Today I was thinking sometimes what people feel that others can't relate to isn't this whole history of having been a JW.. Just curious, anyone out there feel that way? I guess this is here because of the relationship bit, a bit general though I suppose.
Is it really the ex-JW thing?
by Introspection 10 Replies latest social relationships
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Satanus
Hi Intro
Xjws can blame a lot on having been a jw, but not everything. If everything was the fault of the wt, then xjws must have been perfect before they became jws. People become jws for various psychological reasons, and one of them could be because they were socially inept. While a social handicapper could gain social abilities in the jw fold, if he left he could still be less socially able than others. IMO
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Introspection
True Satan, but all the same sometimes you see people with lots of friends and it doesn't seem like they really relate to them well either..
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HappyHeathen
Introspection,
If you mean you've noticed that people can't relate to our experiences as J.W.'s, I agree. I have been gone from the borg a long time now and feel fully integrated into the world except in that sense. In fact, I don't even tell new friends that I was a witness and the reasons for that are two-fold. First, they never really understand, so what is the point? Second, I decided that I wanted to leave it all behind, reinvent myself and become a whole person again. To some extent, I've been successful doing that, except I've discovered this board and become addicted! So what does that say about whether I've left it all behind??? It's good to be among friends.... -
Introspection
Umm.. Actually no Heathen. I suppose one way of looking at it is this: You have friends from different sources, work, kids friends' parents if you have them or whatever.. Really it seems pretty typical that not all of those people can fully relate to you fully as an individual, which may not be a big problem. I guess the thing is if a person is used to doing their own thing it is less likely to just bump into someone who is "on the same wavelength" as they say. I'm thinking for some people maybe even meeting ex-JWs isn't the big "oh yes!! Now someone can relate!!" experience, so.. logically it would be something else.
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dungbeetle
I've met a lot of people in the world - in the org and out- who are kind of on their own wavelength (head in the clouds syndrome). Maybe that's even me!!! Whatever friends they have, have to accept them for who and what they are.
It isn't easy to find friends like that out there...but they are out there. First you gotta get out of the living room....then out the front door....you get my point.
Social skills help...but not required in some cases!!!
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Nathan Natas
Saint Satan,
What about people who were raised as dubs and thereby denied the opportunity to be "all that they could be," to borrow a phrase from the millitary. I'll be the first to admit that none of these was perfect either, but can you honestly say that the WTS encouraged the cultivation of whatever talents these kids may have been born with; talents which if actualized would have given them a feeling of being at home in the world - precisely the feeling they most commonly live without.
As people who were JW kids - most feel that life is a party they have not been invited to.
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Satanus
NN
Geeez, what are you doing reading these old threads??
I was mainly referring to converts, not the poor kids who get drowned in it.
SS
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Nathan Natas
Actually DungBeetle "resurrected" it and I found it on page 3.
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Prisca
As people who were JW kids - most feel that life is a party they have not been invited to.
I can fully relate to that. It's the weirdest feeling living in a world knowing that you aren't really part of it. Not part of it because that's what the Society has told you, and not part of it because you really don't fit in anyway.
Add on to that the inability to socialise with "worldly" people because you have never been taught how to make friends based on unconditional love.
No wonder so many of us ex-jws are so screwed up!