Recovery of an Adult Convert (Reconnecting with Loved Ones)

lonelysheep

It is my third year out and a heavy period of recovery. Speaking of which, I thought I was recovered!

You know that as jw's, the rule is to stay away from anyone who is essentially persuading you to not be associated with 'jehovah's people'. Well, for me, as someone who thought she was doing the right thing (brainwashed, really), I stopped talking to most of my family! Why? As Christians, they were always against jw's and everything they stood for. I was warned to stay away from jw's from the time I was young.

Of course, brainwashing is an easy process when a person is vulnerable and unknowingly searching for a place to belong. It wasn't our fault. Afterall, what's wrong with wanting to feel loved?!

Now, though, I'm feeling the effects of having felt better then everyone who loved me, as their presence is not a part of my life today. Relationships have been formed, weddings have taken place and new people, precious children have been born. So many milestones and opportunities to just 'be' came and went, as they have lived their lives each day and I had chosen to not be in it. It is this year, these last few months where the reality of the fact that things are the way they are and why, hit me hard.

I tore apart my family and left myself with a feeling of pure despair. I'm the only granchild who is truly the blacksheep, and I'm working to resolve this loss of me. How $hitty to have a stepmom and so called friends who were supportive of this family tie severing, yet are nowhere to be found today! The world doesn't necessarily have an open door policy when it comes to being in each others' lives, so I have no idea what to expect when I try to talk to them (cousins, aunts/uncles).

Today, when I see jw's, all I see are a few people coming by to tear a family apart. Field Service is bad. Not just a waste of time for those doing it instead of living life, but actual evil....intentions or not.

Warlock

sheepy

I did the same thing.

I figure I'll die alone.

Don't you figure like me, I'm just not the type to reconnect.

Warlock

PoppyR

(((( Lonelysheep))))

Guess there's something in the air, a lot of what was in your post resonates with my own feelings. My whole life I have been encouraged (read forced) to give up friendships and relatives that were not witnesses. Now I am not welcome with my witness family I have nothing!

You have been out around the same length of time as me, I feel it's a slow process for us to catch up with people who have had 'normal' lives.

Hopefully the mood shall pass, we will feel liberated to be out and grateful to have the platform here to find people who understand.

Poppy

purplesofa

I too, became JW as an adult.

Only just recently have I been reconnecting with people I slowly dismissed from my life twenty years ago. It wasnt just becoming a JW, but a divorce and relocation as well.

It's strange to get to know these people again. I never really thought I had that superiour attitude as a JW. But I did, just because I knew something worldly people did not.

I wonder how long it will take for people to realize I am normal now. I feel the pain of having been disconnected. What a waste.

But many are accepting and happy, loving.

I will forever have that mark against me that I was part of the JW cult. I will probably always be thought of as a little odd by them.

Thanks for you post

Leslie

zack

Damn, Warlock, I've been making the same calculation.

avidbiblereader

LS, very honest post, not easy trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again and perhaps your reception will not be what you expect, either good or bad. If it were I and I had to do this a little myself with my family is, I came right out and was honest with them.

Do the same as your post, (be honest), tell them that you are sorry for your "Brainwashed, arrogant, selfish attitude" but that you were just that, "brainwashed" and that you apologize and there is "no place like home". Tell them that you want to be a part of their families and they are welcome into yours as well. Don't underestimate "family" the witnesses religion didn't and that is why they use DFing.

It may take time and there may be some who wont move forward, they most likely wouldnt have been very close to you either way. Start inviting others over and making yourself a part of their lives and continually point to the fact it was not their fault nor really yours, but rather you were brainwashed into this "unnatural" activity.

Please keep us updated,

abr

flipper

LONELY SHEEP- I'm so sorry for your losses. I too have experienced them too at the hand of the witness cult and it is truly a tragedy, and so needless ! My daughters won't talk with me , in their early 20's, and yet the witnesses claim they have a religion of love ? I too feel that the witnesses shunning policy should be outlawed because it really causes severe psychological stress on people and family relationships. Lonely, just know we are always here if you would like to talk or pm, okay ? Peace my friend, hang in there

Maddie

LONELY SHEEP - Yes when many of us become JW's in adulthood, we are encouraged to sever relationships with family and friends. The WT certainly know how to make sure we find it as hard as possible to leave if we want to. In this way they try to make sure we are as isolated as possible. It is just plain psychological torture. It sometimes takes time but hopefully you will be able to build up relationships with your family again. Perhaps you could try explaining the mind control that you were under and how sorry you are now. It's worth a try!

My thoughts are with you

Maddie

justhuman

My thoughts are with you and everyone who suffered from WT

anglise

Yep been there, done that - still wearing the t-shirt.

It is very hard to unravel, maybe you never can. Another invisible shackle used to trap people in JW land.

Anglise

Recovery of an Adult Convert (Reconnecting with Loved Ones)

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