all reasonable questions, and in the depth of your pain you will ask them, and more. But, there are no answers to these questions. Only after you realize this, will you be able to go on, and let go.
We can not turn away from our pain. It is very important that we feel all our feelings during these times of adversity and heartache. Denying our pain, or denying our feelings, will not benefit us in any way. In fact, it will only prolong our troubles. But, if we look at our situation, and face our problems head-on; we will triumph.
You may feel like you are losing the “battle”; but when you push through your battle, you come out on the other side the winner of your “war”. That is because you are empowered when you conquer life’s toughest battles. Only at these times of empowerment do we grow into the people we are meant to be. Think about that for a minute. Who would you be right now, if it wasn’t for the adversity you have been through in your life?
For me personally, I wish I had never had to go through many of the painful events of my life; loss, divorce, illness, betrayal, (just to name a few). But, I also know that I would not be who I am today, had I not. My past heartache, and my past pain, are what make me the compassionate person that I am today. And in retrospect, I don’t think I would want to be the kind of person, who knows no hardships. It’s because of these hardships that I appreciate every thing I have, even the little things, that most people take for granted.
I can now see that my past adversity, has truly been a blessing in my life. I don’t look forward to future adversity, however I know it will come. When it does come, I will have the knowledge of my past strength to help me overcome, and once again triumph.
I hope for everyone, that they are able to one day look past their pain, to find their empowerment.
http://catherinemarie.wordpress.com/2007/01/24/finding-empowerment-through-adversity/
