My Take On Anonimity.

by Englishman 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • teejay
    teejay

    Englishman,

    I must take issue with your perception that kent's posting Prisca's pic as simply a matter of him being mischievous or your empathy with kent who was supposedly surprised upon realizing that she was upset about it. I understand kent's stupidity and the support he garners from his friends around here, but I thought you were more cyber-savvy than that, E-man. Somehow, I think you are.

    If revealing the nature or content of private emails is one of the worse things that can be done in cyberworld, then the revealing of certain aspects of someone else's true identity -- be they one's real name, address, or pic -- is even worse so. Words fail to accurately describe how heinous his act was for posting her pic, but I doubt any of the senior posters will do much to censure him, other than to say he's a good ol' boy and was just having a little fun. I wonder if their responses would be the same if kent had targeted them, or one of their loved ones, without that one's wish or consent.

    I think it's a mighty fine thing that you are so open-minded and willing to suffer the loss of the relationship with your mother, but then that is YOUR decision. You have, of your own accord, chosen to post pictures of yourself, your sons, your daughter-in-law on the net. Perhaps you have gone to even greater lengths to expose your identity.

    That's wonderful, and you are to be applauded, I guess you want others to say. But the difference is that YOU made that decision, and therein lies the major difference that your post seems to ignore. It's ludicrous, in my mind, to suggest that it stunts one's "maturation" for a poster to want to maintain a level of anonymity. If that were true, kent could be counted as one of the most mature individuals around, and everyone knows that is worlds away from the truth.

    Whatever the reason is, even if it is "immature" to you, one's desire/need to remain anonymous is their (our) decision and theirs alone. People with any integrity will continue to honor that.

    tj

  • think41self
    think41self

    eman,

    Nice post. I happen to agree with your thoughts about our emotional growth being hindered by our fears of being discovered. It was certainly true in my case.

    I also agree with some of the comments from others about the cost they would have to bear. Like all personal growth, it comes if and when we are ready for it. And of course it is a personal decision. If we are the ones who have to pay the price, then we should be the ones deciding the right time.

    I thought good points were made by all.

    think41self

    Holy Flying Screaming Buddha, Batman!

  • Seeker
    Seeker

    Yikes! I hope this isn't a reflection of personal growth, for I've already stated my desire to use anonymity forever, for reasons that have nothing to do with my JW background. I was a private person before being a JW, during, and afterward. Just my nature not to open up in public, but only with my friends and colleagues.

    This doesn't hold me back, nor does it rule my life, nor does it shape my decisions. It is a conscious choice I have made for pragmatic purposes that transcend the usual WTS-inspired reasons here. If this means I am and will remain immature emotionally, I'd better re-think my position.

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Teejay, Skipper, Seeker and all,

    Thanks for your input. If you have chosen anonimity because thats what you want anyway, then, IMO, thats fine. I am concerned about those who are forced into hiding because of their fears about JW reprisals. I feel that this fear must be eventually confronted if you want to live a fuller life, and there are many here who need support who feel unable to say who they are because they know that the DF'ing commitees are waiting for them. Its to these ones that I am saying to have the courage to declare: "This is me"!

    Teejay, I have never posted pics of my daughter in law.

    Englishman.

    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be....

  • unclebruce
    unclebruce

    Great post skipper and well said, thankyou.

    ===

    Englishmun,

    If Kent posted Priscas real photo on the web or revealed any other personal data that could identify her I am very disappointed in vikingman. Prisca and many others here have excellent and serious reasons for remaining annonymouse. When I first came on the nett I was secretive about my real name and address too, but now don't care and would love to have my photo posted in spite of the fact my family would be deeply hurt if they knew the depth of my bitterness toward the religion tghat has them so thoroughly trapped, trussed and tormented. Being on the net has been a gradual loosening up journey for me and I hope others are given time to heal and the respect they deserve and very often need even at the expence of natural curiosity going unfullfilled.

    take care all, unclebruce

    aka: Lee Freeman
    171 Reedy Swamp rd.,
    Bega NSW 2550.

    PS: G'day Jason! LOL.

  • Tina
    Tina

    Hi Eguy,
    My identity is no secret to my friends. Since I have no relationship with several family members by their choice,I see no reason(in my case) where maintaining this secret accomplshes anything. Even if I did,I'd be of the same mind.
    I'm also not paranoid enuff to believe that bethel is on some type of r/f witchunt. Majority of us are small potatoes(including myself here) in the exJW community. I dont wallow in any 'victim' mentality. Survivor status is waaaay healthier. We're just not that important to them. Those i trust have my name address phone number etc etc. Issues brought up mindchild would be my only concern around these places,nothing more.
    I do understand why some,due to personal family issues choose to remain incognito.Or those planning a 'healthier' exit.
    Interesting topic,thanks.luv,T

    Jehovahs Witnesses,Proudly Serving Their Corporate Masters!

  • Prisca
    Prisca

    Yes, I have very good reasons for keeping my ID a secret on this site.

    Apart from that, Kent obtained my pic illegally. He has stolen material and posted it without the permission of the photographer or myself.

    If he posts it on his website or does anything else with it, he is showing what disregard he has for anyone's feelings, especially for the victims of the WTS.

    Eman - you may have the freedom to post pics of yourself and your family, but I don't.

    Please respect the privacy of those of us still victimised by the WTS.

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    It sickens me that I have been living this lie in the forum. OK, OK, my real name is Richard Murray. I knew this anonymity thing couldn't last forever. I just hope you're satisfied now Eman!

  • larc
    larc

    My house is devided on this issue. I wouldn't mind posting my full name and address here. My wife, however, wants us to remain anonamous. She gets irritated with me if I talk about the city I live in, where I was born, and how many kids I have, all of which I have posted. She generally is a more of private person than I am, and is very circumspect on this subject. I try to respect her wishes within the limits of my general gabbiness.

    I don't see the connection between the degree of anonymity and the amount of growth. I have seen a lot of growth in my wife over the years. Of course, most of our interests, experiences, and activities have nothing to do with the Witnesses or our Witness background. Except for our posting here since last December, we have had minimal involvement with this subject for many years, and will probably fade from here in due time.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    I have always used my real name on every discussion board I've used. I didn't get started on ex-dub boards until relatively recently. I started out on some political/military history boards about three years ago. When I found the ex-dub boards I just continued that practice. I have an advantage in that I've been out thirteen years and have no family issues to deal with.

    I think that a person's identity is their business to reveal or not reveal. This first came up for me with a friend on one of my military boards. He was leaving the navy and wanted help in finding jobs or living arrangements here in Seattle. Because of what he had done in the military he requested confidentiality and I assured him that anything I found out about him would stay with me. Frankly I think this is common courtesy.

    On this board, I certainly don't think less of some one that chooses not to go the route I've taken. There are too many issues to deal with; family, elders etc to take a one size fits all position.

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